To use the disabled loo when I'm with my son?

[RestingBitch]

My sons 9 months and obviously still in his pushchair. The majority of the time it's just me and him when I go into town/visit places. When I need the loo I get an attack of conscious, I normally use the disabled loo so I can bring him in with me.
Can't use a regular loo as I can't get him in the cubicle in his chair. Don't want to take him out of his pushchair and plonk him on the floor as the floors are manky and he will eat whatever is on the floor. He'll also probably try and crawl under the gap and interrupt someone else. Don't really like the idea of leaving him in his pushchair whilst I nip in the cubicle, so providing there isn't someone waiting for the disabled loos, AIBU to use them? I'm usually in and out and so far I've never encountered anyone waiting for one, or the impatient rattle of the door. If I am being unreasonable, short of pissing myself what's the options?

Not a troll, and don't work for any newspapers :).

So many entitled twats here

It is not for "anyone who might need it " ffs

No wannabe, they don't use it because they think 'ha, fuck disabled people'. They use it because they don't think. Simple as that. It's free, they'll use it.
As for your comment about your baby taking precedence over me shitting myself, whilst I understand that you have anxiety, that's unfair. Let me explain what would happen if this happened to my dd, who is a wheelchair user.
Once she's wet herself, because you're in the loo, she will go in and somebody will help her get changed, but if she's been in the wet clothes for more than a couple of minutes, and let's face it, if you're changing nappies, having a wee, feeding, all of this takes a couple of minutes; then her skin will start ulcerating. So, she's damp, cold, humiliated and in pain. By the time she gets home, due to rubbing just from being bumped around in her chair and transfer from chair to car etc. She has fucking great blisters. They then go septic and we end up in hospital.

Me, I'm just an old woman that's shit myself, smells, is hoping my big knickers will hold it all, and who wants to get changed. I don't matter...

Use the end cubicle with the door open and the push chair facing you. Ideally there would be several cubicles, but there isnt always room.

Wannabe - I'm disabled and I wouldn't judge you at all. I'd even hold the door open to help you manoeuvre the pram more easily.

i would like to knoe how many times accident has happened to disabled person due to mother or father being in disabled toliet

Well, guess what, no-one stations researchers outside toilets cross-examining people about whether they've had accidents. But don't you think one wholly unnecessary accident in those circumstances is too many?

I have 2 under 2, can rarely even get in the women's toilets let alone a cubicle. This week alone I have used a council run public toilet, marks and Spencer, local leisure centre, and a cafe at stately home. All had the baby change in the disabled toilet.

Not really on topic, but I have to say as a disabled person myself, I have found most disabled loos are grotty with tissues and mess all over the floor. They don't seem to get the same attention from cleaners as the other toilets.

I only use them when I really have to,that is the usual toilets are up a flight of stairs (I'm not good on my legs). I also don't feel as 'secure' as I do in a normal cubicle, I always feel like someone's going to walk in! I can't explain it.

But, I completely understand that for a person in wheelchair, the disabled toilet is very well designed specifically for their needs and should be respected.

If its an accessible toilet then its ok. I don't really understand why changing tables are in the disabled loos in so many places. My refulxy ill baby puked all over himself once while pretty much simultaneously shitting all op his back and I took him into an accessible loo to change him did it as quickly as I could maybe took about 5 mins for a full clothing change and a quick wipe til we got home and a lady was waiting outside to shout at me when I got out Oddly enough the lady claimed not to even be disabled herself but apparently those loos are for the disabled and elderly only. She couldn't answer why the hell there was a baby changing table in there though, and even had a go at the cleaning staff who came round and wouldn't tell me off for it.

I have never used the disabled loo for a pee for myself though, even when I had the kids. And even now that I do actually have a disability even though I am allowed to do so now (and would be justified a hell of a lot of the time, trust me) as my disability is invisible and I would just have the same thing again at some point. I prefer to put myself through excess pain than have someone glaring and judging me tbh.

I find the comments about someones baby being 'nicked' to be rather unpleasant though. First time parents are sometimes a bit more anxious than others when it comes to leaving tiny children unattended I don't think sarcastic comments like that help at all.

I see the argument from both sides to be honest but haven't seen anyone answer the anxiety question, it has come up a few times most recently to beyond

So beyond I'm just curious what your answer to this is? I suffer from anxiety as well and would absolutely not be able to leave my child outside a cubicle even if the door was slightly open. My mind would be racing, I would break out in a sweat, become panicked and wouldn't even be able to pee as I would be so tense! Completely irrational, I know but hey ho that's mental health for you.

So why does your disability trump my mental health illness? My only option would be to quickly pee in the disabled toilet or simply not to go out. If it's a toddler that's different they can come and stand in the cubicle but as multiple posters have said they wouldn't be able to pee/clean/change sanpro with a baby in one arm.

