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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find vegans really annoying?

422 replies

seriouslynowdontbesoearnest · 16/05/2017 00:12

Just that really. I know a few and my god do they ever preach on and on about their coconut oil macha powder cacao powder chia seed energy balls and milk industry and calves being killed etc. It's the over earnestness and attitude that they are the most enlightened people to walk this planet that wind me up. It reminds me of being 18 again.

OP posts:
Doglikeafox · 17/05/2017 01:58

I think the biggest problem is that people genuinely don't know how wasteful, cruel and inhumane many aspects of the meat and dairy industry are. I'm a vegan but I would say 75% of my friends, colleagues etc don't even know. I've been vegan a while so talking about it isn't all that exciting.
When people do ask though, they are often shocked to hear about the environmental and health benefits of becoming vegan. I'm never pushy with it... I know people are far less likely to listen to me if they think I am preaching to them! I just wish people were more aware about what terms like 'free range' actually means, and on the environmental implications of eating meat.
Two of my best friends, my partner, my sister and my best friend's husband are all vegan because of me. Not because I forced the life style on them (well maybe my partner a bit!) but because they asked questions and were willing to learn, and once they were informed they chose to become vegan.
I have no problem with meat eaters, dairy eaters etc at all. Everyone can do whatever they want, but if I'm totally honest people who dissociative themselves from what they are eating do irritate me. (Although it isn't my place to say/do anything about that!)

JudeeLevinson · 17/05/2017 05:15

It's great that there are loads of vegans and more vegan products these days. I'm a meat eater with an aspiration to become vegan one day. I try to have a vegan lunch and have cut down loads on milk and cheese. I have a lot of food allergies and can't eat anything with refined sugar in it, and have had to give up alcohol. I'm going to get used to these changes and then have a proper crack at it. I was a veggie for 12 years but I was the mars bar and chips eating kind. I need to do better than that. I have found the three vegans I know to be very supportive of small changes I've made because I think they know it can rarely be done just overnight and still be sustainable. I will get there and they know it.

Crushing chicks is really messed up. The angst people feel about vegans is projection, because nobody in their right minds can possibly think this is ok. It is so far from ok.

LauraMipsum · 17/05/2017 08:29

Rockaby and MissBax I'm doing the same and I've just bought Dreena Burton's Plant Powered Families book. Honestly not a single dud recipe in there that I've tried whereas I found a couple of the FoK ones a bit on the bland side (and a swine, pardon the pun, to prepare) although good overall.

Doglikeafox · 17/05/2017 08:38

The angst people feel about vegans is projection, because nobody in their right minds can possibly think this is ok. It is so far from ok.
I tend to agree with this. People become defensive and ready for a fight at the mere mention of the world. Possibly because there are many aspects of the meat and dairy industry that cannot be condoned?

Doglikeafox · 17/05/2017 08:38

Of the word*

Gwenhwyfar · 17/05/2017 08:48

I'm a former vegetarian, but I have to agree with you about many of the vegans around at the moment. The ones I know do their preaching on Facebook and are fine in real life, though.

Cheepandorm · 17/05/2017 08:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CakeAhoy · 17/05/2017 08:51

If you can handle a little swearing the 'thug kitchen' cook books are great too.

Dh is not vegan but once he tried their 'BBQ bean burritos' he wanted it added to our weekly menu Grin

I bought them on recommendation from here, I haven't used a recipe yet that the family haven't liked. (Though half of the recipes Dh and dc add meat or cheese to)

Not quite as calorie friendly as the China study books but I found I get filled up quicker so have a smaller portions anyway,

perhapsiwill · 17/05/2017 08:54

Funny how on these threads the meat eaters always eat high quality meat that they know the origin of etc. None of them get a curry or a sausage roll etc

CakeAhoy · 17/05/2017 08:56

I find the most people that get most irate at the word 'vegan' tend to be people who would rather not think at all about where their food is coming from, and resent your existence as they think it means they might have to.

I'm not talking about if people being preached at, everyone hates that.

I mean the few people who get truly venomous if they even manage to sniff out the fact you are vegan (not hard with all the beans Grin)

JudeeLevinson · 17/05/2017 09:02

Yes to the venom. I got a lot of venom just being a vegetarian and I kept it to myself for the most part. "Oh then, what about your watch strap and boots and I bet you love a glass of milk don't you, what about that?" I was like jeez, I am 15 and get my shoes bought for me, no choice, just doing what I can. A lot of vegan preaching is actually vegans in self defence because meat eaters sniff them out, as you say and go on the attack. The ones I know don't say a blinking word, bless them.

Clandestino · 17/05/2017 09:03

I tend to agree with this. People become defensive and ready for a fight at the mere mention of the world. Possibly because there are many aspects of the meat and dairy industry that cannot be condoned?

