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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Please help.

61 replies

Chocolatefrogs · 19/05/2017 13:25

Regular user but have namechanged.

Please, please help.

I don't quite know how to put this, but I wanted to talk to someone about this.

Have had depression/anxiety symptoms for a very long time. Have seen doctor about this and receiving some support.

Recently however, it's spiralled a little bit and I've gone a bit downhill. I've been having nightmares and feeling very nervous/uneasy at night since hearing, as most people have, about the death of Ian Brady. Have kept bedroom light on at night in effort to get some sleep. Have lost appetite more or less, and have been sleeping very badly, if at all. Please help. I'll stop reading the papers for a bit - perhaps that will help.

Any further advice would be extremely welcome.

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 19/05/2017 13:28

Samaritans. They will let you talk and help you. Doctor? MH team (if you have one)

MyGastIsFlabbered · 19/05/2017 13:31

Hi Chocolate do you have a emergency contact number for MH services? Might be worth giving them a call if you have. Sorry I can't think of much else of help but don't want you to feel nobody is listening.

Original poster
Chocolatefrogs · 19/05/2017 13:50

Thank you Livia and MyGast Flowers Samaritans sounds like a very good idea. If anyone else is also around with support to offer, it would be very much appreciated.

OP posts:
rizlett · 19/05/2017 13:55

Please call samaritans op - they are so good.

Have you tried to write all your fears down - don't worry about getting them in a particular order - just keep writing and writing till you get to the end?

This helps me clear my head and remind me they are all only thoughts and that actually I control them not the other way around.

Iloverichtea · 19/05/2017 14:05

Feel for you chocolate - I am an anxiety sufferer myself so know what it's like to feel like your thoughts are controlling you.

Echo what PPs have said about Samaritans, also in the longer term CBT might help you like it does for me. Thinking of you Flowers

ShowMePotatoSalad · 19/05/2017 14:09
Flowers

Just wanted to offer support and echo what the other PPs have said. Samaritans are really good.

BooRadley35 · 19/05/2017 14:37

Try and get an appointment with your GP asap - I know this may be difficult on a Friday avo. There are lots of videos online (youtube etc) that can talk you through some mindfulness exercises or meditation. This could help with the anxiety and sleeping.

Original poster
Chocolatefrogs · 19/05/2017 15:08

Thank you so much everyone - your support is amazing Flowers

Oh god was so awful today. I've been invigilating exams - had a morning session and afternoon session. I bumped into an acquaintance in the exam centre, and acted like a bit of a zombie Blush was a bit embarrassing.

Had a break between the two sessions, so went out for a walk and to get something to eat. Didn't want to eat much, and on the walk back to the exam centre, felt very teary and nervous and cried a little bit. I think the feeling of not wanting to eat and not being able to sleep due to fear of nightmares is contributing to this.

Wasn't allowed a phone or laptop whilst invigilating (understandably), so took along a few things to read. Couldn't concentrate on them, even though I was enjoying one of the books I'd brought along, and found myself ruminating. Really struggled to stop myself from ruminating. I know it's not at all helpful to ruminate but don't know how to snap out of it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Chocolatefrogs · 19/05/2017 16:04

Any more advice please?

Will phone Samaritans tonight. Just would really like a good night's sleep.

OP posts:
Original poster
Chocolatefrogs · 19/05/2017 16:04

Any tips on stopping rumination would be very helpful too please.

OP posts:
ChildishGambino · 19/05/2017 16:07

Get something to do to occupy your mind - crosswords/word searches. Try and keep your head busy until you can speak to Samaritans or someone you trust Flowers

ChildishGambino · 19/05/2017 16:07

If you can't sleep and are over thinking audiobooks can be good too?

Original poster
Chocolatefrogs · 19/05/2017 20:51

Thanks Gambino - that's brilliant advice. I think keeping busy is just what was needed. I tried to tire myself out physically today, so have done a lot of walking, in the hope that I'll just go straight to sleep when I get to bed. Thank you so much. I haven't got any audiobooks, but will definitely get into buying some - fab idea :)

Thank you everyone FlowersFlowers You're all absolutely brilliant.

OP posts:
Original poster
Chocolatefrogs · 19/05/2017 20:54

Also riz your suggestion of writing my worries down is fantastic. Thank you. I always mean to do it, but never actually get around to it. Will do it tonight!

OP posts:
ednabuckett · 19/05/2017 21:04

I am no expert but about 4 years ago I made it my New Years resolution to quit the 'news' and papers. Best decision I ever made. I get to hear about the important stuff but miss out on the horrible unnecessary scaremongering bollocks manifesting itself as 'news'

Rogue1234 · 19/05/2017 21:12

I agree with Edna, I find my anxiety is much worse when "big" things happen and there is a lot of reporting about it. I have to let myself read the headlines but no more, and turn the radio/tv off when they start talking about the event. I've found I can still know about what's going on in the world, without the added anxiety of knowing all the specific details.

