To be a bit miffed that my BF wants to use my bridesmaid dresses for her own wedding?

[Stiffanky]

So my best friend is getting married next year and myself and another of her 3 bridesmaids has been round to her house today to do a bit of wedding planning. I had both of these girls as bridesmaids at my wedding nearly 4 years ago, plus my sister. Now my friend lives in her DP's large-ish house, he has a Porsche and another big car, his own business, and is generally reasonably comfortable financially.... which has left me baffled and slightly bemused with her asking me if they can use the same 3 bridesmaid dresses for her wedding as I had for mine in order to save money. So I'd wear my sister's dress, our mutual bridesmaid the same one she wore for mine and her other friend the one that the bride-to-be wore for mine. AIBU to be a bit put out about this? WWYD in this scenario? Acquiesce.... it's her day after all; or say no?

It would bother me. And I'm all for recycling and reusing. It seems odd and a bit 'off'. I definitely think the dresses should be used again - I've had bridesmaids dresses cut down and altered to be worn at other occasions, I'd hate for them to languish unused in a wardrobe - but for a friend to actually ask to reuse the same set of bridesmaid's dresses for their own wedding seems strange. It also puts you in an awkward position. Furthermore, as others have pointed out, the dresses belong to the bridesmaids so you can't really decide for them. However if you go for it I like your mum's suggestion of a donation to charity in return.

Then I must be mean spirited for not wanting someone else to wear the dresses that I took weeks to make. They were specifically chosen to suit the people in mind for my wedding. I have no problem with someone copying me and buying the same bag, coat, shoes etc as me. Or lending my things. But reusing these dresses is something i couldn't condone. I don't feel the same way about the dresses the 2 little bridesmaids wore as they were off the peg. Personally I'd rather make new dresses for my friend in this situation.

Was she being serious when she said this or was it just brought up in discussion ? If my best friend was struggling for money but wanted to get married I would be all for it. But if she has the money and spending a lot on wedding , I wouldn't been keen on the idea. It gets me thinking why wouldn't she want new dresses for her bridesmaids she could go for the same style if she liked yours so much.
I get where you are coming from you feel a bit let down because you wanted to go for the fitting and try on different styles colours etc. And you bought them and bridesmaids dresses don't come cheap nowadays which obviously your friend will know.
Maybe suggest to her that you could maybe chose your own bridesmaids dress different to ones you had and if the others want to wear the ones they have then they can. This way your all getting what you wanted and it might not feel as disheartening for you.
If she's a good friend then just tell her how you feel and why you feel that way.

I think it's a nice idea.

I would love for my wedding dress to be used again too.

Stiffanky - don't worry, I won't spend too much time dwelling on it! And it wasn't aimed at you personally, as there seem to be plenty of other posters on here who are more against the idea that you are!

"Jealous" is not the same as envious - it has more than one possible meaning. One meaning is "fiercely protective of one's possessions" so it seemed spot on to me!

en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/jealous

YANBU She's being a mingebag. She was happy for you to spend a fortune on a bridesmaid dress for her.

The least she could do is treat you all to a new one. She is just being tight. Fuck all to do with 'saving the planet'.

Housework - I'd be inclined to agree there but would you say it to her face if you were op?

StarHeartDiamond OMG I so would

I would have made a joke immediately "ha ha funny, don't even think of being a tight arse after I bought you a fab dress"

Or something along those lines. I'm not backward in coming forward.

You need to nip things like that in the bud straight away.

It's like the 'expensive hen do' thread. I'd have said something from the word go.

I wore my best friend's wedding dress. It was the "something borrowed". Different circumstances, my mum died several years before I married and I couldn't face choosing a dress without her there. Money wasn't the issue, I could have afforded my own but it mean't a huge amount to me to be allowed to wear something so special to her and she was delighted to see it out of the box again.