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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to cancel this cake so last minute

80 replies

CaptainObviousTwo · 20/05/2017 08:10

A friend of a friend commissioned me to make her birthday cake for her, I made her sons a few weeks ago. Originally when she ordered it, I lived a few miles away but have since moved to the Midlands (they're in London). I kept my word, made the sons birthday cake and drove it down and was planning on doing so again today.
Its a 6-7 hour round trip.

My Granddad died in the early hours of this morning. He was quite elderly but its a huge shock. I'm not sure I'm good to drive to Tesco, let alone London.

Except I promised this cake to be in London at 3pm. I've still got some decorating left too.

WIBU to cancel? It seems like such a shit thing to do, and on her bloody birthday. Its a fairly simple cake, so not the centre piece or anything but I hate being so unreliable.

I have no idea what to text her and am feeling really panicky

OP posts:
ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 20/05/2017 08:13

Could you finish the cake but explain that they will need to collect it?

Really sorry about your Grandad Flowers

TheWitTank · 20/05/2017 08:14

Be honest. Your Grandad has died, it's absolutely understandable why you can't complete the cake. Sorry for your loss Flowers

giantpurplepeopleeater · 20/05/2017 08:14

If she's a friend she'll understand. I mean I'm assyming youve not been paid for this,
Or at least will ve waving the fee?

Why not let her know that if she can arrange pick up then she can have it.

Original poster
CaptainObviousTwo · 20/05/2017 08:15

I highly doubt they'll be willing/able to do a 250 mile round trip for a cake.

I feel so shitty about it.
Can't think how to word it

OP posts:
PetalMettle · 20/05/2017 08:15

Sorry for your loss. I'd text her and give her the option to pick up. It's not like it's for a kid x

Tiptoethr0ughthetulips · 20/05/2017 08:16

Really sorry about your grandad Flowers for you. I think I'd finish the cake and contact friend explaining situation and asking her to collect it.

Original poster
CaptainObviousTwo · 20/05/2017 08:17

She's more of an acquaintance. Very lovely though. I'll refund her obviously.

OP posts:
UrsulaPandress · 20/05/2017 08:17

Sorry for your loss. Just tell her. It's only a cake.

And a bloody long way to take it.

JennyOnAPlate · 20/05/2017 08:18

So sorry for your loss Flowers

Text her now so she had time to collect it if she wants to. She's no friend at all if she's cross that you won't deliver under the circumstances.

SinglePringle · 20/05/2017 08:18

Sorry for your loss.

I'd finish the cake and offer to courier it. She probably won't accept in the circumstances but I'd offer and be prepared to pay.

AddToBasket · 20/05/2017 08:18

Presumably you aren't charging her. So she has a big budget to get one from a patisserie. She needs to know now though.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 20/05/2017 08:18

It's only a cake. She will be able to buy another one. I'm sorry for your loss. Flowers

prettywhiteguitar · 20/05/2017 08:20

If she won't come and collect it why would she expect you to go and drive it over ?

Katmeifyoucan · 20/05/2017 08:20

Of course not. It is only a cake. Text her now.

ConfusedLlama · 20/05/2017 08:21

Could you use the money she paid you to get a courier? That way she has the cake and you don't need to drive.
I'm so sorry for your loss.

youarenotkiddingme · 20/05/2017 08:21

That's a long way to go for a cake that 'nothing special' anyway.

I'm very sorry to hear about your grandad.

I'd ring and explain and give her the option.

A) cancel with no charge
B) you finish and they collect
C) you finish and courier it (I'm assuming they were paying transport anyway?)

TheWitTank · 20/05/2017 08:22

It's incredibly easy to pick up a cake at short notice from a bakery or supermarket these days OP so don't stress about that -as you said it is fairly simple and is not the centre piece. No reasonable person would expect somebody to drive a 6-7 hour round trip a few hours after the death of a family member. Refund the money and say she can collect the cake as is if she would like.

Kokusai · 20/05/2017 08:22

Text her saying your grandad has died and you don't feel able to drive. Finish the decorating. Say you'll reruns her 100% and say if she likes she can come pick the cake up as well.

She would be mad to drive 6 hours on her party day to pick up a cake tho!

Dogsmom · 20/05/2017 08:23

Sorry to hear about your Grandad.

Be honest, if she's annoyed then it's her issue not yours, I'd be amazed if she was cross at all though.

She'll easily be able to get another cake today, it won't be home made but still good enough to stick a few candles on, I had mine from Morrisons and it was only about £12 for a huge chocolate one (and tasted bloody lovely)

Redhead17 · 20/05/2017 08:24

Sorry fir your loss

I'd just text her and explain

Flowers
Original poster
CaptainObviousTwo · 20/05/2017 08:24

I'm not sure a courier would travel so far. Its 125 miles. She paid £50 which is a fair price for the actual cake, I wasn't making anything on it because of the travel, but that was my problem for moving away after I'd agreed to do it so I was taking that on the nose and doing it to honour the deal really

OP posts:
kmc1111 · 20/05/2017 08:24

Not unreasonable at all. It's just a birthday cake, she can get another very easily. I'm amazed you were going to do a 6+ hour round trip to begin with. You certainly shouldn't do it now. Flowers

MrsBobDylan · 20/05/2017 08:25

Cancel the cake, don't give it another thought. I wouldn't ask anyone to drive 6 hours to deliver a cake bat an eyelid at a cancelled cake in your circumstances.

Don't allow yourself to feel guilty. Nothing to feel guilty for!

CuppaSarah · 20/05/2017 08:25

I'm so sorry for your loss.

It's absolutely fine to cancel if you've had a bereavement. Refund her and she can grab a shop cake. Just send something like:

Hi friend, I'm sorry to do this last minute, but I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to do the cake like I agreed. Sadly my lovely grandad unexpectedly passed away last night and I am in no state to make the cake and deliver it. I've already transferred your money back to your account so you can get something else with the money.

I'm really sorry to let you down. Captain x

GloGirl · 20/05/2017 08:26

It's only a cake. Text her and say

"I'm so sorry to let you down on your birthday, I'm really sorry but I have had some bad news. I'll send a refund through when I can."

I suspect you're finding it hard to right because you don't want to say so boldly what has happened, it hurts. I'm sorry for your loss Flowers

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