To be fucking sick of ginger hair comments?

[BlurryFace]

My 2 DSs are both under school age and ever since their hair came in I get to hear comments on it from strangers. Sometimes its complimentary, other times it's tuff like "ooh he's going to hate his hair when he's older bless him" or "he's going to get picked on with that hair".

It doesn't ruin my day or anything, I just think "get some social skills you twat" while going 'mmm, really'. I am ginger for Christ's sake, so even if it goes over the boys' heads I can fucking understand it. When I was pregnant with DS1 SIL (who I like) said "oh DH, wouldn't it be funny if you two had a ginger kid? Oh no offense, BlurryFace."

I just feel sick of shrugging off ginger this, ginger that comments. I've been doing it for 20+ years, my own mother has said she thought it a shame I was ginger when I was born. I got all the ginger pubes (what other colour would my pubes be, dumb fuck?) comments at school, but everyone hated me anyway, it was just bonus ammo.

Next time I think I'm going to ask if the person who thinks my kids will hate their hair hate their own nose/jaw/body shape.

[pallasathena]

Redheads always have the most amazing skin too. Very envious of their porcelain beauty.

[ALemonyPea]

I have three DC. The older two have ginger hair and the youngest is brunette but longs to be ginger just like his brothers. His favourite dress up item was a ginger wig.

I've had 14 years of ginger comments now, some nice some awful. I once got asked if they were my DC as I have dark hair.

I walked out of a barbers as I was waiting with them to get their hair cut and the barber and the bloke getting his hair cut were saying how horrible a colour it was and how the bloke getting his hair done dyes his ginger hair blonde as he can't score with that hair colour. Don't need that negativity.

They've never been bullied at school about it, apart from one time with DS1 in Y4 and I sharp had a word with the child's mother who sorted it.

[Gah81]

I have long red curly BIG hair - it's become a bit darker as I've got older, but it was always commented upon at school (didn't help that I was a scholarship kid at a v.posh private girls' school).

But things do get better. Since I turned about 16 and learned how to tame the frizz, I receive compliments on it daily (literally). Men, including and especially my DP, adore it (not that that is in itself a reason to like anything but it is nice :) ) and it's become my style signature. It helps me to stand out in the (old-male-dominated) workplace and life generally and I love it.

So FWIW please do reassure your kids from me: chances are they are going to love having ginger hair when they are older.

[AdoraBell]

I would be telling all these commenting people that having ginger hair is better than having a shallow personality.

My late father was ginger, my hair is auburn as is DD1. It took until she was 12 for me to let go of all the comments I had growing and stop saying I was a brunette.

[QuietNameChange]

Btw, I agree, it is a British thing imo.

I'm from central Europe and whilst several generations ago some did believe that red hair was a sign of sorcery... That's so long ago that it's honestly not relevant today anymore. I mean, they also thought freckles were a sign of witchcraft etc, so....

Not even my extremely devout great-grandmother had any negative opinions about red hair.

[professorvape]

My DC3 is the gingerest ginger ever. He's 3, and it's quite long now too, down past his shoulders. Never had anything but positive comments though, and frequently get stopped in the street / shops by people admiring his hair, although I wouldn't hold back in the slightest if people were rude about it ginger hair seems to be very fashionable at the moment!

[theshitcollector]

I've got red hair, but my DC haven't.

Throughout my childhood I got teased about it. I can't remember any teacher etc ever challenging anyone for making comments about it. Early teenage years were the worst- lots of questions/comments about pubic hair. I started to like my hair colour in my late teens when I realised that it made me stand out from the crowd (which by then I considered a good thing) and noticed all the beautiful red heads in films.

I am constantly appalled at how comments about 'gingers' are widely deemed to be acceptable when other comments on appearance/hair colour would not be. I am also amazed that, despite being a 'ginger' myself people expect me to join in with these comments. For example- discussion in a (professional and multi-cultural) office about whether colleagues would ever date 'a ginger', discussion at a mother and baby group about how late 'gingerness' can manifest itself (mums keen to be informed that they were safe as their babies seemed to be blonde).

I have previously tried calling these comments out as a form of racism and have been told that I am racist myself for doing so. I would never claim that teasing and name calling for my hair colour is as bad as the deep routed racism suffered by many non-white people throughout the world, but surely that doesn't mean that it's OK!

I once worked with a woman (in her late 20s at the time) who told me that she was so badly bullied about having red hair that the day she left school she dyed her hair, eyebrows etc so that no-one she worked with needed to know. Apparently she was genuinely scared that when the situation first became obvious to her DP he would dump her, and even considered bleaching her pubic hair.