The suggestion of meditation is a good one as well. I have an app that talks you through guided meditations that I listen to before bed. The specific "sleep" meditations are good for me, I am often mostly asleep by the end or I am so focussed on the meditation that there is no room for me to worry.

I hope things start to improve for you soon, and you find the Samaritans helpful tonight Flowers

thatorchidmoment · 19/05/2017 21:16

Another vote for audiobooks here. I'm a big fan of PG Wodehouse, and there are some brilliant Jeeves and Wooster ones done by Richard Briers. If you enjoy crochet, cross stitch or knitting, that is something calming and 'productive' that you can occupy yourself with even while listening to an audiobook. A lot of people recommend adult colouring books as a way of relaxing.

I have never personally dealt with depression or anxiety other than transient feelings of grief, sadness or jitters before major exams. I have come across a lot of people struggling with mental health issues though, and I'm so glad you recognise you need help and are doing your best to access it.

Flowers for you, and I hope you find ways to look after yourself and get the support you need.

Original poster
Chocolatefrogs · 19/05/2017 21:17

That sounds like a great decision, edna - I'm so pleased it worked out so well! Every so often, I do get tempted to stop reading the news, but I love reading newspapers (online or printed newspapers) in general, especially on weekends with all of the supplements and magazines too.

In fact, this is terrible to admit on MN but I'm also a bit of a Mail Online addict. So much of the content on their website though (as everyone on here is all too aware!), is either not newsworthy, sensationalist, exploitative or just scaremongering (or all four at once!) Other newspapers have of course taken inspiration from that and included similar stories on their websites and print editions, which of course doesn't help general feelings of anxiety and depresion.

How do you get to hear what's in the news edna? Do you still have TV and radio news on?

OP posts:
thatorchidmoment · 19/05/2017 21:22

If worries are keeping you awake, might it also be helpful to write them down before you go to sleep? I've seen it suggested for people who feel their anxieties stop them sleeping, as it means you know you have written them down, so they are listed for you to consider in the morning. It's almost like parking them on paper can pause the worry and let you relax about it for the night.

Not sure if I'm explaining it properly, but it might be worth a try if your ruminations are troublesome at night.

Original poster
Chocolatefrogs · 19/05/2017 21:24

Thank you for your lovely messages Rogue and thatorchid FlowersFlowers

Your suggestion about reading the headlines is a really good one Rogue - thank you. I need to be more disciplined/have more self-control, I think (if that's the right word?) All too often, I'll read the headline and stupidly get sucked into the article, though I know that it's not going to be a good idea to read it.

And thatorchid - I love your Jeeves and Wooster suggestion!! I actually bought the Code of the Woosters last year, and have dipped into it but haven't finished it. And I remember thinking it was so funny! I don't rally laugh out loud when I'm reading, but with this, I was crying with laughter at some bits. I think it's just what I need. Thank you! What a great suggestion :)

You're all absolutely amazing Flowers

OP posts:
thatorchidmoment · 19/05/2017 21:34

I have frequently wept with laughter at Wodehouse. I promise the audiobooks are excellent! There are some full-length ones and some dramatised.

I hope you have people you can share your problems with in real life too. Sometimes a quiet slice of cake and a coffee with a friend can be very therapeutic.

I also have a crafty friend who has got very involved in creating things for our local neonatal unit. If you knit or crochet, look at the Facebook page Octopus for a Preemie (daft name I know!). Basically, little octopus shaped toys for premature babies has been shown to help keep them calm and have something to cuddle and fiddle with so they are less likely to pull out their wires and tubes. It's such a worthwhile thing to get into if you have the ability!

Hope you manage to get a good rest tonight. Mumsnet is a pretty supportive place when you need it.

yellowfrog · 19/05/2017 22:08

A hand-holding if you need it from another anxiety sufferer Flowers.

Trying to keep you mind busy is good if you can. I tend to think of anxiety as my brain being like a car stuck in gear. I want to turn it off, it wants to be turned off, but it's stuck, so try to occupy it with harmless things (how many round things can you see right now? How many vegetables have the letter e in them, etc) until it unsticks itself.

Remind yourself too that no matter how awful it feels in the moment, you're in no danger from feeling anxious (and I do know that it doesn't feel like that in the moment!), and it will pass.

If you've lost your appetite, try eating little and often, or treats you wouldn't normally eat. You'll feel a bit better with food inside you, and if it takes cakes to do that, then go for it :)

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 19/05/2017 22:16

I hate to be pernikerty - you aren't allowed to read either.

Wasn't allowed a phone or laptop whilst invigilating (understandably), so took along a few things to read.

Candidates would have a legitimate cause to complain if you were reading .

page 33,
13.1 - the invigilator must supervise the candidates at all times etc etc
13.2 - Invigilators must be vigilant at all times etc etc

file:/C:/Users/jenje/Downloads/ICE%2016-17.pdf

JamPasty · 19/05/2017 22:26

StillDrivingMeBonkers - ah come on, time and place!

Tapandgo · 19/05/2017 22:26

Can anyone recommend an Audio book suitable for a 24 year old lad suffering with similar anxiety and depression?

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