To ask how long does it take to meet someone and have a baby?

[WhereDoesThisRoadGo]

This is going to seem like a ridiculous question, which I acknowledge, bit hope you forgive me because we cannot be rational all the time. I am worrying a lot that, at 33, I am no closer to having a child than I was at 23. And I am just getting older. I am single and do not have anyone in the pipeline who wants children one day. Please share your stories of time between met - engaged - married - baby (or met - baby) to help me work out what my cut off needs to be for giving up going it alone.

It's really shit actually that you spend half your early adult life worrying about this. Just before DP and I got together when I was 26 I remember doing the same calculations over and over (so if I meet someone now .. how old will I be when I have my first child).
You basically want to cram in university, getting a good job, settling down with a place, finding someone, getting to know then, deciding to have a baby into a really short space of time and if course it's next to impossible.
Rant over.
Moved in together at 11 months, got pregnant 2 years later (almost 3 years into relationship).

A close family member met Mr Right at 30, got engaged at 31 and married 6 months later. 1 year later they're expecting their first child (found out 1 month after their first wedding anniversary).
Another close family member met her husband at 26, got married at 31 and had a baby at 33 (they wanted to as soon as they got married but could not take any time off work for financial reasons).

We met at 16 years old (friends)
We started dating at 23 years old
We got engaged 6 months into the relationship
We got married at 24 years old (a year to the day we started dating)
1st Baby at 25 years old
2nd Baby at 29 years old
3rd Baby due at the end of June 2017

We will be celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary in November (2017).

I broke the timeline down like this to show you what worked for us. I know its not the same for everyone. Some people like and need to date for a few years before marriage and children and some don't.

I met DH in July 2011, when I was 36 and he was clear he was looking for a permanent arrangement and a family straight away but I wasn't so sure initially and also knew that I wanted to be married and living in an owned rather than rented house before having children. Even though we were older, I still wanted time to make sure we were right together and in a good situation before we had children.

We moved in together in February 2012 and bought a house in September 2013, got married in January 2014 and I was pregnant not long after. Sadly we lost that baby and our first son was born in September 2015, when I was 40 and we have another one due the week of his second birthday. I still feel like it was quite a short time to know someone before making such a big commitment than involves the whole life of another person, the baby, who can't be consulted, and that the time that I really got to know DH well and realise that he was the right person to be with was when we lost the first baby.

Booked our wedding in 3 months got married one year after getting together and had first child 4 years later (I was only 21 when got married and wanted to wait a bit b4 having a child). Now have three kids. People said we wouldn't last a year and have been married 18 years now!

Have friends that have got pregnant within weeks and are still together years later. Also have friends that have split after having kids. Kids put huge pressure on relationships though especially newborns when you can't sleep!

I have another friend that got to 39 and went for AI by donor and now has beautiful daughter and has never been happier.

Hope your dreams come true xx

I met my partner online dating in Aug 2014. We had a baby boy Aug 2016 and will be celebrating his first birthday and our 3 year anniversary this August. I'm 42 he's 39 (we met when I was 39). There's still hope but you need to create opportunities. Enjoy your singledom and make the most of it because though it is wonderful to have a loving partner and family, your freedom is a wonderful thing too.

I know how it feels. Well, I do not know if mine is a success story but I met my husband in 1968(yes, I was 4 and I recall not liking him at all)started dating in 1994, married 1999,DD born in 2004, very very late.
I have a friend who married in her forties and has three children.
One piece of advice: if you are not in it with all your heart don't go for it. It has to be right for you,not for your potential children.
Age does not really matter.
Better to be unhappy by yourself and to be unhappy in two.

Met when I was 25 married when I was 29 and had DS at 30

Much older husband who had already been there done that once before!

Met 2007, engaged 2008, married 2010, 1st baby 2012, 2nd baby 2015

Met my dh when I was 34, started a new job and there he was. That was 2008, married 2010, pregnant but mc 2011, 1st dd 2012 and second (And last ) dd 2014. Dont panic op theres plenty time, relax and enjoy your single years.

Met dp 23/12/01, 23/12/02 we were at GP having pregnancy confirmed, dd born 23/08/03.
We were both older, I had just turned 41 when dd born, we knew we wanted to be parents so didn't hang around.

Met first in 91. Married 94. Baby 2003 I was 29 and had been trying for 2 years before starting IVF. Second baby 2007 I was 31. Different man. met 2003 started dating 2005 and after 6 months started trying as probkems ladt time. Miscarried once after 3 months. married 2012

FORGET worrying! Stress ages you in every way.

