To have called her a selfish cow?

[Mrsknackered]

Little bit of a back story - we have a family a few doors down who drive me mental. The mum is very crass and has said some pretty offensive things.
I try and avoid her to the best of my ability but our 4 year olds are best friends (of course) so I put up with her for a couple hours a week so they can continue being friends.
Yesterday myself, my 2 DS's and my pregnant friend went to the park and cafe within the park - we bumped into neighbour in the park, she joined us.
4yo's playing nicely and my 5 month DS and her 1 year old were interacting, I noted her DD had a snotty nose but didn't think anything of it. She's met my friend before and knew she was pregnant etc.
I have just received a text from neighbour saying 'hi luv, kids have chickenpox rash today more are coming up by the minute' so I'm like 'oh no! Will have to let friend know. Hope they're okay, I'll keep an eye on mine' and then she's like 'yeah I took them to a chicken pox party a week and a bit ago but it's taken them ages to come up' and that was it. I'm fuming.
Why the hell did she not mention this before our children slobbered and climbed over each other? Before my pregnant friend held her DD?
I didn't reply because I was so cross and she sent another saying 'it'll be good for your kids to get it now' and I said 'no it's really inconvenient as DS1 has his primary school visit in less than 2 weeks and an audition for his hobby and DS2 has already been hospitalised three times in his 5 months with what should be little infections that his body can't fight. You selfish cow'
She's now rang me 3 times, I'm ignoring. The door will probably start knocking soon. I know I am probably being U but I really don't feel like I am!

Do they do that? I know I should know (and DS has had all his shots) but I can't remember!

Esspee it's not a standard vaccination in the U.K.

esspee are you not in the uk? In the U.K. Children are not routinely vaccinated against chickenpox.

If your friend has had chickenpox before she is in no danger from being exposed yesterday. But the chickenpox mum wasent to know that!

Fucking hell, I think you were quite restrained. I've never had chickenpox and have a vulnerable baby. I would probably not see her again, 4 year-olds make new friends.

Chicken pox isn't routinely vaccinated against in the UK so that's a daft question. A 5 month old is too young for vaccination too. Getting chickenpox under 1 year also increases the chances of childhood shingles

The vaccination wasn't available when I had children. Had it been so I would have considered the cost money very well spent. I know it isn't free on the NHS.

esspee, even if the OP was in a country which vaccinates her baby isn't old enough. It's not given until a year.

Also OP's friend is particularly wrong because if a baby that age gets it it's unlikely to give them immunity.

My ds had chickenpox around 6 months and childhood shingles age 3.

Your neighbour is inconsiderate - she should have told you about the cp party before sitting next to you.

BUT...your reaction is OTT. Your friend is right that you can pick up cp from anyone and this is peak cp season. Anyone who falls pregnant and hasn't had cp should mention this to their midwife straight away so they can be immunised. Likewise, if you don't immunise your children you have to accept that they will have cp at some point and Sod's law they will get it when it's most inconvenient!
We had to delay our holiday recently because my DD caught cp and couldn't fly on the plane. Annoying, but I should have vaccinated her if I'd wanted to prevent something like this happening.

Good point above about the 5 month old though - would be too young to have had vaccination. Your neighbour needs educating!

That's not true EnidB. Pregnant women aren't automatically immunized if they don't have immunity.

There's also a big difference between accepting the background risk, which you can do nothing about, and accepting someone radically increasing your current individual risk.

I don't know Enid there's a difference between unknowningly being exposed and someone wilfully exposing your vulnerable baby. I don't think the OP is unreasonably distressed about this.

After discovering that my children had been exposed to CP I declined an invite to a birthday party where several babies were going to be in attendance - it's only responsible.

YANBU

The comment about childhood shingles reminded me that we were never sure if ds had had chicken pox at 6 months old and he only had 2, maybe three dubious spots (and if he had, whether he'd fought it with my immunity as I was still breastfeeding or had developed his own) .

Age 14 he developed shingles - the day before he was due to go skiing with the school (actually had started earlier in the week but bad mother thought it was urticaria and he didn't tell me until the day before that the "rash" had spread). Classic torso band - fortunately all covered by his clothes so all it did was save me having to buy him speedos (in case of bad weather and they went swimming) as that was the only thing he was restricted from doing.

At least we now know he's had chicken pox!

YANBU. She is a selfish cow ( and obviously a bit thick). Cut contact from now on.

SolomanDaisy, thank you for pointing out that the vaccination is given at 12 months. I was unaware of that. Even so the older child could have been immune had they been vaccinated. I agree that the neighbour was way out of order allowing her children to become infected deliberately and not letting the OP know that they might be infected. Parents who have chickenpox parties are guilty of child abuse. Choosing not to have your child vaccinated is child neglect.

Not in the case of chickenpox vaccine . There are good reasons why most countries don't offer it.

Oh god, childhood shingles? Really? DS had chickenpox at six weeks old, while EBF. He only had about eight spots.
He's 11 now and has missed every round of it at school and nursery, so I hoped we'd swerved it. Sounds like we could be in for fun times at some point.

Never had chicken pox myself and when I was pregnant with last child I taught in a school where there was an outbreak. Occupatonal hazard. Your neighbour is a dose and is probably best avoided from hence forth.

As well as anything else she is setting up her kids to develop shingles in later life. And shingles is no joke.

I had my youngest vaccinated after my eldest two had it. Mild childhood illness my arse.

It was very expensive though (I do consider it money well spend however).

To call it child neglect not to have it done is ridiculous. Wind your neck in PP.

Parents who have chickenpox parties are guilty of child abuse. Choosing not to have your child vaccinated is child neglect

Man, I've read some bloody ridiculous things on here in my time but that made me chortle

Nice response esspee

Op, this woman is bat-shit crazy, she won't see reason, I would steer well clear. Your friend is going to be v anxious...

What on earth is a chicken pox party? I thought this was a joke?!

"It'll be good for your kids to get it now"

Er who the fuck does she think she is? Your reaction is not OTT- she's a twat.

It's where other children are invited to a pox ridden child's house in the hope that they will catch chicken pox too. Not something I would do tbh