To have called her a selfish cow?

[Mrsknackered]

Little bit of a back story - we have a family a few doors down who drive me mental. The mum is very crass and has said some pretty offensive things.
I try and avoid her to the best of my ability but our 4 year olds are best friends (of course) so I put up with her for a couple hours a week so they can continue being friends.
Yesterday myself, my 2 DS's and my pregnant friend went to the park and cafe within the park - we bumped into neighbour in the park, she joined us.
4yo's playing nicely and my 5 month DS and her 1 year old were interacting, I noted her DD had a snotty nose but didn't think anything of it. She's met my friend before and knew she was pregnant etc.
I have just received a text from neighbour saying 'hi luv, kids have chickenpox rash today more are coming up by the minute' so I'm like 'oh no! Will have to let friend know. Hope they're okay, I'll keep an eye on mine' and then she's like 'yeah I took them to a chicken pox party a week and a bit ago but it's taken them ages to come up' and that was it. I'm fuming.
Why the hell did she not mention this before our children slobbered and climbed over each other? Before my pregnant friend held her DD?
I didn't reply because I was so cross and she sent another saying 'it'll be good for your kids to get it now' and I said 'no it's really inconvenient as DS1 has his primary school visit in less than 2 weeks and an audition for his hobby and DS2 has already been hospitalised three times in his 5 months with what should be little infections that his body can't fight. You selfish cow'
She's now rang me 3 times, I'm ignoring. The door will probably start knocking soon. I know I am probably being U but I really don't feel like I am!

OP - YANBU at all, not warning people that your children may be infectious is idiotic.

But as to some of the other posts - I assume every single one of you (in the UK) has paid for private vaccinations? If not, I don't see the harm in deliberately exposing your child - else they're bound to get it just before a foreign holiday / a big family wedding / their first week at university... (Not saying it shouldn't be vaccinated against, but if you're not going to get vaccinated, expecting that your children will remain unexposed for the rest of their lives is highly optimistic... (with massive sympathies to those that can't vaccinate for medical reasons / financial reasons)

I had horrendous CP as a child and as a result covered in little white cars from it. I live overseas and it's standard to get vaccinated for it (we pay).

My consultant paed says it is 75% effective and the 25% that do get it have a much much milder form.

This was enough for me to sign DD up for it.

I've never understood the CP parties thing because you can have it more than once. Do people think this prevents kids ever getting it again ?

I had it at 2 and then again at 5. My brother had it twice.

The vaccination should be available on the NHS, the reason they give about possibly more shingles in adults if all children were protected has been shown to be untrue as since the US introduced it to their immunisation schedule there has been no increase.
I feel for parents who genuinely cannot afford to protect their children but the majority of mums on Mumsnet need to be aware they can protect their children from what can be a very serious disease for some, can leave your child scarred for life and lead to shingles in later life. Why would any of you who could afford it choose not to protect your child just because it isn't free? And why direct such condemnation at me when it is pointed out to you that having to pay for it is not an excuse for failing to protect your precious children. How much does it cost? Last friend who had it done paid £60 for each dose, a bit more than her mobile phone costs her each month or about 20 lattes, a few nights out?

The choice is yours.

but the majority of mums on Mumsnet

You're still doing it. Seriously, is the picture in your head honestly see the majority of mumsnet not short of a few quid?

Who the fuck are you with where mobile contracts cost that much? You're being robbed man!

A pp listed the stats that I couldn't remember. They said it's 75% effective.

£60 a shot, for something that they need two shots of. For twins (so double it again) for something that's only 75% effective and there's some evidence that the 25% who get it get it worse.

£240 to potentially make them even iller. That sounds amazing, where to do sign up!!

And that's before I even start trying to work out where to get the money from. I don't drink enough lattes to save that amount of money from lattes before they're at university. In fact, I don't drink enough lattes to save that amount of money from lattes in their lifetime!!

I've had it twice too @ParmaViolets17
So have both my dd's.
You say your db has too?
Maybe it's generic ?

Serious question. I've really never heard of a chicken pox party.
Is it an actual party?
Does the infected person get presents?

Esspee - the "majority" of mums? £60 per dose, x 2, x however many children you have soon adds up to more then a few "lattes".

You are not coming across well, not that you care, but yes, stand assured, you are clearly a better parent than most, as your children are oh so precious, and mind are poor neglected mites.