Good morning folks, thanks to those who reported- we appreciate why this thread has concerned you.

Our difficulty is that these threads are seen by many as attempts to get answers to valid – if difficult – questions. Or they are the expression of that MNers' own, personal lived experience – and while we understand that threads like these must sometimes seem to lack understanding of the issues facing disabled people or the parents of disabled children, our instinct is to allow the questions to be asked or the experience to be related.

As you know our view is generally to err on the side of freedom of expression – but more importantly, in our experience the sledgehammer approach just doesn't work. Instead of changing views, it seems likely to make it almost impossible to discuss any subject relating to disability, whether closely or tangentially. We already hear pretty often from MNers who say that they're very anxious about posting on this issue (some are parents of disabled children themselves).

We know this probably is not the answer you're hoping for, but it's where we're at right now. We'll continue to discuss it carefully here. We really do want to do as well as we can at this, for everybody, and we know we don't get it right 100% of the time.

In the meantime please do make sure that, if you do get involved in discussions, you stay within the Talk Guidelines.

I appreciate this thread may be difficult for some to read but please don't ask for it to be removed.

Before threads like this I wouldn't think twice about quickly nipping in the disabled toilet with DD (who is now a toddler) for a quick pee, I never once thought about the situation it could potentially place another who genuinely needs the facility.

But now I can take DD in a cubicle with me as she's older and leave her stroller outside, yes it's a pain in the arse and so much easier/quicker to go in the disabled but reading these posts have made me realize I much rather the hassle than potentially cause another to have an accident.

So please don't report this thread as it has and can make a difference to people's attitudes.

Strawberry, severe anxiety is a disability. I understand that, I have GAD myself. I'm not talking about people who have a mental illness and no other way to cope, I'm talking about people who can cope by leaving their child outside and are using baby-snatchers as an excuse

The problem is the lack of facilities suitable for parents. I wish parents would campaign about this rather than arguing why they should use ours.

strawberry your post is very good. I think these threads do help people to see the complexity of this and are helpful.

I am uncomfortable with the idea that seems to permeate the thread that there are five categories

People who need assistance to pee
People in wheelchairs/ambulatory disabled
People who are incontinent/have additional needs like colostomy bags
People who have mental health problems
Parents

Many times these overlap. I am all five.

I've used them only if I am changing my child's nappy and they are the only place to do so. Although we now have "mothering rooms" so using the disabled is not needed.

If you aren't changing your son then I think you are being unreasonable to use them for yourself.

I've waited outside one to change my daughter (who has a hidden disability) slightly visible that something is wrong because she has an ng tube and a small hole in her throat.
I waited ages while the shit from her nappy covered her, out came a woman with a child who to me seemed fine (of course he may not have been) I won't lie I was fuming because they are for people who can't use a normal toilet space. My poor little girl was covered in shit and ended up being really sore. So yes you are unreasonable and only lucky that you haven't held someone up yet. I get the temptation though.

All views expressed are valid, I'm not sure why it is felt necessary to ask for the discussion to be removed ,

To the people who think it is it acceptable to take a baby into the accessible toilet could you please suggest an alternative that would not require the child to be sat on the floor or left outside the cubicle, when you need the loo and the toilet is a standard cubicle. Especially if the child is not old enough to stand?

These threads are always reported for deletion.

It's a shame because it shuts down discussion.

Emotions understandably run high, and of course there are always fuckers who are out to goad. It's not a very nice combination.

I don't think it's unreasonable when there's no other choice. A buggy won't fit in a lot of toilets and if you have a small baby what else can you reasonably do?

• *I appreciate this thread may be difficult for some to read but please don't ask for it to be removed.

Before threads like this I wouldn't think twice about quickly nipping in the disabled toilet with DD (who is now a toddler) for a quick pee, I never once thought about the situation it could potentially place another who genuinely needs the facility. **

I agree i didnt think i was being intiltled when i used them i think discussion i really important how is anyone able to change viewpoints if messages get deleated

I would argue where is the line between differing anxiety? As first time mum its awful

I suffer from anxiety that my poor child will shit themself. Because some entitled mummie with a snowflake uses facilities they've no right to be in.

My child suffers anxiety about shitting themself.

Let's play anxiety top trumps.

I don't think it's unreasonable when there's no other choice. A buggy won't fit in a lot of toilets and if you have a small baby what else can you reasonably do? Find another solution. One that doesn't make people without choices soil themselves. One that doesn't curtail a trip out. One that is fair to other people.

"Entitled mummy with a snowflake"
Its not nessacessy, i want disscussion on the issue not someone being condescending and rude to me
If u want someone to understand and change their view point being rude to them wont make that happen , however passionate u feel

*right not passionate