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Original poster

To ask how long does it take to meet someone and have a baby?

401 replies

WhereDoesThisRoadGo · 14/05/2017 00:40

This is going to seem like a ridiculous question, which I acknowledge, bit hope you forgive me because we cannot be rational all the time. I am worrying a lot that, at 33, I am no closer to having a child than I was at 23. And I am just getting older. I am single and do not have anyone in the pipeline who wants children one day. Please share your stories of time between met - engaged - married - baby (or met - baby) to help me work out what my cut off needs to be for giving up going it alone.

OP posts:
Brown76 · 14/05/2017 07:51

Under 2 years. Met in April 2014 (I was 35), Living together Jan 2013, Baby born June 2014. We did deliberately move quicker than we would have done if I'd been younger, the moving in together was to see if it would work before TTC. I was clear with DP that I wanted a family and was actively dating to find someone who wanted that, and didn't want to be exclusive.

That aside, when I was in your position I investigated egg freezing and sperm donors (ruled it out), went on a few internet dating sites (a bit disappointing, didn't meet partner through this but felt that I was at least making an effort), and also thought postitvely about how I wanted my life to be if it was without my own children, which made me feel a lot happier. I know lots of women who have chosen not to have children and are living amazing lives, and it helped me accept that it might not happen. I cried about that, but reasoned that having children would also involve a few tears and no guarantees.

GeekyWombat · 14/05/2017 07:51

Met, engaged, married and first baby in 3.5 years. We didn't meet until ourbmid thirties and knew we were on the same page with wanting marriage and kids with the right person. Luckily we both thought the other was the right person!

kaytee87 · 14/05/2017 07:51

Met when I was almost 24, engaged almost 27, married just turned 28 and baby almost 29.

We weren't in a rush to get married / have a baby though as we were both young. I'd say we knew each other well enough to get married / have a baby 2 years after meeting.

TheLegendOfBeans · 14/05/2017 07:56

OP I think if there is any "key" to being able to "accelerate" the process then I'd say it's know what you want, but much more importantly what you don't want.

I spent so many years with guys that weren't right for me when I should've been frankly more unforgiving of BS and emotional dickheadary way before.

Plus I was 33 when I thought "you know what? I'm a good catch".

That massively game changed things all over my life.

Good luck x

RockyTop · 14/05/2017 07:56

Met at age 29, first baby born 3 and a bit years later. We skipped the marriage bit though!

EllieHJ · 14/05/2017 08:04

33 is still young. You have plenty of time to meet someone nice and have a few children. I agree that things speed up in your 30s. I think you are more likely to not worry about looks which you look at more in your 20s and actually look for someone who is a wonderful person who compliments you. When you meet them when you are a little older then you are more likely to both be in the same place regarding settling down. Relationships I personally had in my early 20s didn't work because we both weren't ready to settle down. But I catered a golden wedding yesterday and they had met when they were 18 and seemed so happy to what the hell do I know!
I met my husband at 29 - he is 17 years older than me. I thought he was about mid-thirties and must say I did think aaargh when I found out his real age. But we fell in love and I was pregnant within 6 months! Got married when ds1 was 22 months. Had another ds2 when I was 34 and another ds3 when I was 40. Love my family and husband.

Kintan · 14/05/2017 08:07

Met 2010, married 2011, baby 2016. We decided to wait to have a baby though and I was 38 when I got pregnant. A close friend met, married her husband and had a baby all within two years. You still have time OP. Best of luck to you!

MadameJosephine · 14/05/2017 08:16

I met my DD's dad on an online dating site when I was 35 and we started trying to conceive a year later because we knew time wasn't on our side. Just as well we did because it took 4 years to get pregnant and she wasn't born until I was 41!

Mulberry72 · 14/05/2017 08:26

Met DH in 2002 (I was 30, him 28), married in 2005, had DS in 2006. There's no strict timetable for things to happen.

x2boys · 14/05/2017 08:30

I met dh at 31 married him six months later and was pregnant with ds1 about six months after that a friend of mine had never really had a proper relatio ship met her dh when she was 33 they dated for a few months and split up because she wanted more commitment he was a bit younger than her not loads but was happy just dating a week later she found out she was pregnant he supported her through the pregnancy and after some tooing and froing they got back together when their daughter was about nine months old they had another child and then got married their oldest daughter has just turned 13.

