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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think a years unpaid carers leave and 2 weeks bereavement leave

97 replies

PlayOnWurtz · 15/05/2017 07:29

Are great ideas but wonder how much it will cost and whether businesses will actually implement them?

OP posts:
Antiopa12 · 15/05/2017 09:56

It's not just working for no money , it's working for no occupational pension. Those long term Carers who have had no option to give up work to care for their child or disabled parent/partner will be facing poverty also in old age when the state pension is all they will receive for their incredibly hard work and long hours.

2rebecca · 15/05/2017 09:59

It is fine if you have untrained employees or employees with a common skill as getting locums/ temps will be OK. If you work in a shortage skill area having a year off will be difficult for the company. On the other hand many people then try and get signed off with stress when they aren't actually ill (for the carers leave) so it will save on GP visits and mean they aren't getting sick pay when they aren't sick.

MommaGee · 15/05/2017 10:00

Thing is surely the suggestion isn't compulsory though so if it doesn't work for you and your family then you carry on engaging care services or family support or get signed off sick. For someone who has no option but to do it it gives an option other than quitting work or long term sick

MommaGee · 15/05/2017 10:01

If you work in a shortage skill area having a year off will be difficult for the company. as opposed to them quitting entirely then struggling to get beck into it later. This way you cab retain their skills

2rebecca · 15/05/2017 10:03

Many GPs are unhappy signing people off sick just to care for people who are sick when they themselves aren't and are capable of doing the job of caring for the sick relative so capable of working. It is fraudulent. If this comes in I suspect GPs will be glad to just say "no, claim carers allowance"

MommaGee · 15/05/2017 10:06

Many GPs are unhappy signing people off sick just to care for people who are sick DS was back in hospital when I would have been due to end maternity leave. If I'd have been going back I wouldn't have needed to fake anything. I was having panic attacks over his health, I crier nearly every day for the 4 months we were in. I couldn't have left him 10 hours a day to work and been any use. My husband did because he knew I was there. It would be genuine sick leave. Its not the same swanning in and asking then to sign you off force few weeks so you can do something else

PovertyPain · 15/05/2017 10:21

It is fraudulent. If this comes in I suspect GPs will be glad to just say "no, claim carers allowance"

FRAUDULENT! I'm glad my gp wasn't such a prick when I was nursing my terminally ill husband. Stress, anxiety attacks, depression, exhaustion, physical pain as a result of the lack of sleep and physical work. Yeah, really fucking fraudulent. So I should have lived on nothing or went to work and left a terminally ill man that had to take 5 different pain killers, chemo and a multitude of other medication? FFS. Is it any wonder people treat benefit claimants as sponges if certain gps have that attitude? 😠

PovertyPain · 15/05/2017 10:22

Spongers not sponge.

Phillipa12 · 15/05/2017 10:23

The idea in principle is good but being able to implement it??... i cant see it working. I know there are a lot of employers who give generously on compassionate leave and then there are some that give nothing, i do feel that leave should be on an individual need and that employers should work with this. spartacus i do really hope that you have not lost a child, and if you have i am truly very sorry but comparing the loss of a child to that of a parent with all the beurocracy involved is insensitive, i have lost both my mum and my daughter in sudden circumstances and the two dont even come close in comparison, i do hope thats not what you intended.

user1493022461 · 15/05/2017 10:26

I think it's disgusting that there is a suggestion of one 'type' of grief being more important than another

I think you're very naive if you think it isn't. And we already have a hierarchy of these things when it comes to leave from work.

PovertyPain · 15/05/2017 10:32

User I'm not suggesting that people are not ignorant enough to believe that everyone's level of grief depends on their legal relationship with the person that has died. What I'm saying is, that in real life, it's not that simple. Believe me, I'm far from naive.

PovertyPain · 15/05/2017 10:32

User I'm not suggesting that people are not ignorant enough to believe that everyone's level of grief depends on their legal relationship with the person that has died. What I'm saying is, that in real life, it's not that simple. Believe me, I'm far from naive.

hophouse · 15/05/2017 10:34

I don't know anyone who has had to care for a family member for an extended period and hasn't ended up on antidepressants. In my case I've ended up being referred to my mental health team and under the care of a consultant psychiatrist I was so stressed and anxious. All of them would be ill enough for sick leave or sickness benefits although in most cases they've been on carer's allowance instead as it's more straightforward to claim.

user1493022461 · 15/05/2017 10:40

I don't think anyone does believe that. I think everyone knows that someone whose child has died should get a lot more time of than if their second cousin twice removed has.
It's not a contraversial idea, its completely normal. Your grief is your own affair, how much time you should get off work is not.

