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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want our DS to sleep in our room forever and ever and ever ....

126 replies

blue2014 · 19/05/2017 13:02

Ok, I know I am BU (probably)

He's only 6 months and we have agreed to keep him in with us (crib next to bed) til he is one. But i think this might be entirely for me because I'm so so so smitten with him 💕.

I'm also already worrying and a little sad that in 6 months he won't be asleep at the side of me when I wake up but will instead be approximately 15 footsteps away in the next room Confused

I'm clearly a tad crazy. Please tell me why I should be moving him into his own room (or tell me not too, that's what my heart wants you to say!)

OP posts:
Jaxhog · 19/05/2017 14:28

Maybe you could let him sleep in his own room when he's 18 years old?!

Seriously, I'd wait until he is a year old. You may well feel differently then.

InDubiousBattle · 19/05/2017 14:28

I don't think there have been anylon negative posts have there? Most have just said what they did then to do as you please!

Cel982 · 19/05/2017 14:31

Meh. DD slept in our bed til she was three.

We had regular and very satisfactory sex in the spare room, thanks.

liz70 · 19/05/2017 14:33

What's a spare room?

DorotheaHomeAlone · 19/05/2017 14:37

Multivac Grin You took the words out of my mouth. I hope my children will eventually recover from the trauma of moving to their own rooms at around 6/7 months. They will just have to mzke their peace with being loved so much less than the children on this thread. Wink

JoandMax · 19/05/2017 14:38

DS1 slept with us occasionally until he was 2, we were very much he can come in if he wants to and we'll not worry. Since 2 he's slept brilliantly, never faffed at bedtime or come into us again.

So we did the same with DS2 thinking it'll last until around 2. We'll he's now 7 and still in our bed most nights! He can go through phases of starting the night in his own bed and wandering in around midnight which is fine. But we also have phases (currently in one) where he makes a huge drama each bedtime and I end up having to get in bed with him to fall asleep, creep out only for him to the wake up half hour later and it starts again until I just give up and go to bed. Much as I adore him it does get frustrating and wearing when sleep is bad and frankly we only have ourselves to blame!

Overall I'm glad we've done it this way but keeping them in with you does have some negatives as well as a lot of positives so make sure you think long term what impact it'll have and what you can accept.

elmo1980 · 19/05/2017 14:39

I would love to keep my ds in our room for ever too but at 4 months he's outgrown his moses basket already and no room for his cot in there so he's got to go into his nursery (nothing to do with snagging thanks).

I'm thinking of moving a single mattress in there for me to kip in...

2littlemoos · 19/05/2017 14:40

Sorry, not negative. I should have said sarcastic.

TheFirstMrsDV · 19/05/2017 14:42

All mine stayed with us until they were old enough to sleep in a big bed.

They were all good sleepers and went happily to their own room when the time was right.
I don't see the issue with keeping them in as long as you want really.

Tootootootoo · 19/05/2017 14:42

We are planning to 'do' DD's room for her second birthday...she still spends most of most nights in with me.

NewStateswoman · 19/05/2017 14:42

Jo can I ask a question please?

What are the overall positives you've all gained? It seems like you have a 7 year old who can't always sleep alone or well, and that's surely quite a bit negative.

I'm just interested in the pluses and minuses of the different approaches. I have a 7 year old too and it would do me in if I had to go through loads of hassle with her at bedtime or she wanted to sleep in our bed regularly.

yourcarisnotadiscovery · 19/05/2017 14:44

aw flapjackfairy you are not redundant, just will be needed in different ways. OP do as you feel fit; if he feels to little to be left then don't! My DS stayed in the same room as me/ExH until he was about 3 or 4. And then comes in with me sometimes in the night (now 6). Sweet, except he is kungfu king!

MrsKoala · 19/05/2017 14:45

You could be lucky like me and still have your almost 5yo and almost 3yo AND 7mo co sleep with you! Hmm

I do love them in there when they actually sleep but dh and i haven't had sex in 7 months and then it was once a month if that. Not necessarily because of the co sleeping - as there are other rooms available. But the fact they have to be next to us at all times, so we go to bed and get up together too. And go to the loo and bath together etc.

I can't imagine being able to sleep if they weren't next to me whereas other people say they couldn't sleep if they were. Everyone's different.

Wecks · 19/05/2017 14:47

Yes I remember sobbing when DS1 moved into his own room.
Twenty years ago.
Every milestone is bitter sweet. Pride and gratitude that they are growing up and learning tinged with (purely selfish) sadness that this stage has passed.
Sending them off to uni was the hardest.

DS2 was still a regular visitor to my bed at ten years old. I do miss that little body creeping in with me.

As to beds, I posted this on another thread. Get the DC double beds so that you can all be flexible. When DS2 was born DH went on with DS1 for about a year.

multivac · 19/05/2017 14:50

Sorry, not negative. I should have said sarcastic

Oh, that, I own. I'm very positive about it all, though. Smile

Bluntness100 · 19/05/2017 14:54

I moved mine at six months and for the first couple of weeks I had the baby monitor so loud it was like sleeping with darth vadar. I was panicky about moving her and kept sneaking in to check on her during the night. However I think they adjust very quickly to waking up in their own room if you do it at that age, and it causes less issues later. You also adjust quickly. You have to do what's right for you, your husband and your baby but there is benefits to doing it.

OneOfTheGrundys · 19/05/2017 14:54

Both my boys (8 and 10) love sleeping with us still. They are happy in their own rooms but if they are ill, super sad or just needing cuddles they make a beeline for the big bed. Luckily we both like it.

Don't feel pressed to do anything about this just because you think you should. He's still so small-do what you all enjoy.

OneOfTheGrundys · 19/05/2017 14:55

Ooh yes excellent idea re the double beds.

AHintOfStyle · 19/05/2017 14:58

Doesn't matter when you put them in their own rooms anyway, they spend the next few years developing stealth-ninja moves to get back in at 2am every night.
Keep him with you and save yourselves the hassle 😀

carameldecaflatte · 19/05/2017 15:23

DS slept in our room, in his toddler bed, until he was 4. We bought him a big mid-sleeper for his own room and he was perfectly happy there from night 1. It was right for us. Just do what feels right for you!

SirVixofVixHall · 19/05/2017 15:23

My dds only moved out of my bed when the smaller one was about 8. Sometimes I miss them! I like the peace though, and DH is happy to be back in the bed as he spent a couple of years either bunking down in their bed or trying to squash onto a mattress at the side of ours.

They come into my bed still sometimes if one of them is away (they share a room), or DH is away. Or when they aren't feeling well.

BlueSunGreenMoon · 19/05/2017 15:27

Wait and see how he and you are when he's one. You might find you all sleep much better separately. I think I'd sleep a lot better if my 3 year old would stay in her room!

ChildishGambino · 19/05/2017 15:31

Awww, me too OP

DoesHeWantToOrNot · 19/05/2017 15:36

DD has been in her own room since she was 6 weeks old and outgrew her moses basket. She is now 6 months and sleeping 9pm till 8am.

Original poster
blue2014 · 19/05/2017 15:52

Any particular reason for your knobby response @multivac? Did I, at any stage, accuse you of not loving your kids? Get a grip

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