I am not defensive about me eating dairy or meat. I love my steak, I love proper ice-cream and chocolate where milk is involved. I think using honey in cakes adds more taste and I couldn't imagine my life without nice scrambled eggs or my favourite pasta with Parmesan. I respect vegans as long as they respect my choices and don't push their lifestyle down my throat.

InMemoryOfSleep · 17/05/2017 09:07

Followed this thread with interest, but I'm just absolutely Shock that @kimonolady and others have compared being vegan to being black, gay, or female... one is a lifestyle choice, the others are decidedly not (unless you're Rachel Dolezal) Confused

JudeeLevinson · 17/05/2017 09:09

Thug Kitchen rules, CakeAhoy :)

Natsku · 17/05/2017 09:11

perhapsiwill thanks to coeliac disease I can't just grab a sausage roll and generally have to cook my meals from scratch so for the most part the meat I eat is the highest quality I can get (I do buy sausages, only ones with Finnish meat but don't know what farms they come from) but of course I eat in restaurants where I can't know where the meat comes from and whether or not its high quality. I don't eat out often though except for my friends' Sri Lankan restaurant, their meat must come from a halal slaughter house but that's the extent I know about it, I prefer their lentil curry though anyway.

Cheepandorm · 17/05/2017 09:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rockaby · 17/05/2017 09:30

Cake

Yes, thanks, I love TK books! I have two of them and can handle the swearing, (being rather sweary myself).

user1487175389 · 17/05/2017 09:47

I used to kid myself about the higher welfare standards BS too. Actually, when you open your eyes you realise it still means cramped pens, lack of daylight, rape, torture, heartbreak and routine brutality and terror in the slaughterhouse. Now if you're anything like I was, you'll dismiss what I've just said as hyperbole. So don't take my word for it, look into the facts for yourself. I also have at least one child whos incredibly fussy. My solution is not to force veganism on the dcs. Ive made a personal choice and they can carry on choosing what to eat as they grow older.

CakeAhoy · 17/05/2017 09:53

Yes I visited the sites by actual farmers to see if all the things I'd been told (by a vegan friend that I had questioned as I was curious) were true.

They are, the farmers sites just use 'nicer' language to confirm the same things.

InMemoryOfSleep · 17/05/2017 10:00

Actual farmers eh?! Confused Well my PILs are actual farmers and I can assure you that none of the above mentioned goes on - they farm free range sheep and cattle, who live outdoors and are fed an organic diet. No cramped pens, lack of daylight, torture, etc etc. I agree that killing something is never pretty, and unfortunately that is the reality of life. However it's wrong to say that higher welfare is BS, and as for rape?! Are you kidding me?!

blerp · 17/05/2017 10:01

What if your eyes are already open, and you eat meat in the full understanding that an animal gave its life for it, and that it will have looked messy and brutal? What if the grim reality wouldn't smash some fairy tale bubble they are living in because it did for you?

This idea that other people disagree with you just because they don't have their eyes open or need educating seems very common to first world problems.

CoteDAzur · 17/05/2017 10:20

LOL @ rape Grin As opposed to normal bovine sexual relations where bulls habitually obtain consent from cows, you mean?

Lightship · 17/05/2017 10:22

I don't to around telling vegetarians etc that while not intelligent in the sense animals are, plants are alive and kept alive while we chop and cook them. Salad is still alive when you are eating it

Bully for you, cheep, but if I had a pound for everyone who has chirped, with a big, elbow-in-the-ribs, Ho-ho, here's something you'll never have heard before expression, 'Oh, that carrot felt PAIN when it was pulled up!' I'd be rich.

The OP has clearly met some tiresome food bore vegans, but to be perfectly honest, I've been vegetarian for my entire adult life, know a lot of vegetarians and vegans in several countries, and I don't think I know one who ever talks about what they eat (apart from in the most strictly 'need to know' sense, if someone new invites you for dinner) because of the predictable responses.

The other main strand of responses, apart from defensive chippiness from people who worry about carrot welfare, is puzzlement that I am not actually bursting into tears at the sight of them sitting across the table eating a steak, while whimpering about the cow that died for their meal. Those are the people who think all vegetarians are sentimental anthropomorphising animal lovers who think of farm animals as fluffy ickle kittens.

Deal with the fact that people think your food choices are morally wrong. I used to regularly see (she was a friend's granny) an elderly Jain who was horrified by the fact I ate root vegetables. She didn't preach (mostly, I suspect because we didn't share a language, really!), but she looked deeply wounded.

Diet bores (in the weight-loss sense) are far more widespread than vegetarian or vegan food bores, but seem far more tolerated.

anon1987 · 17/05/2017 10:24

There are such thing as higher welfare.
The whole of one side of my family are farmers, I can assure you they are as high welfare as you can get with farming.

Kokusai · 17/05/2017 10:28

cramped pens, lack of daylight, rape, torture, heartbreak and routine brutality and terror in the slaughterhouse

Now that is a bit hysterical. Rape? I wasn't aware animals had the capacity for consent. Much of 'natural' animal mating looks like rape to me.