To think I win the batshit hen do game...?

[mynotsohumbleopinion]

Months ago friend asked if I would come on her hen do... cited then as a "cheap weekend in Europe". No problem says I! Well cheap isnt how I'd describe it now!

The hen do is in A well known party island. This weekend. Thurs to Sunday.And the costs have just spiralled.

We were told it was There months and months ago and asked to pay around £450 to the MOH for "accommodation and food etc". It was so far in advance that flights weren't even fully released by easyJet at the time, but she assured us it was pre-opening weekend so they'd be cheap. I've never been so why would I argue this? Flash forward another couple of months to when they are released - turns out that the cheapest return is 90 quid and only then if you go to stanstead at stupid o'clock in the morning, which nobody can really as we all live far from there... the only viable options for pretty much everyone were expensive airlines like ba. £250 later I had flights.

Most people did think that the £450 we paid MOH would be covering most things, so nobody complained really. It was only this week when we were sent the "itinerary" that it became clear how much incorrect assumption we had all made on that front... turns out that the £4500 she's had overall only pays for 3 nights in an airbnb villa not even close to town. I know we all
Should have asked but who on earth would think to?! And actually, I seem to be the only person who thinks this is actually stupid...

The list of costs we will now incur are as follows...:

-- Taxis from airport - 50 euros (we can share this if others are on our plane)
-- Taxis to the main town for each and every activity and meal.
-- All meals out other than breakfast and some snacks for thurs night.
-- Although the villa has a lovely pool, we will apparently be spending Friday at a beach club. Paying for the entry. Where we will have lunch at another cost. Then dinner I suppose. Oh and we are expected to chip in to buy the bride lunch that day at around 10 euro each (100 overall??!)
-- outdoor early evening club at a cost of 40 euro on Saturday and then a later club at a cost of 80 euro after that as it closes early. That's without any drinks or even a table.
-- no booze included at all so she wants us to pick it up duty free. There are no shops near the villa.
-- stupid dress codes for the Saturday which I haven't personally bought anything for but others have had to.
-- she wants us to contribute to a "hen survival box".

I'm broke and I haven't even got there... I'd love to pull out now but flights and accommodation alone mean I'm £700 down!

I win don't I? This is just ridiculous...

Weddingopinionsplease. Women for a meal and drinks sounds like a great hen night. Since when has an assorted group of women and alcohol ever resulted in a boring night.

I would be ashamed and embarrassed to think I had caused this much financial angst amongst my guests.

You could just go and not spend anymore than you have. Just go off and do your own thing cheaply. It's only a few days, who cares if she gets shitty, ditch her when you're home and the hell with the wedding as you arent close friends.

no booze included at all so she wants us to pick it up duty free

I realise the thread has moved on a lot since then but I have to point out: there's no duty free within the EU! So if you are going from the UK to Spain you can buy booze at the airport but it won't be any cheaper than anywhere else.

Have been reading this open-mouthed. MOH is either clueless or loaded, or both.

With the best will in the world, once you're there, with the sun shining, possibly a bit tipsy, and with pressure and excitement from the other hens I think your resolve to not spend money will weaken, and you'll end up spending WAY more than you think.

There's really no point going if you're going to be the curmudgeon sipping tap water in the corner. It's better just to not go. I would get the flights changed, and accept that the £450 for accommodation might be non-refundable.

Runaway FWIW I think the other attendees would be happy to chip in a quid for the Hen!

Just came on to point out the same as Eton...there is no duty free. Airport booze can be quite expensive - no cheap bottles of Pinot to be seen

This all sounds utterly horrific. You're in the middle of nowhere, needing taxis to get anywhere and there's been no thought about getting to a supermarket for soft drinks, mixers, snacks, etc?

C.A.N.C.E.L.

I agree Free, especially because they're planning to be out so much. But then, the second she said '£450 for the accommodation and food 'that would have been the end for me, I'd have backed out then and there. That's not my definition of a 'cheap weekend in Europe' when it doesn't even include flights.

There's that, too, Mackerel. Those flights are staggeringly expensive.

I refuse hen night invites now. The last one I went on was for SIL. Planned activities £100 meal in London £90. This was ofcourse fine. What enraged me was we had a drinks kitty held by MOH. We all put £50 in. I'd had 2 lemonades and suddenly the kitty had all been spent. The activities were shit, the food was luke warm and they were most expensive lemonades ive ever had in my life

I would have had to bow out at the £450 stage! I've been to some brilliant hen weekends, even one abroad which remains one of the best weekends of my life. But it was in a super cheap country so once the initial flights and accom were paid it was a really cheap weekend and it was with some awesome friends, no one vomited, we all had a laugh it was brilliant.
Mine was nearly 20 years ago and we did a weekend away so they aren't not that new an idea!
I do know someone recently invited to a stag WEEK in Vegas! There is definitely a line that needs to be drawn and it is way before that!

