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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

is this normal play for a 2.5 year old?

112 replies

bugsymalonemumof2 · 21/05/2017 07:26

So I dont feel like DD plays properly so before taking my concerns elsewhere i thought I would watch her and write down what she does..

Between 3pm and 7pm yesterday

she had happylsnd, football, cars, boxes, bags, a tent and her toy kitchen out. her train set, playmobil, babies, books and blocks were also in the room but on the shelves still.

  • lined her cars up
  • organised her boxes inside the tent
  • put cars from box to boz
  • threw her football several times

dinner

  • put boxes inside the bags
  • carries the bags around the lounge and bought them over to show me
  • put her shoes on. put her shoes on her brother

bedtime routine started

She didnt once ask me to join in
She only once showed me something
Didnt once ask for help but when I offered she accepted

she didnt looj at any of the other stuff. If i Take away the boxes she might play with her toys in the sense she empties all of the storage tubs out. throws them around. she does do a little imaginative play but its very rigid. she always brings me tea and food from her kitchen. she always cleans her dolls bum, puts a clean nappy on and throws away the old one then puts baby to sleep. its very set, if that makes sense.

She only has about 30 words but i cant work out if she is playing right for 30 months

OP posts:
InDubiousBattle · 21/05/2017 07:29

All sounds fine to me.

Coulddowithanap · 21/05/2017 07:30

Sounds normal to me.

Jollypirates3 · 21/05/2017 07:30

I didnt know there was right way to play...!? I understand as you're talking about organisation and set ways you think your dc has autism? Is this where you are headed? Its not enough to go on. Some kids just like to be organised. My boys line uo their toys and they dont have autism. Unless you have any other worries in other areas i think she is just playing in the way she likes. My boys only ask for ny input if they can't do something that they want.

Try not to worry about it x

ANiceSliceOfCake · 21/05/2017 07:31

Sounds perfectly normal play to me, children like order and repeating the same things at that age. Just wait till Christmas when you get loads of toys and she will just play with the boxes. They are building independence too, so they want to do it all but themselves. Honestly. I wouldn't worry. Just still try and play with her, even if you are just on the floor being there.

EsmesBees · 21/05/2017 07:31

Sounds fine to me too. There is a lot of repetition and rule following in play at this age. Just be happy she entertains herself and doesn't need you to be involved.

Janek · 21/05/2017 07:33

That sounds like really good playing to me! Children often have really important stuff they have to do, and she sounds like she's getting it done. My dds were at least three, if not older, before they started proper imaginative play with toys (talking the different characters etc)

(Actually dd2 may have pretended to do it sooner, as she was copying dd1, but she didn't know why she was bouncing play mobil characters along the floor for ages...)

munchkinmaster · 21/05/2017 07:34

I think we had about a year of filling small rucksacks with tat and walking around the house, the game is called "holidays."

My younger daughter is 2.5 now and presented me with a bag with a toy sausage and a burger. This game is called "picnic."

Original poster
bugsymalonemumof2 · 21/05/2017 07:34

yes autism has been mentioned in reference to her and she has been referred onwards but i keep flipping between no she is not and yes she is.

OP posts:
Original poster
bugsymalonemumof2 · 21/05/2017 07:35

and this is the only way she has ever played she was never interested in toys as a baby

OP posts:
marabounuts · 21/05/2017 07:39

sounds a bit repetitive.my NT child did play very differently at that age but they are all different. But if this is your only concern I would not worry at all

drivingmisspotty · 21/05/2017 07:40

Have a look at these:
www.nature-play.co.uk/blog/schemas-in-childrens-play

www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/grownups/schemas

Nursery teachers I know are trained in these normal patterns of childhood behaviour (and joke that the children spend so much time moving the blocks to the sand and the farm animals into the dolls house which they then have to tidy up to their 'right' place at the end of the day).I always think it's funny that nobody seems to mention what can be perceived as 'strange' behaviour but is actually perfectly normal and very healthy to parents.

And if she is not asking for your help, enjoy the peace and quiet!

BikeRunSki · 21/05/2017 07:40

Normal for my two!!

marabounuts · 21/05/2017 07:40

who suggested ASD. are you under an kind of referral pathway?

oatybiscuits · 21/05/2017 07:43

Sounds totally normal to me. If she doesn't have words to narrate what she's doing then she may well be doing a little of imaginative play but you don't know about it. My ds is about the same age and does a lot of lining up, tipping things in and out. There are lots of autistic traits which are developmental stages for NT kids- (one of) the difference is autistic children don't grow out of all of them. Try and enjoy her independence for just now

drivingmisspotty · 21/05/2017 07:46

Sorry I only just saw your update that your DD has been referred on for assessment so can see why you are concerned and wouldn't have told you to enjoy the peace and quiet if I had realised! However, whether your DD is NT or has additional needs then I reckon the best approach is to support her and her play where it's at now.

SovietKitsch · 21/05/2017 07:46

Normal for my DD of a similar age - I love the fact she just gets on with it herself and I mostly don't have to join in! The only difference is language (my DD talks very fluently) but has language been raised as a concern?

Original poster
bugsymalonemumof2 · 21/05/2017 07:47

the health visitor has referred her to the comm pead who has passed it straight onto the child development centre.

I dont think she is, but I may just be in denial.

OP posts:
Original poster
bugsymalonemumof2 · 21/05/2017 07:48

speech is a bog concern as is still assessed as being 8-20 months

OP posts:
requestingsunshine · 21/05/2017 07:49

Sounds normal. She's only 2.5 and just sounds like she's perfectly happy playing by herself. Some kids do, some need constant interaction. Neither way is wrong.

marabounuts · 21/05/2017 07:52

if you have been referred then you are on the right pathway. nobody on here will be able to tell you yes/no.

you have only been referred, no DX yet. this limbo is the hardest time. I really feel for you (I have a DD with autism/learning diffs and speech delay). this is how we started off. Flowers

Original poster
bugsymalonemumof2 · 21/05/2017 07:52

I know about schemas which is why it never bothered me but apparantky when its the only way she likes to play in 18 months and doesnt show signs of stopping thats a concern

OP posts:
marabounuts · 21/05/2017 07:54

I would more worry about the limited vocab.
is her understanding age appropriate?

DarkFloodRises · 21/05/2017 07:57

The difficulty is that a lot of the behaviours associated with autism are also exhibited by NT toddlers. That sounds like normal play but if it was combined with other factors then it could be a cause for concern.

Original poster
bugsymalonemumof2 · 21/05/2017 07:57

her understanding is in the 22-36 month category but i dont think her understanding has progressed at all in the past 6 months or so and she was only just into that category. i cant really work out more precisely where she is

OP posts:
mistermagpie · 21/05/2017 07:59

She plays exactly the same way my DS does, but he's 22 months so a bit younger. I have no experience of older children but would probably expect a bit more interaction or imaginative play by 2.5. Saying that, there are all kinds of 'fun' and maybe she just enjoys what she's doing? DS does a lot of repetition of 'games' but overall prefers to be outside, if I chuck him in the garden he's much more animated and interactive - does she do outdoor play?