I agree with M0stly that TERF has become a sex-specific insult for women not toeing a certain line and used a lot as silencing tactic. I've been quite frustrated within the last year how many organizations I've seen attack and had people threaten physical violence because of things like inviting people that a twitter-mob has decided is a TERF or Women's libraries have particular books available that have been labelled 'terfy'. Who does that help? Who does all these boxing and policing help? It isn't the the ones usually targetted with TERF - lesbian women. We've come full circle from the '70s with so many so-called 'queer' publications throwing butch women under the bus for their 'masculine privilege' and other BS like butch women aren't currently and have for decades been pushed to alter themselves. All I can see is people being hurt and silenced under all of this.
I know many women who take testosterone for medical reason and I know some trans men who take it and while testosterone increases sex drive, I've yet to see anything that suggests the kind of sexual predatory behaviour used to described 'trans women hopped up on testosterone' for any other group or used to excuse any other group. I am a woman with very odd hormones, I'm closer to the lower end of blokes than women my own age due to ovarian insufficency and other issues [I've been told hormonally I am intersex] and I am a bisexual woman with a strong preference for dating other women... and even at my most 'inappropriate' I do not pull the stuff described. I find excusing it just on testosterone ignores a lot of biological diversity which I would have thought was important.
Re: asexuality - while I agree it should be part of sex-ed, I think ensuring that it was okay for young people to know it can be normal and okay for people of any orientation to not want sex or to nor feel any attraction unless there is a strong connection [as with demis]. I think it is also important to note that in a heteronormative society, some of LGB people struggle to know when we're sexually attracted to others particularly when we're young - almost everyone I know has a 'I dismissed it for reasons' stories and some still struggle with it well after being out. It's far more complicated than whether it belongs under the 'umbrella' (ignoring that there is no singular LGBTI or queer or MOGAI or whatever community), but how we discuss what attraction means, the range of how it is experienced, how society and biology influences those. The split-attraction model which is quite old can be helpful for some but its blanket usage can be damaging as well - treating sexual and romantic attraction as completely separate feeds a whole host of homophobic and biphobic ideas.
I mean, I don't get why it should be assumed to be under "the umbrella" or why it is assumed that everyone who doesn't see it's place there is 'gate keeping', bisexuals aren't always under "the umbrella", many large organizations didn't include them well into the '90s and some into the '00s even with one of the 'Mothers of Pride', Brenda Howard who was a lifelong activist was openly bisexual. The movement to put everything as queer - like HuffPo having kink articles under "queer voices" or treating polyamory as queer, just why? Who does it help? For me, my being polyamorous is very important in discussing my experience and being open about my feelings and how I see the world & want to live my life...but it's not an orientation. I have had people give me a lot of shit for it which was hurtful and based on damaging stereotypes but...that doesn't make polyamory queer and making it so wouldn't help anyone.
The T is similarly new - and really, the whole thing of trans women and trans men having to be seen exactly as their 'cis' counterparts is historically very new as is the idea that everyone who has dysphoria about their bodies is trans. There is a lot of great writing particularly by butch women and femme men on the grey area throughout the last century. For much of even recent history, living safely was the goal with being treated as one wanted socially as the dream, I do not see how having 'gender identity' used in crime stats or health stats helps anyone nor having it legally protected to a higher point than sex. I cannot help but ask who it helps to push for misgendering someone to be a hate crime when misogyny isn't in the UK outside of Nottingham.
I used to be in a environment where questioning the 'trans women are women' was seen as blasphemy and the assumption that all movements should help all other movements was very much the rhetoric - it took my a long time that it was never followed by action. The women's bathrooms get changed but not the men's or fighting for more facilities, the women centre and shelters have to open up rather than fighting for own resources like many third+ gender groups in other cultures that are rebuilding from the violent destruction of colonization are doing, the treatment of Black women's movements by mainstream White feminist groups, disabled activist groups constantly having to defer and ensure able bodied groups aren't offended by pointing out most ableist abuse happens at the hands of our families and carers. I like there being more words to express ourselves and challenging how identities are maintained in society, I just don't think the push to have them enshrined in law and have to be validated by everyone really helps those who need it.
It isn't a hate crime for someone to tell me I'm not really disabled, it isn't as a female a hate crime for people to tell me I'm not really a woman if they hate my appearance or how I live my life (and one thing I see an awful lot on people targetting 'TERFs' is to misgender and call the women they target 'men' or 'manly'), but that is what people are pushing for here and in Canada and so on.
and loops, I'm not sure why you assume more men are sexually assaulted by women rather than raped by men. I don't think that matches the research I've seen though the differences in definition does cause problems with that. Also, the transmission of STDs is not equally shared by sex (this depends on the disease but most are more easily caught and have more consequences for women) nor is PTSD (women are more than twice as likely to have PTSD compared to men even when considering social reasons why men would be less likely to come forward for help). While all rape and sexual assault victims deserve the same level of care and consideration, and no one should judge any as less bad than another, you can't say any of the effects of rape are equal between sexes. Neither can you say what would be the most horrifying thing about it - that is subjective to the individual and the assault -- and I say that as someone who has had it happen to me both by men and by women - and having had PTSD already prior to the first time it happened. For some, that wait to find out if their rapist impregnated them is weeks of on-going torture and that's before we get to the mental issues for those who do become pregnant or reproductive coercion which can happen separate as well as alongside "corrective" rapes.