£120 per child!

Yes you are right esspee we all have brilliant jobs earning 100k a year and we are wasting it all on exotic hols and concerts.

Trouble is if I saved what I spend on lattes per week it would take me 48 weeks to save £120. What if my kid got cp before them? Would I be a good mum for trying or a bad mum for not having the cash up front?

Funnyfarmer - when I was a kid it was basically an open invite play date where the children of the host had chickenpox and all attendees knew that and could decide for themselves whether to attend or not.

No presents given or received.

My iPhone (given to me by a friend when he upgraded) costs less than £7.50/month on PAYG. Ds is on a SIM only contract (Android phone was a birthday present) is £7.50/month and he never goes over his limit.

Someone who is paying £60/month for a mobile contract has more money than sense

I am very much pro-vaccines. No qualms whatsoever with the MMR. However I do not think that choosing not to vaccinate privately for Chicken Pox shows a lack of desire to prioritise children's welfare verging on neglect especially when the jury is out on its long term efficacy (and therefore potentially a real danger to adults).

Some people really have no idea of the struggles that others face. I am comfortably off (even though I pay less than £7.50/month for my mobile ) but at least I have the self-awareness to recognise that and to know that I have no idea what it is like to count every penny carefully.

To be quite honest I never even knew there was a vaccine available, it hadn't crossed my mind.

But no, sadly, due to unforeseen circumstances there definitely is not £240 floating about at the end of the week in our household. I'm lucky if I can treat myself to a latte at the moment.

I would want gifts. And a chicken pox themed cake. I can't believe I've missed 6 opportunities to throw a party!
.

Choosing not to have your child vaccinated is child neglect

As others have said its not offered in the UK. You can arrange it privately at significant cost so are you saying that people whose incomes are too low to afford this are all guilty of neglect?

What an idiot.

Dd came down with chicken pox last week, the afternoon before we had been at a family party, by 1am she had spots appearing.

I called all of my family members with children and babies to tell them. I apologised and felt awful, even though there was no way to know.

Surprisingly I had one local Mum ask if she could sent her ds around as he hasn't had it yet.

She also has a three week old baby.

I politely declined told her not to be bloody stupid and gave her directions to read on nhs website about what it says about very young babies and chicken pox

I had actually planned to give the vaccine but it was recommended that we wait until the youngest was one.

Which he was last week

I get the impression Espree is purposely trying to annoy people, I'm sure all mum's on here are quite capable of deciding what is best for their own child without some know it all's 'advice'. Thanks love but I've done my own research and have made a conscious decision not to do this and it isn't due to money

A friend of mine went on a uk break recently and put on fb how her youngest erupted into cp the day they arrived. At the end of the week she gushed about how her child didn't let it get her down and they still managed to go swimming everyday and to the evening disco along with a whole list of group activities. I couldn't believe anyone would be so selfish and it's made me see her in a completely different light

That should have read Esspee

No, I am not trying to annoy people. I am stunned that some mumsnetters think that it is ok to try to infect their children with a disease that could turn out to be extremely serious, possibly scarring them for life and giving them a week or two of misery. There are also mums who think it is acceptable to invite other children to play hoping they will become infected. Imagine if one of these infected children ended up hospitalised (or worse).
The OP's neighbour behaved atrociously in allowing her children to potentially infect others without warning the OP.
I seriously cannot understand why any parent who could afford it would not have their child vaccinated just because they would have to pay for it. I scrimped and saved to provide my kids with essentials but these days parents seem to have different priorities.
Ideally the NHS needs to make this vaccination available to all.

Your pregnant friend is safe because she's already had chicken pox.

Your neighbour should have told you she'd gone to a CP party and might be coming out in chicken pox. obviously she knew there was a high chance. It would have been totally acceptable and genuinely accidental if the kids had developed CP in the park and the mother had no idea whatsoever

Stupid, stupid woman

There are some ridiculous responses on here.

child neglect if you don't vaccinate against chicken pox? well I guess 95% plus UK parents are shit then

The vaccine isnt great either. I had it on the NHS - 2 doses and I still caught chicken pox so it could well be that posters pontificating about the vaccine may have wasted their money.

The vaccine is 98% effective. Sorry you were in the 2%. Most people who get chickenpox after having the vaccine do have a much milder dose with fewer spots.