But... the only way you can relax is to FREEZE YOUR EGGS!

(BTW: I thought about doing it but didn't. Huge regret as I then didn't find the right man and got very ill, which also triggered an early menopause. Ten years of IVF, TTC with partners and then using sperm donors ensued. Very expensive, lonely and stressful. I finally adopted, which took another 2 years. All avoidable - IF. I had frozen my eggs early on.

I now advise all single women over 30 to do it, as you never know what life has in store!....)

Someone on Jeremy Kyle this morning took a week between meeting him and getting pregnant, if that's any help.....

Being facetious aside, met DH when I was 31 and he was 40, we didn't start trying until I was about 35, found out we were infertile when I was about 36, started IVF/ICSI which worked first time (although we were told we only had about a 1 in 6 chance) and had DS when I was 38 and DH was 47. Two subsequent attempts didn't work and we gave up when I was 40. Please don't wait any longer than necessary- the time will never be 'right' but it soon gets too late. Good luck.

Met DP at 19 (but I was turning 20 in a few months) he was 26 we've been together for 5 years and we're expecting our first child this July!

Age perception of having kids has changed too, especially in London. I was considered young having dd at 28 and a lot of people both during the pregnancy and even a couple of months ago have commented I seem too young to have a 2.5 year old dd it's normal in my friendship groups to plan to want kids at 35+ which I think is great - whatever works for you and your life plan. But it does mean I get odd comments and zero understanding of balancing childcare and not being able to keep up with their social lives . Someone at work today couldn't understand why I cancelled on a night out over the weekend because Dd has vomiting bug. 'Oh why didn't you leave dd with your husband?'. Yeah that's nice for him at 1 in the morning with a vomiting toddler and I'm useless, and that's nice for dd screaming 'mama mama''. I just smile and explain and think, one day you will know if you choose to have kids!!!

i met my husband at 36, was engaged 10 months later, married 10 months after that and had a baby just before my 39th birthday! Good luck. When you meet someone who is right it will happen, don't settle because you are in a rush! Good luck xx

I gave birth to DD1 about 14 months after our first shag date. I was 37.

We knew each other vaguely from school. Didn't start socialising until I was 21, him 23 and we went out for 6 months. This was 2003. We got together again in 2006. Bought a house in 2008. Baby (IVF) in 2016. Getting married this year.

Met in May, got engaged in August, moved in together in October, got married in January, had baby in July. Celebrated our 22nd anniversary this year.

There are many, many inspiring stories OP from women who were much, much older than you, both from RL and the public eye.

I'm afraid I haven't waded through to see whether she has posted but there is a Mumsnetter who had been trying to conceive with her husband for many years. Tragically he suddenly died when she was 37. She went on to meet another man some years later and is now pregnant in her early 40s.

There's another lady here who met her husband at 43 after 10 years of being single. She got pregnant on the fifth cycle of trying and her DD was born she was 45.

Whilst obviously nobody would choose those circumstances, they both have happy endings and go to show that you just never know what's around the corner or what life has in store for you. At 33, so very much could still happen...

My godmother married at 21 and spent many years trying unsuccessfully to conceive, religiously taking her temperature everyday (this was before IVF). It eventually led to the breakdown of her relationship when she was 29. She married again 10 years later, having long ago abandoned all hope of children. Yet she conceived on the honeymoon.

Journalist Annabel Heseltine met her husband at 34 and was engaged within months. She too had difficulties conceiving and was at the point of despair when she had conceived IVF twins aged 39. She then went on to have two more natural surprises in her 40s!

Journalist Kate Silverton met her husband at 37. She had known fertility problems and so went quickly to IVF. After three failed cycles they were looking at adoption when she conceived naturally not just once but twice.

Actress Hermione Norris met her husband and in her mid-30s and had two children at age 37 and 40.

Victoria Coren met her husband at 38 and now has a daughter.

Sophie Wessex went on to have two children, despite an ectopic pregnancy at age 37.

A lot of these women had fertility problems yet still achieved their dreams. There is no reason at all to think that you will have such problems. Yet these stories hopefully go to show that even if you do, hope is far from lost.

Met, married and baby in 11 months.

Met DH at 30, engaged a year later and married another year after that. DD was born after 17 months, so I was 33. DS born when I was 38.

Met a month off my 34th birthday, married at 36, 1st baby at 37, 2nd baby at 39. We took 2.5 years to get married but we could have done it quicker, when you are a bit older you know when something is right quite quickly.