I would still go, but I would club together for a hire car for you and a coupe of your allies.

Then you can just join in with the 'at villa' bits and take yourself off in you car to check out beeches and cheap restaurants when the rest of them go to the beech club.

I wonder whether you could find a few accomplices to check out of the beach club with? It's madness to pay through the nose for a villa with a pool and then taxi out to a crazy-expensive beach club where you have to pay for a fucking deck chair; I'd send a group email saying, just as a heads-up, that funds are a bit tight and you're afraid you'll have to have a quiet day by the pool with your book whilst the others are doing . I'd be amazed if you didn't have half the party piling on saying they'll do the same, and even thick-skulled MOH might get the message.

Koukasi if she has allies that is inspired.

Can I just confess that I read the first few pages of this thread thinking "MOH" was "Mother of Hen" I was imagining some flashy overbearing mother, and only clocked when OP said they were going to be "MOHs to each other"

Motherfuckin' Organiser of Hen-do

We're going to Marbella on a hen do this weekend too. I started reading thinking "is this one of us?"

Don't forget your villa deposit, Ours is 400 euros. We'll get it back, but still.

Yes - go but spend time by villa pool and keep your euros for taxi and your vittles only.

But then, the second she said '£450 for the accommodation and food 'that would have been the end for me, I'd have backed out then and there. That's not my definition of a 'cheap weekend in Europe' when it doesn't even include flights.

I agree expat. I would not have agreed to go.

IMO, I think it would be worse if you go but try to back out of things while you're there. I think it's better to pull out now (and tell the MOH that you have decided you aren't going, not that you aren't sure you can go else you'll get your arm twisted). Better that people moan that you backed out late on than that you went and didn't join in which "ruined" it for everyone else.

I understand that you have already invested £450 plus £250 for flights OP - so £700 before you even start really - but I would pull out.

If your spending budget is £300 (which is perfectly reasonable in normal circumstances - still a £1000 weekend!) - then you are going to end up doing one of two things;

a) Staying in the villa, possibly alone, whilst everyone else is out and about doing things. You have to eat & drink something, and it sounds as though your £300 will just about cover that. This may sound like a good option because at least you get your sunshine & weekend in Ibiza, but it will no doubt cause ructions with the MOH & the bride who will probably spend most of the weekend moaning along the lines of "why did she bother coming if she wasn't going to participate?" Remember that both the MOH & the bride consider the costs involved to be reasonable .

b) Go along, participate in the planned events and end up spending an extra ££££££ that you don't have/can't afford. If you physically do not have access to any more than £300 - no credit cards, savings etc. - then you don't even have this option.

I wouldn't fancy either option TBH, so wouldn't go. I would definitely look into changing my flight to another date & using it for a genuinely cheap weekend break though! Yes, you can see it as losing £450, but you may end up losing more than that if you do go.

I just went to a hen weekend and I have another this weekend. First was to a barn conversion in Lincolnshire, £109 for two nights, £25 for food (£40 if you're drinking). It was beautiful, laid back, loved it.

This weekend is a couple of Forest Holidays lodges in Gloucestershire. £100 for two nights, about £20 for food. Perfect.

Hi if you now know who I am. waves

My own hen was a minibus to a vineyard, wine tasting and lunch, and an evening of old school sleepover fun.

OP putting aside Ibiza is my idea of hell, I would definitely make clear you intend to relax at the villa as much as possible.

I'd seriously suggest bailing now. Silly money! It's going to cost more than a family holiday for a week at this rate and at this time of year you're really not guaranteed hot temperatures anyway.

I'm not short of a bob or two but I wouldn't piss a grand on four days on a beach in May. I've got five days booked on a beach in late June (much better chance of getting the cardi off) and it only cost me 180 quid for flights transfers and hotel on Groupon :D

You can get beach holidays on BA for about £300 if you book ages in advance. May isnt peak holiday season either.

What was wrong with a nice hotel and inclusive flight.

If you don't have unlimited spending reserves I'd walk away now. An already expensive weekend sounds like it's about to turn into a colossally expensive weekend for no good reason.

You could use the money you save for a nice relaxing weekend elsewhere.