TessTube · 14/05/2017 08:37

I know at least 5/6 people including me that were single at 33 and went on to have children.

AmaDablam · 14/05/2017 08:42

Met DH at 32, became a couple at almost 33, engaged 9 months later, married at 34, dd born the day after our 2nd wedding anniversary. So all in all, 4 years from meeting to having a baby, 3.5 from start of relationship.

Hope things work out for you OP, I well remember being in your shoes at only slightly younger and thinking it would never happen.

Stillwishihadabs · 14/05/2017 08:42

I do find this a bit depressing tbh. You don't need to be in a relationship to become a mother. It is almost certainly preferable to do it on your own than rush things because you are worried about time running out. If you want a baby I would concentrate on that tbh and leave the whole.relationship thing on one side. I think it must be quite off putting for me if you are obviously wanting to rush through the getting to know you stage so you can get pregnant.

londonpia · 14/05/2017 08:42

Met, moved into together after 18 months. Would have been sooner but he was on a 6 month residential course. Engaged a year later. Married a year later. Pregnant 18 months later.

Super speedy friend and her DP. Met, got pregnant 3 months later, moved in soon after. Second baby due two years after meeting. Totally in love. Engaged.

Stillwishihadabs · 14/05/2017 08:43

For men, not me.

Lollyb86 · 14/05/2017 08:43

Met in 2008 married in 2012 had DD in 2013. Started Trying to conceive in 2011 though Smile

Emma1609 · 14/05/2017 08:45

I met my dh is April 2012 age 3, moved in after 4 months and was pregnant after 8 months - it's what we both wanted although pregnamcy probably a bit quick but i was worried due to pcos. Got married after 3 years and now have dc2 on the way.
I think when you're on your 30s and meet the love of your life, you just get on with things a lot quicker cos you both know what you want out of life. Totally different to 20s. I was so worried about meeting someone too, I understand your position but don't worry x

Emma1609 · 14/05/2017 08:46

Sorry should have previewed - met age 31

Thetitisright · 14/05/2017 08:46

Met then got pregnant 6 months later, then had another baby 3 years after. I wouldn't recommend having a baby early in the relationship. We love each other more than anything still after 15 years but it was really hard at time because we didn't any foundation in our relationship.

Emma1609 · 14/05/2017 08:51

So from meeting to baby being born was 17 months - but we felt like we'd known each other for years when we met so it didn't matter.

user1471537877 · 14/05/2017 08:57

I was nearly 32 when I was made to meet my DH on a blind date

4 weeks later we were engaged ( he was on holiday for 2 of those weeks)

11 1/2 weeks from meeting we got married

3 months later we tried for our 1st child and she was born 9 months later 3 days after our first wedding anniversary 15 months after we met

6 months later I was expecting our 2nd who was born 26 months after we first met

We've been together 16 years, currently sat drinking coffee in bed still happy

It can happen especially if you've reached that point in life where you really are ready for that next stage

Still the love of my life

Snap8TheCat · 14/05/2017 09:01

45 weeks from first date to delivery of dc1. Blush

Been together nearly 15 years now.

1stTimeMama · 14/05/2017 09:12

Together from Oct '08, pregnant in Jan '09.
Engaged Jan '15, married June '15.
We now have 4 children together, and are coming up to our 2nd wedding anniversary.
There is hope!

blue2014 · 14/05/2017 09:12

Me - 12 years from date to 1st baby Shock

My sister - 12 months Smile

It'll be ok, OP Smile

MaryShelley1818 · 14/05/2017 09:12

Well it can happen very very quickly!

I met up with DP in July last year after not having seen him for 12yrs! We got together in September, moved in together in October, bought a house together in March and I'm currently 9wks pregnant.

By the time we've been together a year I'll be 3mths away from giving birth. I wouldn't change a thing either, age was not on my side and life is short!