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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU To buy teacher "end of year"present?

117 replies

user1488540182 · 21/05/2017 12:12

Here's a question I hope I can find an answer to. As the end of the school year is fast approaching I am feeling reluctant to buy my sons' teacher a present.

I brought her a gift at Christmas and she didn't even so much as say a thank you or a "Happy Christmas"! Now I really feel like blanking the end of year gift. We didn't buy teacher's gifts when I was at school at the end of term, only if they were leaving. Any advice?

OP posts:
tillytown · 21/05/2017 20:22

Oops, I missed a page

DeadGood · 21/05/2017 20:22

OP, instead of imparting it in fragmented sections, can you explain how the exchange actually went?
Because right now it sounds like you handed a gift over, while saying nothing; equally mutely, she took it, then said "bye" to which you replied "merry christmas"
So you can probably understand now why people are having trouble believing or even understanding your description of events

Original poster
user1488540182 · 21/05/2017 20:25

for teachers sone of you have no understanding. The gift was wrapped, I have NOT told you what was INSIDE. I don't care what gifts you like or dnot like. The teacher did not say THANK YOU. what's hard to grasp here?

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 21/05/2017 20:27

It doesn't matter what was on the inside. It's another gift to deal with. We've seen them all before.

SayNoToCarrots · 21/05/2017 20:27

No one cares what was inside. You did not get the response you wanted, do not get her another gift.

TheWitTank · 21/05/2017 20:37

OP, you are getting far too wound up about this. If you felt the teacher was ungrateful then don't buy anything again. Christmas was months ago, let it go, save your money and either buy small gifts for other teachers if you want or stick to a thank you card. I promise you nobody will bat an eyelid whatever you choose to do.
Giving people the benefit of the doubt (and if said teacher is usually polite and friendly) maybe she was distracted or her mind was elsewhere. I have vague moments especially if I am concentrating or have a lot on my mind! I've thought later on 'oh no that might have seemed off!'.

jogondown · 21/05/2017 20:37

BiscuitBiscuitBiscuit

Floggingmolly · 21/05/2017 20:40

You "despise" it, HomeDesires... What a pleasant individual you are.

Original poster
user1488540182 · 21/05/2017 20:44

Thewittank, you know, maybe you are right.

OP posts:
RebelRogue · 21/05/2017 21:02

If you don't want to,don't! It's really that simple. No need to make a big song and dance about it.

ShatnersBassoon · 21/05/2017 21:05

Bloody hell, don't buy her a present. That's it. Literally nobody but you cares, not even the teacher in question.

C0untDucku1a · 21/05/2017 21:14
  1. You bought her the gift as a thank you, but youre getting really angry that you werent thanked for your thank you. Do you thnak people for thanking you? Serious question.
  1. If you literally went in with a smile and a gift saying thank you and she barely acknowledged you and just took the gift from your hand, then that sugegsts she doesnt like you very much. Could there be a reason for that? other than you sound like a pain in the arse
  1. You dont want to get an end of year gift, so dont! Theyre not required or expected.
ScarlettDarling · 21/05/2017 21:17

Op, if it really went like that then of course she was horribly rude. Even if she was busy and distracted there is no excuse for not thanking someone for a gift. So yanbu at all to not buy an end of year gift.

Even if she'd thanked you effusively you would still not be unreasonable to not buy her a gift. There is no need to buy gifts for teachers. It's completely your call whether you want to or not.

In case anyone is interested, I'm a primary teacher and I always thank children for gifts, and send thank you cards home. I've never thrown away a gift although I have redistributed some...I don't drink red wine so give to colleagues/friends/family who appreciate it. The millions of mugs are always incredibly useful in our staff room. The chocolate ALWAYS gets eaten either at home or school. And the smellies get used by my sister in law who doesn't have my sensitive skin!

EmmaC78 · 21/05/2017 21:20

I wouldn't bother buying anything. I have lots of teacher friends and most of them end up giving the present away to other people or donating to the charity shop.

Imaginosity · 21/05/2017 21:37

Whoever wants in my DS's class clubs in £5 each and we get the teacher flowers and a voucher on behalf of the class. The teacher can use the voucher for something they actually want and we don't have to spend a fortune.

Catra · 21/05/2017 21:38

Teachers are under scrutiny ever minute of the day and the job is harder than ever, so it's highly likely your child's teacher's mind was elsewhere, rather than she was being "rude." Naughty teacher for not saying thank you - we should bring back the cane! I think you're reading way too much into it, OP.

Original poster
user1488540182 · 21/05/2017 21:40

Countduckula.... yes of course there must be a reason why she didn't say thanks... yes it's because of me I'm the rude one not her. She's an educated person after all, I'm just another annoying parent.
are you just pretending to be thick or what? "Thank a person for thanking them"? do u not say thank you when you receive a present? I must say there are a lot of educated fools on this thread 😂😁😃😅

OP posts:
RebelRogue · 21/05/2017 21:41

Just do whatever you want to do rather than ranting for no reason. Why is that so hard?

Arthur2shedsJackson · 21/05/2017 21:47

I know a ( primary ) teacher who routinely throws away all presents given at Christmas and at term-end - without opening them. She leads a minimal, stylish existence in which there is no room for anything which doesn't aspire to her taste - which she assumes will be the case of any stuff gifted to her. And no, she is not a friend of mine.

Original poster
user1488540182 · 21/05/2017 21:55

It's rather interesting that all the comments from teachers have excused the teacher's behaviour by saying that: I'm the one with the problem, or she was distracted or teachers don't really like the presents anyway!? wff?! I must say to all you teachers who have posted here you have had me and my other half roaring with laughter here!!! We have the popcorn out with anticipation!! 😂

OP posts:
SorryNotSorry · 21/05/2017 21:58

I am a teacher, primary.
I don't throw presents away.
I take them home open them, read the cards and then write thank yous.
I work in a deprived school so don't get much but appreciate what I do get. I am disappointed that some people in my profession are so ungrateful.
It is also pretty boring that this same thread gets started every Christmas and summer term. Spend your money how you want but you don't have to display so much vitriol against teachers as justification for not wanting to buy a present.

Original poster
user1488540182 · 21/05/2017 22:03

Now I'm a teacher hater?!! 😁😁😁😁😁

OP posts:
ScarlettDarling · 21/05/2017 22:04

Op I'm a teacher. In my post, above, I didn't excuse the teacher's behaviour or say that it was you with the problem. I said she was very rude.

You seem determined to have a fight with everyone though. Anyway, glad I've got you and your other half roaring with laughter. You've got me and my dh rather Confused at your odd, aggressive responses!

29Palms · 21/05/2017 22:07

What an incredibly rude person.

(I'm not talking about the teacher)

SadieTheNurse · 21/05/2017 22:10

My ta friend loves all the gifts and so do her family. She positively looks forward to it

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