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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a years unpaid carers leave and 2 weeks bereavement leave

97 replies

PlayOnWurtz · 15/05/2017 07:29

Are great ideas but wonder how much it will cost and whether businesses will actually implement them?

OP posts:
luckylucky24 · 15/05/2017 07:41

Great in principle but I think people would take the piss and it wouldn't work for businesses at all. How do you decide what who is bereaved enough for 2 weeks off. In case of a parent death then absolutely...but an uncle? Probably not. Who decides?

Original poster
PlayOnWurtz · 15/05/2017 07:48

I think the bereavement leave is specifically for child bereavement

OP posts:
PovertyPain · 15/05/2017 07:56

I think it's disgusting that there is a suggestion of one 'type' of grief being more important than another.

RedBugMug · 15/05/2017 07:59

I think it's disgusting that empoyees, especially women, will then be even more expected to care for relatives.

Hidinginplain · 15/05/2017 08:00

How sick is sick enough?

BollardDodger · 15/05/2017 08:01

If employers were reasonable in the first place, there would be no need for these laws to be brought in.

Timeforabiscuit · 15/05/2017 08:01

This is propping up a failing system, a years unpaid leave is just raising the expectation that family need to take unpaid, and increasing unrecognised, caring responsibilities - if its of value then it should be paid.

pigeondujour · 15/05/2017 08:02

Aye brilliant. A year off unpaid for caring where you don't qualify for ESA because you're employed. Very compassionate.

Timeforabiscuit · 15/05/2017 08:03

Two weeks Sad as if that even touches the sides, i think that good employers recognise the complexities around grief and work to support employees - I can see the sports direct types just dodging a way round it.

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 15/05/2017 08:19

I imagine it will be a minimum, to stop awful employers getting away with giving nothing.
Good employers will give more, as they would have outside these legal obligations anyway.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 15/05/2017 08:20

I think the bereavement leave is specifically for child bereavement

That's not fair. Often when adults die there is grief accompanied by a while heap of bureaucracy that can take a lot of time to deal with.

Mulledwine1 · 15/05/2017 08:26

True, but I think you just need to take time off to deal with the practical stuff like clearing a house, sorting out probate or whatever. I work part-time, so I had time to deal with things when my father died, but if I'd been full-time there's no doubt I'd have needed to take annual leave.

BluePeppers · 15/05/2017 08:26

It won't be a minimum. This will the norm.
So companies who were more lenient now have a good reason to saybthatbtwo weeks is enough.
Great. Because you know, when you've lost a child. Wo weeks later years unwill be able to work agai as if nothing had happened....

What it is is the start if the deregulation and the loss of protection for workers in the uk.please listen up people. The government is telling you what's important in their eyes.....

OCSockOrphanage · 15/05/2017 08:27

What about the effects on businesses, who have to continue to trade, possibly without key people? How does a small business in a very specialist sector manage without an expert who has decided on a whim that they need a year off to care or grieve? All very well for large employers who can mix it up a bit and have a few people ready to step up, but that's not real life for micro-businesses, which represent the largest percentage of jobs in the UK.

WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 15/05/2017 08:30

When my husband died I was signed off work by my GP as I was not fit for work. I think this is quite common.

mousymary · 15/05/2017 08:30

I think as with all jobs there will be some piss takers and some who can't take the leave because they're fearful of finding someone else's jacket on their chair when they get back. Perhaps as usual the public sector can support people taking this leave, but what about a very small business?

It's really though a how long is a piece of string situation. When mil died she had had dementia for years and so when she actually died... it was more of an administrative situation since it was as if she had been dead for years already. When my df died it was quite sudden and I was poleaxed. My nice workplace gave me one bereavement day (my considerate father died on a bank holiday weekend so I'd had three days off) and then docked my pay for the day I was actually at the funeral. They did not retain my services much longer.

WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 15/05/2017 08:31

You don't decide 'on a whim' to take time off to care or grieve Shock

YetAnotherSpartacus · 15/05/2017 08:31

True, but I think you just need to take time off to deal with the practical stuff like clearing a house, sorting out probate or whatever. I work part-time, so I had time to deal with things when my father died, but if I'd been full-time there's no doubt I'd have needed to take annual leave

In many cases people don't have any annual leave left - they have used it already caring for the person. Also - often a break is needed in order to deal with the grief (I mean the annual leave). It is discriminatory to limit it to children only!

Blueroses99 · 15/05/2017 08:32

I had 7 weeks off when I lost my son last year - if a post mortem is required, the funeral won't be held within 2 weeks. It would not be unusual for a parent to need several months before they feel ready to return to work after a child bereavement, so I'm not sure how 2 weeks helps?

prettywhiteguitar · 15/05/2017 08:35

It's a plaster policy, it looks like the torys 'care'.

It would be more use if they got rid of zero hours contracts

YetAnotherSpartacus · 15/05/2017 08:35

My nice workplace gave me one bereavement day (my considerate father died on a bank holiday weekend so I'd had three days off) and then docked my pay for the day I was actually at the funeral. They did not retain my services much longer

Jesus! Flowers. Mine were outwardly sympathetic (take as much leave as you need!) whilst ignoring the fact that I had no leave left and also doing nothing to allocate my work while I was away (so even with the short time I took off it was massively disruptive). I was then publicly chastised for forgetting things (i was mourning and also had two viral illnesses in quick succession, neitehr of which I took time off for) and bullied to work faster to catch up.

tiggytape · 15/05/2017 08:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Antiopa12 · 15/05/2017 08:43

I think a year off to care for a relative when a major crisis hits is a good idea and will give some families more options and time to arrange the future care of a disabled relative. T he reality however will be that families will be shocked at the level of Carers Allowance, will take some time to be able to claim it, will have to live off their savings and not be eligible for universal credit, their mortgage payments will be at risk with the drop in income and they will start the slide down into poverty that comes with any long term disability. The person taking the leave is very likely to be a woman even if her male partner earns less than her. I do see it being a good thing for those who have a terminally ill family member as it at least keeps your job open for you and allows you to spend more time with a loved one .

ElinoristhenewEnid · 15/05/2017 08:43

Trouble is i can see this 2 weeks becoming the benchmark for bereavement leave rather than a safety net for people; in the same way as the minimum wage has become the norm rather than the minimum.

OCSockOrphanage · 15/05/2017 08:47

Apologies for suggesting that taking leave might be whimsical... Clearly it would be in response to a dreadful set of circumstances.

However, that doesn't make it any simpler for the employer to keep going without a key individual's presence and work. One of our staff had to take a lot of additional leave (months) to care for a spouse who needed several major operations over a two year period, far in excess of the six weeks annual entitlement. It was all managed on full pay may I add but it was tough on all those taking up the slack who were doing their own work plus the absentee's.