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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - friends keep slating England!

66 replies

orangeflower11 · 19/05/2017 06:26

DH has friends who are really lovely people but they keep going on and on about how awful England is!

Part of the "motivation" is that they want us to move to where they are. But there are NO jobs - we've politely explained numerous times that our workplaces are filled with people from where they are who have moved.

But at first it was just how beautiful where they are is. It is but no more lovely than the English countryside. Then it was other random stuff. Then they somehow got the impression England is a vice filled den of crime and started going on about how we'd be safer where they are Hmm

It sounds like a non problem but it's really quite rude and I'm fed up of it! AIBU?

OP posts:
MyOtherProfile · 19/05/2017 06:29

Sounds lile they're trying to convince themselves theyre happy.

KoalaDownUnder · 19/05/2017 06:31

YABU. England is shit. Australia, for example, much better.

KIDDING!! I love England. They're rude gits. Google an obscure fact about something that sucks in their country, and throw it in their faces. Flowers

Lostwithinthehills · 19/05/2017 06:34

I don't blame you for feeling fed up about it. All you can do is tell them once and for all that they are entitled to their opinion but you strongly disagree with them and it's not a conversation you are going to engage in again. After that change the topic every time or just shut them down every time. You don't have to continually justify why you chose to live in England to your friends.

Spadequeen · 19/05/2017 06:34

Sounds like they're trying to convince themselves.

When they tell you how England is a den of vice and crime reply well that's not our experience, we are happy here and won't be moving.

Not that it really matters but out of general noseyness, where are they? Maybe we could come up with some less than desirable facts about where they live!

ooerrmissus · 19/05/2017 06:34

My inlaws live abroad. They have a tendency to ring and tell me how warm and sunny it is there when it's cold and raining in the UK.

I get my own back by telling them I'm going shopping to M&S for ready meals.

That shuts them up Grin

user46384885 · 19/05/2017 06:35

You need the old Mumsnet mantra. Head tilted on one side, ask them in all innocence 'did you mean to be so rude?'. And repeat every time the rude people are rude.

Original poster
orangeflower11 · 19/05/2017 06:36

Well, this is the thing: it's REALLY not all sunshine and roses where they are. Perhaps more significantly, it's not home. If (we won't be) we moved, we'd always be different. Always be the English family!

OP posts:
SallyGinnamon · 19/05/2017 06:39

Can you not draw up a secret list of problems with where they are and then trot out a counter argument for every one of their criticisms.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 19/05/2017 06:40

I've had similar from a friend. We were friends for years before she started coming out with A LOT of anti-English stuff. Lots of anti-English jokes and just general nasty things.

I didn't want to start an argument so I never said anything (but she was so proud of her country I know if I'd have ever said anything negative about it she would have gone off one one at me!); we just drifted apart.

She says she wants to come and stay with me every so often. I just politely decline.

highinthesky · 19/05/2017 06:40

Confirmation bias in action.

You couldn't shift me from England, I bloody love it! But I wouldn't say no to ROI or Scotland either,

Starlighter · 19/05/2017 06:44

YANBU, that's just rude. I have a friend who constantly puts down where I live, even though it's a very nice, sought after area! She just can't help making a dig, it really bugs me!

Tell them you are happy in England and (half) jokingly say you are very patriotic so won't hear a word against it! Cut them off with God Save the Queen as soon as they start!

somewhereovertherain · 19/05/2017 06:44

England is shit - full of self centred cunts who don't on whole care about society or taking responsibility.

Me me me. Fucking hate it. Brexit sums up the selfish failing shithole we live in.

Maybe I should get off the fence.

ISaySteadyOn · 19/05/2017 06:46

They do realise that sometimes people love England enough that they move there, right?

Like me. And I am very happy here and not going anywhere Smile

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 19/05/2017 06:46

somewhereovertherain There's always one Hmm Guess it's your turn today.

gamerwidow · 19/05/2017 06:51

It sounds like they're not enjoying it as much as they hoped and are lacking friends there.
It's a bit like the Stewart Lee routine about friends who move to 'the country'.
Just smile and nod and change the subject everytime until they get the message.

Original poster
orangeflower11 · 19/05/2017 06:52

I think that's how they see it, somewhere - truth be told I think their country is maybe as bad. But anyway what you or anybody thinks of England isn't the point.

OP posts:
Original poster
orangeflower11 · 19/05/2017 06:53

gamer they didn't move there, they grew up there, it's "their" country.

Although they are both in minimum wage jobs despite having degrees: you would think that would be a major indicator that the jobs front isn't all rosy!

OP posts:
LondonNicki · 19/05/2017 06:55

This is so common with expats in Australia - part of it is to justify their decision to move to themselves (but really, is it necessary) another part is they are quite insular when it comes to global news and media and seem to latch on to these random crime stories and believe that the country is going to hell in a handcart. Very strange.

Just say you're off to John Lewis for the afternoon for a bit of homewares browsing...

missyB1 · 19/05/2017 06:55

My in laws do this too, they live in South Africa, I wouldn't live there for all the tea in China! It is rude and really pisses me off.

LondonNicki · 19/05/2017 06:56

I've just seen that they're not expats. So have they spent time in England?

CountryCaterpillar · 19/05/2017 06:56

I found this with Australians!!

Original poster
orangeflower11 · 19/05/2017 06:57

No! One of them has an English mother but they've never lived here. Just got an impression.

OP posts:
ThisisMrsNicolaHicklin · 19/05/2017 06:57

They are being very rude. Tell them that they are being very rude. Stop being so British about it Grin

LaPharisienne · 19/05/2017 06:58

Maybe just explain you find it irritating - it's probably well meant.

Roussette · 19/05/2017 07:03

YANBU!!!

I hate hate hate it when people do this. I met some Australians on holiday, they were so bloody rude about the UK (despite never having been here!) I might feel the same about Australia, I'm just not rude enough to voice it.

Reminds me of my NDN who'd been living next to me 10 years quite happily. (It's lovely here!) They then decided to move 300 miles away to where they were born. Suddenly this place is shit, the weather is awful compared to up north (really?!) It really got on my nerves. Stop trying to justify your decision to me, I don't care.

Whatever we go through politically, I love England.

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