is this normal play for a 2.5 year old?

[bugsymalonemumof2]

So I dont feel like DD plays properly so before taking my concerns elsewhere i thought I would watch her and write down what she does..

Between 3pm and 7pm yesterday

she had happylsnd, football, cars, boxes, bags, a tent and her toy kitchen out. her train set, playmobil, babies, books and blocks were also in the room but on the shelves still.

• lined her cars up
• organised her boxes inside the tent
• put cars from box to boz
• threw her football several times

dinner

• put boxes inside the bags
• carries the bags around the lounge and bought them over to show me
• put her shoes on. put her shoes on her brother

bedtime routine started

She didnt once ask me to join in
She only once showed me something
Didnt once ask for help but when I offered she accepted

she didnt looj at any of the other stuff. If i Take away the boxes she might play with her toys in the sense she empties all of the storage tubs out. throws them around. she does do a little imaginative play but its very rigid. she always brings me tea and food from her kitchen. she always cleans her dolls bum, puts a clean nappy on and throws away the old one then puts baby to sleep. its very set, if that makes sense.

She only has about 30 words but i cant work out if she is playing right for 30 months

If you play with a toy with her does she look at you to see how you are responding?

Children often have really important stuff they have to do, and she sounds like she's getting it done.

I love this.

Has anyone mentioned her small very cab? DS is the same age and has about 175 words, and he's being monitored by SALT. Mind you, partly that's because he doesn't really use 'I' or 'me', or ask questions - he does a lot of declarative statements, in two and three words sentances.

Sorry, that should be small vocab

Just another one to add that it sounds normal to me. My dd and ds both liked sorting and dd still loves putting things in bags now she is nearly 4. I thought it was common for young children to play by themselves? I think they are nearer 3 - 3 and a half before they engage others in play? Could be wrong but when mine started nursery at 3 I was told that they play alongside other children at that age rather than with them

Sorry, I posted before I read all the comments - I see speech has been flagged.

I don't think ASD itself worries me, its the not knowing. Same with a speech and language delay, I would rather know what I'm dealing with so i can then support her effectively than feel stuck in limbo. the SALT thing throws me as she did have speech and then suddenly went silent about 6 months ago and has slowly rebuilt it not as good a level.

How many words did she have 6 months ago? What is the structure of her language - I mean, does she ask questions, does she demand things, can she understand abstract concepts?

probably about a third more what she has now as she has rebuilt some of it. Literally in the last week she has learnt she can stick 'no' in front of most the words she has.

she demands things by shouting mama and shoving them in my face or dragging me over to them. I dont think she gets abstract conceots at all, she doesnt get the concept behind receiving stickers for good behaviour for example

Hi OP. each of your updates adds slightly more to the picture than just concerns over play. Yiu have concerns here but also over delayed speech that regresses over six months ago and have also been referred for assessment. If that's correct then to me it sounds like there might be something more going on than just a child playing in her own way.

It sounds like you have for some support to investigate further. This might sounds trite but try not to worry too much. Your DD is unique and you will discover her own particular wonderful qualities as she grows. If there is any additional support that she needs, it sounds like you are on the path to getting that for her. Good luck.

I understand the 'wanting to know'. We went through that when ds was between 1.5 and 3.5. It is a stressful time.

My ds was very similar.

Not many words before 3. Liked to tidy stuff rather than throw it all round like dd did. He used to tidy supermarket shelves.

Got frustrated. Didnt seem to understand things.

I was concerned. But now he 6 and talks (non stop) still like tidying but definitely NT.

But thats not to say you shouldnt be concerned. Its so difficult because it could be something or nothing.

Ds is 28 months. Speech wise it sounds like him about 4 months ago - and he had delayed speech due to glue ear and was under SALT for a while. When you say about 30 words have you actually written them down and counted them? We did it for his 2 year review and he actually knew a lot more than we'd guessed.

What I'm really noticing with DS at this age is how quickly he is developing and changing mentally. His vocabulary is growing week by week, he is starting to put together sentences, he's copying us loads more and trying to 'help', he's just started imaginative play, and is just starting to play with other children properly (rather than play alongside). His friends the same age are going through similar development.

If your DD doesn't seem to be changing and developing that does sound more unusual.

She does the supermarket shelves thing too :D

I wrote them down and got 26 including animal noises

she calls cats 'owow' and cows 'oooo' and sheep 'aaaa'

everythinf is still very mama and one sylabel words with similar sounds.

OP, I was where you are a couple of years ago although slightly different issues. My ds turned out to be NT and just a bit behind in some social skills and with a few 'quirks'. I know at the moment you are probably obsessed with diagnosis and 'knowing' but as others have said it may be too soon to say. Instead I would focus on supporting your dd in areas she finds difficult, this will help regardless of any underlying issue. For example, try and slowly encourage her to play with you a little each day, do as much to encourage her langauge skills as you can. You are doing the right thing with the referral as they may well provide / recommend things like speech and language therapy. My experience was at a young age they may not give you a diagnosis but we were monitored and offered a follow up appointment which I found reassuring (although in the end unnecessary). Then if problems become more apparent as she gets older you are already 'in the system'. Does your dd go to nursery at all? If so I would speak to them and see if they can offer some support e.g. ds was worked with in small groups on social skills like sharing and communication by their SENCO and it helped him loads. If not there is lots of advice on MN about ways you can support at home. I know it's easy to say but try not to panic and enjoy your dd.

My 3 year old does the same lines cars up in colours then adds a paws patrol dog to the correct colour car. She even does it with any coloured sweets she has had.
She puts toys in bags , hands out toys like mummy pig to mummy daddy pig to daddy etc , she loves to put puzzles together but other than that , it's all she does regarding play , I think she probably has a logical brain,

I wouldn't worry about autism unless there's other symptoms! Your daughters play sounds great to me.

If you are worried get it all checked out. Early diagnosis means you can get the therapies started early.

My DS was similar, & was diagnosed with borderline ASD when he was 3.

He's now 18, in the midst of his A-levels in anticipation of heading off to a very good University in the Autumn. Has a nice friendship group, happy person. It's not always a bad outcome.

thank you thats really helpful.

Its definitely the unknowing, regardless of ASD or not she doesnt change as a person I just dont like limbo! doesnt help that locally there is a major back log at the CDC due to staff leavinv so its a minimum of 9 month waits. she was referred in february