To think that these days it is so so hard for two people to stay together.

[hashtagcurious]

Exactly that really.

Marriage is hard. I love my husband very much and love our life together but it is so much harder these days don't you think...

Why do you think that ?

I mean why do you think it's harder these days ?

Harder than when?

No I don't think that. Convince me.

At least if you travel, work away etc it's much easy to connect with technology, can you imagine getting a letter by ship if your husband was in the forces

I've never lived in other times so how can I know if it's harder than before?

No idea, harder than when? we don't find marriage hard at all but what am I comparing it to?

I'd say YABU, if you are going to generalise to all marriages.

Do you have something going on that makes you feel your marriage is threatened?

different eras have different challenges.

It isn't harder to stay together now, it is easier to leave abusive, unhappy or just generally shit for other reasons, relationships now.

I don't think it is a bad thing.

No idea if it's harder but I don't find it difficult at all. Been together nearly 20 years and never occurred to us not to stay together

I guess I put a lot of emphasis on the timeline which was probably wrong. My parents arnt the best role models for a marriage euther. Maybe im having a bit of a down on yourself day. I've been with my hubby for 16yrs. Married 7 this year. It's not always been roses but I guess it would be boring otherwise. I am hiwever very happy. It was just a thought. Someone I'm very close too has had marriage issues recently. Wondered if the world though the same.

It's easier to get a divorce. That doesn't mean people are less happy.

I don't think so. All of my mums generation in her family ( and my fathers ,and my in laws family too!) were divorced by 35. Us current lot have no divorces yet!

Generally men are more involved in raising young kids now, so more supportive. Easier for women to have a life outside the home/work. Easier to stay in touch.

It's probably easier to cheat than ever before due to opportunity.

However there is a myth that the fifties or whenever was a golden age of marital happiness. It was less acceptable and financially possible to split up, that's all.

No.

It's just easier to get a divorce.

No, I don't think it's harder.

I think we have higher expectations of life quality these days- which isn't a particularly bad thing.

Life was pretty grim for many in days gone by.

Nope, I don't find marriage hard. We still like each other, give each other the space we need, spend a lot of time together as a couple/family and tolerate each other's failings.

Unless there are separate issues - for example children with SN, serious money issues etc, there is no reason why marriage should be hard, as long as both parties are prepared to make some effort.

I think it's easier. Counselling is more readily available, men are (in general) far more in touch with their feelings, women are (in general) treated with more respect, more emphasis is placed on actively working to keep a relationship happy and healthy etc etc. I guess there IS more opportunity to cheat what with mobile phones etc but other than that, I think it's easier. Statistically it's less likely but I suspect there were a LOT of very unhappy marriages back in the 50s - 70s!

No I think it is becoming harder again for people in abusive relationships to leave though.

bigchris. I wish! 6 weeks into an at least 9 monther and no contact yet - no call, letter, e-mail, Skype or smoke signal. Pesky Army and their random 'he's gone where?!' jobs.

I think it only seems harder 'these days', to me at least, because it's almost the norm to marry and separate at least once. I've been married 22 years and have seen a real change in attitudes to relationships in that time. Personally I can't be arsed with swapping and changing. And I quite like the absent auld bugger.

I think modern technology has a lot to answer for! My df reconnected with an old school friend 10 yrs ago and had an affair and left my dm, ok they could have bumped into each other in town I suppose but I do think there's a lot of relationships that have crumbled due to situations like this.

Well we're all living longer. Harder to stay in love with someone for 80 years than it is for 20. Maybe.

I agree marriage is hard, and is definitely easiest to leave than it used to be. Just means people don't spend their lives trapped in unhappy marriages though, not that the marriages are necessarily worse than they used to be. Expectations have definitely changed.

I don't find marriage hard - I love dh, love spending time with him. I think it's great that divorce is less stigmatised now, I pleaded with my parents to get divorced but they wouldn't - not the done thing - listening to their rows terrified me as a child, it was torture at times.