Is it me or dh?

[Whirltime]

Dh works in next town. Its a 5 minute walk to train station, a 7 minute train ride to next town and then a 3 minute walk to his work. The trains are pretty good and apart from the odd strike they run like clockwork.
This week he starts work at 8 am. Theres a train at 6.40 , 6.50, 7.40 and 7.50.
He has just got really annoyed at me as i can't understand why he wants to get the 6.40 when he can easily get the 7.40 and get to work with a few minutes to spare. He does this every day where he leaves an hour to an hour and a half early saying he doesnt want to rush. I just want a bit of time in the morning to shower and dress before he leaves. I can't after he leaves as i have 3 dcs 12 year old with sn a 3 year old with sn and a 2 year old there sn means they need constant supervision.
Its not like i ask him to stay and do house work i do all that i just want a little time in the mornings to be human. Once he leaves the house i have zero time for anything. Am i asking to much?

Op, yanbu.

Your dh is disinterested in helping you. He has his routine, does what benefits him, and wants to carry on that way.

I am in the same position. My stbxh has, for years, not helped with the dc (all on the spectrum, I similarly cannot have even 2 minutes to myself) and they now all refuse to let him help with anything significant.

I am a sahm too. That was never the plan, but stbxh has systematically sabotaged all attempts to retrain (to be able to do something which fits around the dc and their needs) by not being able to help out/get home in time for me to attend courses/cook occasionally at the weekend to allow me to do coursework etc. So I am stuck at home with him as the only earner (which he now moans about but still won't get home at a time which allows me to do anything about a course, or leave later so that he could do the school run and I could attend a day course). He still does absolutely nothing to help out. I have 3 dc, at 3 different schools, eldest needs constant supervision, but the other two have significant needs (and one is only preschool age so is needier anyway).

He is now oddly able to attend the theatre this week, plus do a cookery course one evening. Yet can't get back home in time for me to do anything (not even go to the gym).

Some men are just a waste of space, and are utterly selfish. Being a good parent/partner is far more than bringing home a wage - especially in situations where extra support is needed.

"Just remember, men are wired differently to us, sometimes they need coaching and treating like a child would!"

This is pathetic. And not true.

We had a heart to heart when he came home from work.
Hes willing to take the 7.40 train he said sorry for being hard work. He says he finds it alot of pressure with money at minute as we had to buy dc2 2 pairs of bew glasses last week and also had to start buying special nappies for dc2 as hes out grown the standard sizes and isnt old enough for help of the incontinence team yet.
Hes also said he wants to be more involved with the dcs and would like to help with bathing and dressing them see if they will let him if hes here at them times and helping me. So hopefully we have solved a few things and he sticks to his word.
Thanks for all advice and opnions everyone.

Glad your talk was productive. Hope you see some changes and he starts helping you OP.

Sounds productive. Fingers crossed.

Sounds good. Hope it works out.