PovertyPain · 15/05/2017 10:44

Time I hid this thread. There's always one competitive, gf that appears and I'm not in the mood.

Vinorosso74 · 15/05/2017 10:46

I don't see how that can work. Things like this need to be dealt with on a case by case basis. With bereavement people deal with it so differently and have different things to sort out/arrange. Two colleagues of mine lost their elderly mothers in close succession. One had a few days before/after her death and the day of the funeral. He felt better at work and there wasn't much "admin" to deal with as his father wanted to do it all. The other had so much shut to deal with from her brother and his family wanting to get their hands on anything valuable and get as much as they could financially she was off over a month, she did get a suck note from her GP mind.
I worked for a large bank, some bosses were great others no compassion at all. Obviously there's always some people who take the piss.

user1493022461 · 15/05/2017 10:48

It's not competitive or goady, its just what actually happens in real life

Are you always so rude when people point out actual reality?

LadyPW · 15/05/2017 10:52

So currently people complain that there is no statutory provision for time off if your child dies or if you need time off to care for someone. T May announces that a statutory provision will be made. People still complain!
Many (smaller) businesses cannot afford to pay people if they're not working, but by allowing you the time off unpaid you at least get to keep your job safe for a year.
A fortnight's paid leave when your child dies may not be anywhere near enough but at least if you have a crap employer it means that you're not trying to negotiate that initial period of devastation AND try and persuade your boss you need time off.
Some people seem determined to argue just because it's the conservatives and they're labour voters....

MommaGee · 15/05/2017 10:53

vino but view it works is the first guy would take a few days then speak to work an return. The second guy would have two weeks leave then speak to work and book two weeks leave instead of four.
The bosses with no compassion would have a minimum requirement and the bosses with compassion cab still be compassionate.

I don't think anyone having two weeks off for the death of a child, parent is taking the piss.

mousymary · 15/05/2017 10:58

I think a one size fits all can't really work, and then I think well, it has to Confused .

I know that if anything happened to my dog I'd be destroyed. Silly I know to some people, but to me he's... well, a lot. Otoh when mil died... nothing. Dh took a couple of half days off to sort out admin, and another to attend funeral. That was it.

Obviously if a child dies that's another matter, or a very close relative who dies before their time.

But when 98-year-old granny dies... no. Surely a day off for funeral is adequate. Even if the granny raised you, surely you'd be thinking that her death was to be expected.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 15/05/2017 11:01

spartacus i do really hope that you have not lost a child, and if you have i am truly very sorry but comparing the loss of a child to that of a parent with all the beurocracy involved is insensitive, i have lost both my mum and my daughter in sudden circumstances and the two dont even come close in comparison, i do hope thats not what you intended

'Fraid it was Phillipa. I imagine losing a child is extremely painful, but those who have done so do not hold the moratorium on grief. Others experience quite comparable grief at the loss of different loved ones. You know nothing about others' emotional ties or relationships. Dealing with funeral arrangements, financial arrangements and a range of other things is also time-consuming, stressful and taxing. the leave should be equally avaialable to all.

LightYears · 15/05/2017 11:02

If employers were reasonable in the first place, there would be no need for these laws to be brought in. Exactly, I agree.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 15/05/2017 11:04

*Obviously if a child dies that's another matter, or a very close relative who dies before their time.

But when 98-year-old granny dies... no. Surely a day off for funeral is adequate. Even if the granny raised you, surely you'd be thinking that her death was to be expected*

Oh wow. That makes it alright does it?

runloganrun101 · 15/05/2017 11:09

The 1 year unpaid carers leave usually has conditions attached in most of the companies I've worked for - you need to evidence why you need the leave (a colleague had to bring notification from the A&E the next day that her husband was receiving emergency treatment for leukemia), and it would not be for extended family or those suffering from chronic illnesses.

The beareavement leave of 2 weeks again is only really for immediate family and there are some really strict guidelines over when it should he authorized

mousymary · 15/05/2017 11:10

I think employers will be requiring some proof otherwise you could go to the funerals of four grandparents and a couple of great-grandparents in a year Wink

I think a day at the races used to be termed "Grandmother's funeral".