As a positive, I am now reaching the age where most of my friends have started to go quite grey. My (previously bright ginger) hair has just faded to a strawberry blonde. My hairdresser informs me that this is what happens to gingers.

[Spudlet]

DS has inherited my hair, when he was a very little baby and I had PND I used to cry and tell him how sorry I was. I think his hair is beautiful and actually, when I'm not depressed (!) I rather like mine. But I fear he will be picked on for it, just like I was. YANBU op, it is shite.

[juneau]

Well I think ginger hair is lovely. I have three ginger nieces and actually had a bit of a thing about blokes with ginger hair when I was younger. Gingers are cool (and people that say rude, nasty things to ANYONE about their appearance are shit!)

[spiderlight]

My DS has ginger hair and has always loved it. It's what I'd call 'strawberry blonde' now as it's lightened with age and has lots of very fair streaks in it, but if anyone calls it that, they get a very firm 'No - it's ginger!' He's never had anything but compliments on it so far, although he has recently (aged 10) started to say that he wants dark hair like all the 'cool kids' - only because most of his friends are very dark. He said it the other day walking home from school and about half a dozen mums went 'Nooooo!'

[Areyoufree]

I had men asking me about the colour of my pubes from the age of about 13/14. Not boys, grown men. Somehow this was deemed acceptable, and if I didn't like it, then I obviously couldn't take a joke. I am going to teach my kids to not put up with that kind of shit.

[UsedToBeAPaxmanFan]

I have grey red hair, as does ds1. Our hair is dark red and we both have brown eyes. We also have very pale skin but no freckles. So auburn rather than ginger.

I cannot believe the negative portrayal of ginger/red hair in UK society. As someone else said, it wouldn't be tolerated if it was comments about skin colour or ethnicity.

When ds1 was little we did get compliments about his hair color as well as criticism. But we got more negative than positive comments. I used to ignore them but did get pissed off one day with a stranger who leaned into his pram and then said to me "Poor little mite, are you very disappointed with his hair? " to which I said "no, the thing were really worried about is if he grows up into the sort of person who comes up to strangers and is rude about their babies. That would be awful"

Ds2 has dark hair but his girlfriend has beautiful curly ginger hair. She is stunning.

[amusedbush]

if it's curly I'm running my fingers through it

I have curly hair and if anyone tried to run their fingers through it, they would be sharply reprimanded. It takes an hour and SO MUCH PRODUCT to get my hair to look the way it does. Even DH has had his hand slapped away!

[Pettywoman]

I absolutely don't understand the issue with red hair. I think it is a beautiful colour. These people are twats, sadly there are lots of twats about.

[QuietNameChange]

stitch

She's adorable! That's a really pretty haircolour :)

[Ladycocobrazil]

It's jealousy. Ginger hair is beautiful. People who make negative comments are twats.

[QuietNameChange]

spudlet

Would he really be picked on nowadays?


My DH's godchild says she has red hair like Fred and George Weasley...

[Bibbitybobbitybollocks]

YADNBU OP.
Absolutely fed up of ginger jokes /insults. DP is ginger and my bf's DH thinks his ginger jokes are hilaaarious .
They're not, they're downright bloody offensive .
I often wonder if (bf or her DH) would think it acceptable if someone made that kind of joke about my skin colour as I can't help that nor would I change it if I could anymore than DP can.
I was rather hoping our DD would have a crop of brilliant fiery red curls but no, she got my curls with dark blond colouring.

[LittleMisslikestobebythesea]

I'm a natural redhead but hate it as I still get negative comments, mainly they were off my charming ex, though of course it was just 'banter'

There is still a lot of negativity unfortunately, though people ask me if it's my natural colour sometimes as they love it, but years of stigma is hard to ignore.

[stitchglitched]

Thank you Quiet. She is also very fiery, living up to the stereotype!

[yellowfrog]

I used to have naturally blonde hair - never a fecking mention of it by anyone. Dyed it red and the compliments poured in! Red hair rocks!

[badabing36]

nonibaloni

I touch someone's Afro hair now. I didn't realise till I asked to touch someone's Afro hair in a club as a student (and got a massive bollocking) that it's a pretty predjudiced thing to do.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=kYqcBahPxsw

[badabing36]

I wouldn't* touch

[phoenixtherabbit]

What also annoys me is that dps best friend is also ginger and that seems to attract a lot of 'are you sure he's yours dp and and not best friends'

Erm yes thanks we are both quite sure!