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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU that he went out again

77 replies

thetreesarealive · 14/05/2017 20:32

DH was out this morning doing a favour for someone (a pleasant one -
he enjoys it), home for lunch and then straight out again for a hobby that took up the whole afternoon (2-7pm). I had to cope with our three very energetic/argumentative kids by myself the whole day, which included the birthday party for our eldest from 2-5pm – which we had organised before he realised it clashed with the hobby. (i.e. he didn't check.)

He usually goes out to meet a mate twice a week, one of these being Sunday evenings. I asked him if he was going out again tonight, he said, "yes, if that's ok." I made it clear that I didn't want him to, but he went out anyway.

I work and he doesn't. Kids are at school though, and he doesn't really keep the house or anything. I struggle immensely with tiredness due to a chronic condition. I was working all day yesterday. I am shattered and could have used a little bit of company for once. Aargh.

OP posts:
bigchris · 14/05/2017 20:33

Why doesn't he work ?
How old are your kids ?

Pettywoman · 14/05/2017 20:39

What does he bring to the relationship other than being a cocklodger?

Fruitcorner123 · 14/05/2017 20:42

YADNBU who misses their own child's birthday party for a hobby? Also twice a week with the same friend when he's been out all day is excessive and how is he funding this? Why doesn't he work? What does he do if hes not looking after the house and the kids are at school!!? I would be furious and we would be having a serious chat. He sounds incredibly selfish.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 14/05/2017 20:43

Sounds like time spent on a hobby should be in the job centre.
Are you funding this hobby??
He isn't a df /dh. .He. is a twat.

ExcuseMeButImHavingACrisis · 14/05/2017 20:48

What is he doing when the kids are at school?

AnyFucker · 14/05/2017 20:49

Christ almighty

This place is like Mug Central today

Who are all these women who let men treat like them like utter shit ?

It's like a triffid invasion or summat

TheSnowFairy · 14/05/2017 20:52

He missed his own kid's birthday party?! Shock

Alison100199 · 14/05/2017 20:52

So he's a SAHD who does fuck all. He missed his child's party for a hobby and pisses off with his friends when you need him. What the hell?

robinia · 14/05/2017 20:55

What AnyFucker said. I'm the most laid back person around but you'd already lost me when he missed his dc's birthday.

junebirthdaygirl · 14/05/2017 20:58

Usually after a birthday party both dps are collapsed in a heap saying never again..He dodged off the whole party and now is dodging off the aftermath of tired dcs and a wrecked house..He is completely out of order. As for not working and you carrying everything he is a waste of space. What to do is difficult to know . I hope you are not paying for everything and that he has a trust fund or something!!!

ScarlettFreestone · 14/05/2017 21:02

Sorry I can't get past the fact he missed his child's birthday party.

My DH has a sport he's pretty dedicated to and spends a lot of time on, but never in a million years would he think that his child's party wouldn't come first.

If your kids are at school and he doesn't work why on earth isn't he doing the lion's share of the household stuff?

Reow · 14/05/2017 21:05

Yup @Anyfucker

I'd be off. Weird day all round.

Naicehamshop · 14/05/2017 21:07

Seems like he is neither use nor ornament op. Confused

Ethylred · 14/05/2017 21:15

He must have some redeeming feature, otherwise he's a weapons-grade wanker.

Catherinebee85 · 14/05/2017 21:20

Why is he able to get away with this? You need to seriously think about whether he's worth it. The situation sounds ridiculous! He's taking you for a total mug!

Gazelda · 14/05/2017 21:35

Shockhow did your DS react to his DF not being at his birthday party? How come he was doing a favour for someone else this morning, rather than helping with party prep? Even if you did it away from the home, you still need to get Everyone bathed and dressed, sort out cake, get party bags together, hunt the matches, while 3 DC are uber-excited.
He doesn't seem to contribute much to your family. What are his positive characteristics?

Guiltypleasures001 · 14/05/2017 21:44

Cheers AF

All I can hear now is that bloody knock knock knock noise they used to make, I luffs triffids 😁
Maybe suggest the op hoses him down with salt water, before kicking his arse out

Cookingongas · 14/05/2017 21:44

Yanbu

How to solve the issue is a mystery to me- if he's such a cocklodger that he doesn't work, doesn't look after the kids and is so disconnected to have missed his dcs birthday party then I can't see how he could change.

Fruitcocktail6 · 14/05/2017 21:49

What the hell?

Why doesn't he work? And he missed his kid's birthday party? Why are you with him?

Poisongirl81 · 14/05/2017 21:50

Really Hmm

AnyFucker · 14/05/2017 21:50

He must have a diamond studded cock

Poisongirl81 · 14/05/2017 21:50

He's a scrounging shit bag

Hiphopopotamus · 14/05/2017 21:53

AnyFucker have you thought that maybe these women shouldn't be kicked while they're down? You always claim to be on their side, but talk about them completely disparagingly with no empathy whatsoever

wannabestressfree · 14/05/2017 21:54

I love anyfucker..... always on the 🏀
Some bits I could get over but not the birthday party/ treating your gaff like a b&b type stuff....
Why not just be on your own.... I love it.... strokes big ole manless double bed :)

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/05/2017 21:54

Is he a full time SAHP to all those energetic children all week?

No, you do the housework and the kids are at school. Time to rethink this relationship.

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