To have called her a selfish cow?

[Mrsknackered]

Little bit of a back story - we have a family a few doors down who drive me mental. The mum is very crass and has said some pretty offensive things.
I try and avoid her to the best of my ability but our 4 year olds are best friends (of course) so I put up with her for a couple hours a week so they can continue being friends.
Yesterday myself, my 2 DS's and my pregnant friend went to the park and cafe within the park - we bumped into neighbour in the park, she joined us.
4yo's playing nicely and my 5 month DS and her 1 year old were interacting, I noted her DD had a snotty nose but didn't think anything of it. She's met my friend before and knew she was pregnant etc.
I have just received a text from neighbour saying 'hi luv, kids have chickenpox rash today more are coming up by the minute' so I'm like 'oh no! Will have to let friend know. Hope they're okay, I'll keep an eye on mine' and then she's like 'yeah I took them to a chicken pox party a week and a bit ago but it's taken them ages to come up' and that was it. I'm fuming.
Why the hell did she not mention this before our children slobbered and climbed over each other? Before my pregnant friend held her DD?
I didn't reply because I was so cross and she sent another saying 'it'll be good for your kids to get it now' and I said 'no it's really inconvenient as DS1 has his primary school visit in less than 2 weeks and an audition for his hobby and DS2 has already been hospitalised three times in his 5 months with what should be little infections that his body can't fight. You selfish cow'
She's now rang me 3 times, I'm ignoring. The door will probably start knocking soon. I know I am probably being U but I really don't feel like I am!

We have a sign up in our local soft play warning against chicken pox parties lavei,.sadly it's no joke.

No way?!

I just asked DP if he knew about them and he said he thought they were quite a good idea

Most people get over chicken pox quite quickly but for some it can be very serious. She probably doesn't know this and thinks it's a mild childhood illness.

Chicken pox could kill someone who takes an immune system surpressant for things like colitis, which is very common. If they haven't had CP and they contract it it can be fatal.

Choosing not to have your child vaccinated is child neglect.

Oh do wind your neck in, its not given routinely in UK why is that so difficult to understand. Plus the baby is TOO YOUNG to have it.

The woman is beyond stupid. I would have txt a lot more I am afraid. Deliberatley exposing your vulnerable baby to chicken pox is hellish. I would have told her in no uncertain terms what I thought of that, plus your pregnant friend, she wasnt to know if she was vaccinated or not.

Sorry I stand corrected about pregnant women automatically getting a jab if they haven't had cp before. I know one friend for whom this happened, but I wasn't aware it wasn't standard practice. Quite shocked about that, given how awful it can be to get cp in pregnancy.

Enid

She deliberately exposed Ops vulnerable baby who has been in hospital 3 times with minor infections in 5 months what do you think the chicken pox virus could do to him?

I would be freaking furious that she risked my baby in such a cavalier way. Plus she could screw up her other childs school visit and his audition. Its NOT her decision to make.

I totally agree with you Willow

Never even heard of a chicken pox party!
Is there food,drinks,entertainment?

The reason vaccination isn't offered on the NHS is cost. They give the reason that it could cause more shingles in adults but in the US, where it is routine, no increase in adult shingles has been observed.
To deliberately cause your child to be exposed to an infectious disease which can be extremely serious, can cause permanent scarring, will possibly lead to shingles in later life and certainly gives your child a very miserable week or two is child abuse. If you have the means to protect your child from the danger of this disease, which remains in the system forever coming back as shingles in adulthood, how could any responsible parent not make a point of protecting their child. No, it is not free. You need two doses, about the cost of tickets to a concert. What are the financial priorities in your households?

I'd drop family for that bullshit OP! YANBU!! She's a selfish, ignorant cow. Who even takes kids to a chickenpox party? Absolutely disgusting behaviour. I knew someone who took their 18 month old to a chickenpox party 2 months before their holiday, 'to get it over and done with'. Her kids ended up pretty scarred and unwell.

I hope both your children are ok! Especially your poor little one.

Oh shove off with your child abuse bollocks! Not everyone has money to pay for vaccines either.

We all have different priorities on how we spend our money demented pixie. My children were always mine. I do realise that there are mums on the breadline but the majority of us have some spare money for discretionary spending.

esspee just the mums responsibility then? i do realise that there are mums on the breadline

Esspee Sat 20-May-17 18:03:17
Choosing not to have your child vaccinated is child neglect.

What are the financial priorities in your households?

You say it is about "the cost of tickets to a concert" as if every family is choosing to finance "luxuries" at the sake of their child's health.

How about you try harder to not come across like as so judgemental and realise some people have pennies left at the end of the week after essentials have been met. And by that I mean food, rent, bills. So they simply cannot afford it.

If I go by what the NHS says, (and probably a lot of us would) they do say "There's a worry that introducing chickenpox vaccination for all children could increase the risk of chickenpox and shingles in adults.......If you vaccinate children against chickenpox, you lose this natural boosting, so immunity in adults will drop and more shingles cases will occur.."

So tbh, how fucking dare you make a comment like that, as if people care so little for little for their children they prioritise frivolities over the health of their child. Suggesting they care so little as they did not go for a vaccine that is not routinely offered as the NHS sees no clinical need for it at present.

I knew a little child who died of chicken pox. I really wish people would not be so stupid.

I don't even know where to start with you Esspee. You're off your head

You need two doses, about the cost of tickets to a concert

Because that's he norm in households is it, concerts?

I do realise that there are mums on the breadline but the majority of us have some spare money for discretionary spending

The majority? you're a Tory voter aren't you?

I had chicken pox and shingles as a baby so don't be fooled into thinking shingles can only affects adults or oaps

Esspee have you name changed?
I cannot believe you.
we all have different priorities on how we spend our money. My children where always mine
Do you know how rude and condescending you sound?.I'm amazed actually.

My DS1 got CP very severely. I take CP really quite seriously and got quite poorly so I have done my research.

My kids have had all the standard vaccines. I've chosen not to have my younger children vaccinated against CP. Quite simply because it's not all that effective. I forget the exact numbers but it was quite a reasonable percentage of people who have the vaccination as a child will contract CP (not shingles) as an adult. And anecdotal evidence suggests that they can get it worse.

I don't believe in pox parties - I don't know how I'd live with myself if another of my kids ended up in hospital with CP and I had chosen to expose him to that particular strain. I'm just praying for a mild strain which gives just enough spots for lifelong immunity!!

Thing is, people completely underestimated what chicken pox can do. Even now people think it's a bit of a rash, a bit of an annoyance, and that's it. To be honest, I even thought that until DS2 caught it from DS1 nine years ago. As a 9 month old baby he was hospitalised and it was dreadful. Then I read up more about it and realised how dangerous it can be. Your neighbour may well be completely oblivious to the complications and problems it can raise. I think calling her a selfish cow was a bit OTT, but I can see why you did it.

For most people cp is a mild childhood illness, generally getting it adulthood is much more likely to be serious not to mention inconvenient.I caught it when I was doing my A levels and was really really poorly and had to miss many of the exams.
I can understand CP parties as very few people escape CP for the whole of their life, so in many ways it makes sense to have it when it I most likely to be mild and convenient .

espee

Wow ain't you a peach?

People using food banks to feed their kids but according to you they are spending money on frivolities instead of immunising them. Wake up and smell the coffee.
Get down from your ivory palace and look at real life. You sound a self important condescending know it all it's not considered beneficial in UK to immunize so bore off.

She's an absolute idiot.
I would have replied a lot worse
This would be it for me.