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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Non Binary / Gender Neutral

952 replies

MissBax · 17/05/2017 08:21

Okay so I know this may spark some serious debate. I just want to say that I really don't want to offend ANYONE, however AIBU to say that the whole non Binary trend (for want of a better word) is getting abit out of hand??
If someone was born a man and chooses to transition to a woman or vice versa I understand that, but to say you don't identify as having a gender... I just don't understand it?! I am female but have never been girly - I didn't have dolls, I despise pink, and I always played football with the guys, climbed trees and was very sporty. But I'm still a girl. I know boys who didn't necessarily like "boyish" things but they're still boys. Any girl or boy can like anything they like.
Now we have "non binary" people who SAY they don't identify as one gender or the other, yet some of them are born female, wear make up and dresses. So following typically "girly" or "feminine" characteristics. Or those who have a sex change and THEN say they're non binary?! So then why have the sex change?!
AIBU to think this is just another way to ruffle people's feathers and possibly attention seeking?
(I wait in anticipation for being called ignorant and a biggot etc...)

OP posts:
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Original poster
MissBax · 17/05/2017 16:26

alltouchedout "What pleasure and satisfaction do you lot get from being so hateful? So hurtful? What the hell is wrong with you that you genuinely think it is alright to be so unpleasant, so dismissive, so sneering? I genuinely don't understand why you think it is OK to be like this"
I would bet that all the people on here are very kind, accepting individuals. But we have to draw a line somewhere. It is quite far fetched and a bit silly. What do you think to everyone on here who said that they are not 100% feminine or masculine, that it's always been that way and there doesn't need to be a label for it, because it's just... being human!? What are you thoughts towards the 'otherkin' 'furry' stuff?

OP posts:
olderthanyouthink · 17/05/2017 16:26

Ffs beyond! A colleague just looked over my shoulder as I clicked that link Blush

stick I'm going to start a tumblr about being grey in a black and white world.

QuimJongUn · 17/05/2017 16:28

Some more tumblr otherkins

Non Binary / Gender Neutral
Non Binary / Gender Neutral
QuimJongUn · 17/05/2017 16:28

And on the topic of pronouns...

Non Binary / Gender Neutral
QuimJongUn · 17/05/2017 16:30

Transracial

ODFOD

Original poster
MissBax · 17/05/2017 16:46

Wow. Just wow.

OP posts:
sticklebrix · 17/05/2017 16:51

Quim Please, please tell me that's a joke.

MrsJayy · 17/05/2017 16:51

Oh dearie me tumblr still the place to be then

MrsJayy · 17/05/2017 16:53

What is skoll sexual i bloody need a lie down

nauticant · 17/05/2017 16:54

Since transracial is now becoming a thing I wonder what the relative amounts are of white to black transitions compared to black to white.

My instincts would be that there tends to be more white to black transitions (for whatever reason) but I'm happy to be corrected.

CricketRuntAndRashers · 17/05/2017 16:59

I think we might be heading towards a big backlash. Which actually really kind of scares me...

Because I really like the fact that our society is so accepting of lgbt people.

QuimJongUn · 17/05/2017 16:59

If only it were a joke, brix.

DD is at university and there are actually students - at a Russell Group university - who believe they're otherkin. And they have a non binary officer, who is constantly in the local paper/news telling us all we're prejudiced against people like 'xe' who don't conform to binary gender stereotypes. And then 'xe' tells us 'xe' wears MAC lipstick and halter tops when 'xe' feels 'girly' and a suit on 'xe''s more masculine days.

FUCK. OFF.

'Xe' is a middle class, white girl, btw.

CricketRuntAndRashers · 17/05/2017 17:00

Btw, are children really taught these things in school in the UK? Shock Hmm

user1487175389 · 17/05/2017 17:03

I think it's fine to say you don't identify as a gender. As long as you acknowledge that could be because gender is a steaming pile of horse shit, and don't try to kid anyone you're not biologically female when you obviously and permanently are.

olderthanyouthink · 17/05/2017 17:05

nauticant WTB to get black privilege... ageing better? Less sun burn and skin cancer? Whiter looking teeth?

They better pick their "flavour" of black and stick to it thought. No mixing Masai and Rasta.

QuimJongUn · 17/05/2017 17:05

*I think we might be heading towards a big backlash. Which actually really kind of scares me...

Because I really like the fact that our society is so accepting of lgbt people*

Precisely this.

All this pointless pigeonholing and labelling is self-destructive. Not only in that it runs people up the wrong way (and when it's running someone like me up the wrong way, you know it's gone too far). It's also the case that a lot of young people discovering who they are feel excluded from all the cliques and labels and expectations placed on them by their peers. It's suddenly not good enough to be a 16 year old lesbian. And god help you if you're a 16 year old lesbian who thinks all this is a load of old bollocks - you'll be in SJW Siberia.

nauticant · 17/05/2017 17:05

Have a look at this CricketRuntAndRashers:

www.transgendertrend.com/cps-schools-project-the-erasure-of-sex-and-the-silencing-of-girls/

QuimJongUn · 17/05/2017 17:07

Funny thing with the transracial thing is that these are the very same arseholes who decry 'cultural appropriation'. Don't be a white girl with cornrows unless you identify and live as a black woman. Apparently.

Lancelottie · 17/05/2017 17:09

For the few genuinely dysphoric individuals, I can imagine that that their problems will be trivialised amidst the mass of new superstarry genders, rather like people whose tidying instincts now make them 'a bit OCD, me'.

QuimJongUn · 17/05/2017 17:09

rubs people up the wrong way 😁

maddening · 17/05/2017 17:13

Too much naval gazing and self obsession imo

Bambambini · 17/05/2017 17:15

"Terfing no joke, I could probably only name two Pokemon. Maybe that means I'm out?"

So who are they targetting - young adults, children? Someone mentioned are they teaching these beliefs in schools? I've read their are organisations teaching these beliefs to schoolkids as truth and some of it sounds pretty disturbing, akin to manipulation if not brainwashing.

twelly · 17/05/2017 17:20

I don't think we need any new classifications, people are biologically born male or female (occasional biological exceptions), there is no need to add any more. There are I believe there are more important things such as poverty and disease to worry about.

Maxandrubyrubyandmax · 17/05/2017 17:21

It probably won't be mentioned in 30 years time!

QuimJongUn · 17/05/2017 17:21

Kids are certainly expected to respect the way other pupils self-identify, use the correct pronouns etc. As are teachers. A girl in DDs sixth form insisted the teachers referred to her as 'zey'. I wonder if the teachers forgot/refused to there would have been some kind of discrimination case to answer?

DHs work certainly insists on correct pronouns being used, and if they aren't it's a disciplinary matter. He's a manager and a union rep and he's encountered a few cases where this has happened.