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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour constantly walking through my front garden.

767 replies

Light69 · 16/05/2017 06:41

I am not sure if my dh was being unreasonable for shouting at him this morning so here it goes. Not 100% sure if it is my neighbours eldest son or there daughters boy friend. He sleeps there most nights but doesn't appear to have house keys, I know this because he sits in his car at the bottom of my drive waiting to be let in. So he went through a stage of what ever side of the drive I parked in he would park directly behind me across the bottom of the drive blocking me in. This made it difficult to get off the drive as I was blocked in and had to kind of edge backwards and forwards to move the car to the otherside of the drive to reserve off it safely. We have a dropped kerb that runs the whole width of the drive but this didn't seem to bother him. I started reversing on to make it easier to pull off and out of the blue he stopped doing it. He has now moved on walking through our front garden to get to and from this car. So he comes out of their house steps over a small wall and walks right over my front door step and behind my car. He will push my kitchen windows in if they are open wide so he can fit behind the car easier then trotts off down the drive. On occasion if we have been leaving at the same time he has bumped into my dc or I have had to step back to stop him walking into me, I have asked him to stop but he doesn't. So this morning when dh was leaving for work he did it again and dh lost his temper and shouted at him and swore a bit, was dh in the wrong for this and how would you deal with the situation?

OP posts:
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14
HappyFlappy · 17/05/2017 15:23

I think you're dad will have broken the back of this "problem" by the time he leaves - you can put in spikes bushes, but as you have young children you would probably prefer not to.

Fake camera (or real ones) might be handy though to avoid any night-time revenge activities.

annielouise · 17/05/2017 15:31

Willow - the OP said her dad is going to be outside at 2.15 gardening presumably so he's around when this boy returns. No one plans their day at 9 in the morning to so exact a time so clearly the dad wants to be outside when the boy comes home. I think it's better they catch him in the act so they can come down heavier - i.e. be inside watching rather than outside as a deterrent. The dad can't be there every day to monitor this. That's why I said "I think your dad should be inside" - not to stop him going outside randomly the week he's staying there! Why would I suggest that for no reason?

The boy may or may not attempt to cross their garden today. He's more likely to do it if no one is there, although they'll be watching from inside, so it'll be clearer whether he's taken on board what the dad has said. It doesn't seem so to me. It's all very well the dad telling him off today. He can't be there all the time. Better to catch him in the act and ratchet up what you're going to do while the dad is there - as ex army he's far more scary than a pregnant woman, who will be the one having to deal with it next week when her mum and dad go home. Give him some rope to hang himself, as I said before. This boy is not a dog. You can't train him by nicely asking him each time he does it not to do it. He's obnoxious and aggressive and needs to feel some fear in return I think - that the police will be involved, that the dad is going to be severely pissed off if it continues, whatever.

annielouise · 17/05/2017 15:33

I agree with whoever said he'll be back doing it when your dad goes. I hope he lives close enough to come round easily.

Waltermittythesequel · 17/05/2017 15:36

Another fan of your dad here!

Although I agree, even a fake security camera would be good now because twat boy sounds the type to take petty revenge.

A bit of a derail but speaking of Miss Jolly, did OP ever come back and say if her dh was ok after the assault?

wonderingagain21 · 17/05/2017 15:36

I love your Dad.

HiggeldyPiggeldy · 17/05/2017 15:53

your dad is fab! I hope his talking to has got through to the little twat

MrsChopper · 17/05/2017 15:55

I wished I had a dad like yours Smile

Willow2017 · 17/05/2017 16:01

annie
Well her dad was there just out of sight and twit did obviously consider trying it and got caught. So we were both right Smile

burdog · 17/05/2017 16:02

I really, really don't get why TwatBoy is persisting in trying to cross the wall. He's got a weird grudge to persist in doing something that puts himself out.

Cuppaoftea · 17/05/2017 16:22

Really worrying that he was checking out your garden to see who was there before intending to trespass on your property again.

I am convinced this behaviour is directed at you OP. It's weird, creepy, aggressive.

Please consider contacting the Police with your DH when he returns along with your parents. Log everything that has happened so far and ask for advice on who to call if you find yourself home alone and he trespasses again.

This man, because he is a man not a boy, won't like your Dad taking the piss out of him and I'm concerned he may ratchet up his aggression towards you.

When it's getting to the point that you need your Dad or DH there to stop this man from trespassing and to feel safe on your own drive/in your garden then it's time to involve the authorities.

Kokusai · 17/05/2017 16:33

HE called you a petty bitch?

OMG you have to go round and tell the GFs parents!

ArseyTussle · 17/05/2017 16:34

Your dad is ace, glad he went all Full Metal Jacket on his ass. Although by your description of him clapping I do feel it was a missed opportunity for him to menace TwatBoy with the hedge trimmers.

Justmuddlingalong · 17/05/2017 16:40

Light69's DDad looks like this in my mind.

Neighbour constantly walking through my front garden.
Greyponcho · 17/05/2017 16:44

Grin at your dads fine choice of pisstaking phrase, OP

Cockadoodle · 17/05/2017 16:53

Love Army Dad. Down with weirdboy. Totally placemarking for an update tomorrow! Grin

NatashaRomanov · 17/05/2017 17:15

Your dad is awesome.
Hopefully weirdboy is getting the message!
And I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly.

OnionKnight · 17/05/2017 17:18

Why the fuck is the twat still trying to walk through the garden?!

mateysmum · 17/05/2017 17:24

Blocked exits seems to be a bit of a family speciality OP!

I am imagining your dad as a bit of a Clint Eastwood/Dirty Harry character. Any minute now he's going to say "Make my day, punk"!

Sparklyglitter · 17/05/2017 17:38

Best to try and avoid swearing but easier said than done let's face it! You've been way more patient than I would have been! Could you put a fence over the small wall stoping him walking through the garden? I would also speak to your neighbour this is totally unacceptable! Knocking your child, shutting your window for his convenience and blocking you in! I would not be happy!

susanboozan · 17/05/2017 17:40

Where did twat boy park today, did he block anyone in over the dropped kerb before doing reconnaissance for the hop over the fence, sorry big pots.

I need to know.

Blackadderspants · 17/05/2017 17:49

OP, your Dad is a complete hero!

SauvignonBlanche · 17/05/2017 17:54

Your Dad sounds great.

Mine would have loved a battle like this.

blankmind · 17/05/2017 17:56

OP, your amazing Dad could make a fortune sorting out impolite neighbours all over the country - even if he only worked for MNers Grin

So pleased the boy is learning his lesson!

DagenhamRoundhouse · 17/05/2017 17:57

Sounds like there might be a mental health issue here. This is not normal behaviour, even for a teenager!

Craigie · 17/05/2017 18:00

Choose to "wash your car" every time he ever walks in your garden. Getting whooshed by a bucket of freezing water that you were aiming at your car, on your property will soon put him off.