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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed that there will be a trousers uniform only at dc's secondary school from next year?

506 replies

bigbuttons · 11/05/2017 13:48

DD ( dc number5) starts secondary in September. All her older sibs have gone/ are at the school. Her 2 older sisters are in years 8 and 10. Up until now the uniform has been, for girls, a blazer, skirt or trousers, white shirt and optional tie.
We got an email this week saying that after extensive consultation( I would like to know with whom because parents were not asked to my knowledge) the uniform for new year 7's would be 'gender neutral'. Both sexes will wear exactly the same uniform i.e new school jumper, no blazer, smart grey or black trousers, no skirts and all to wear a tie. Pupils currently at the school can continue with the current uniform but change of they wish.
There has been 'issue' with girls rolling their skirts up to basically just below their backsides and members of the public/parents have been complaining about this. The new trousers only uniform will help with issues of 'decency' it says.
Year 6 dd is horrified, she has never worn trousers in her life and quite frankly is not a good shape for them anyway, - leggings yes, buttoned trousers, no, although I have never said this to her of course. She is short and stocky, always has been.
I know many women who feel very uncomfortable wearing trousers because they don't like their legs/shape and always wear dresses and skirts.

What this this gender neutral crap?
I support both sexes wearing ties and I liked the blazer so am sad it has gone.

I think the girls should be able to wear skirts and am confused about the whole 'indecent' issue. If a girl wears a short skirt it's surely not her fault if people find it 'indecent'? It feels like very little has progressed for girls since I was at school. So, they now all have to look like boys?

I would be interested to hear people's views on this.

OP posts:
jojo2916 · 12/05/2017 11:33

I agree with op , there should be a choice, otherwise it is the opposite of feminism

Roomster101 · 12/05/2017 11:55

Things change a lot in 5 years. You can't expect a school to keep things the same for that length of time. Especially something that isn't really "that" important in the big scheme of things.

I don't think they should keep things exactly the same but major changes such as these shouldn't apply to children already at the school or those in year 6 if they are already committed to going there. You may not think it important but plenty of people wouldn't want to spend the next five years looking ridiculous, which is how many girls may look if the trousers are anything like the ones in my DDs school uniform.

FlossyMooToo · 12/05/2017 12:07

School is about education not a fashion show Hmm
Its a school uniform it is a standard one across many schools.
Why waste this much energy on a skirt when this school apparently has a severe eating disorder problem but parents would rather campaigne for a skirt. Great priorities. Hmm

TrinityTaylor · 12/05/2017 12:10

What do you mean severe eating disorder problem??

FlossyMooToo · 12/05/2017 12:19

Hackedoff posted as a parent at the same school as OP psted this at 22:39 yesterday There is already quite an eating disorder problem at the school, and having to sit in class all day wondering if their bums ‘look big in this’ is hardly going to help

Empireoftheclouds · 12/05/2017 12:21

It would have been okay if they had said trousers were the uniform when choosing the school but mentioning once children are already committed to going seems unfair. what an odd comment. Would anyone honestly choose a high school based on whether they were allowed to wear skirts Confused surely not, even by NM standards that's wacky

BertrandRussell · 12/05/2017 12:23

Surely if there is an eating disorder problem at the school then there is even more reason to give girls as much choice as possible in what they wear?

CancellyMcChequeface · 12/05/2017 12:25

Pages and pages of posts when if we are honest 95% of the argument really is - people think skirts cover and hide fat

It's possible to support a fat teenager to lose weight while also appreciating their desire to dress in a way that draws attention away from the parts of their body they're unhappy with.

I only wear skirts and for me it's about proportion - I'm two sizes bigger on the bottom than the top. That was true when the sizes in question were 14/18, and is still true now that they're 8/12. Trousers look awful on me. So I don't wear them. I'd avoid a job that mandated trousers unless I could also wear a long top that covered my bum and upper thighs. Yes, it's only clothes, but the way you present yourself to the world does have an impact on self-esteem. It's about more than just 'fashion.' (obvious caveat that yes, I'd wear trousers rather than be unemployed, etc etc, but I'd also be looking for a new job with fewer dress restrictions!)

When I was at school, skirts were mandatory. I hated the uniform for other reasons - but I could empathise with and support the girls who wanted a trouser option because that was their preference, even if I didn't want to wear trousers myself!

FlossyMooToo · 12/05/2017 12:26

So we tackle mental health issues by clothing now? Really?

Surely the answer is to promote positive body attitudes and a healthy diet rather than "here wear a skirt that will solve your anorexia" Confused

An item of clothing will not solve an eating disorder and I am concerned anybody would think it would.

GavelRavel · 12/05/2017 12:26

I think this is a great idea actually, as long as they don't make them wear horrible cheap polyester trousers.

BertrandRussell · 12/05/2017 12:28

"An item of clothing will not solve an eating disorder and I am concerned anybody would think it would."

Oh, ffs.

Roomster101 · 12/05/2017 12:33

Would anyone honestly choose a high school based on whether they were allowed to wear skirts confused surely not, even by NM standards that's wacky

Really? Obviously it would depend on whether there are other good schools a reasonable distance away but if there were and my children really didn't want to go to a particular secondary school because they didn't want to look ridiculous for the next few years, I wouldn't force them to go there.

FlossyMooToo · 12/05/2017 12:34

What is your problem Bert?
Its you who seem to think clothing will make a difference regarding eating disorders.

FlossyMooToo · 12/05/2017 12:37

Wow Room so you would honestly put your childs education second to their need to look good/fashionable Confused

BertrandRussell · 12/05/2017 12:39

If a school has issues with eating disorders then it needs to address them. Restricting girl's choice of clothing is not going to help. I did not say "here wear a skirt that will solve your anorexia"

RufusTheRenegadeReindeer · 12/05/2017 12:40

flossy

roomster didnt say that at all

Clandestino · 12/05/2017 12:40

Why is it 'indecent/ I'm sure in the 60's they said it 'indecent' and decades on we are still saying girls should cover up? Why? Cover up for whom?. So women have to cover up but men can walk around with no tops on in the summer?

Boys still can't walk around with no tops at school. They wear trousers and shirts.
It's a uniform, get over it. It's not a bloody fashion show so I don't understand your objection to your DD "simply not used to wearing trousers because they don't suit her". Who cares?

RufusTheRenegadeReindeer · 12/05/2017 12:41

Really? Obviously it would depend on whether there are other good schools a reasonable distance away but if there were...

FlossyMooToo · 12/05/2017 12:41

The changing of the uniform is not connected to eating disorders in the school Bert they currently allow skirts and the ED is rife apparently so I dont see how bringing in trousers only will change that?

CancellyMcChequeface · 12/05/2017 12:41

Turn it around, Flossy - would you force your child to go to a secondary school with a uniform that they hated (not just the dislike that most young people have for school uniform in general) if there was another good school within reasonable distance that they could attend which had an unobjectionable uniform?

BertrandRussell · 12/05/2017 12:43

Fascinating, in the light of the last few posts, that flossy directed this at me earlier-

"I know you dont like to be wrong and will twist posts any way you can to fit. You have the time to do that then crack on. It makes little difference to me."

Grin
FlossyMooToo · 12/05/2017 12:45

I dont look at school uniforms. I look at what kind of education my DC will be provided with.
The majority of state schools have a similar uniform and they are not silly or outlandish. Usually blazers and ties.

I would be dissapointed in myself as a parent if my child had such a view of a uniform and they threw a strop because they hated it.
I tend not to indulge my DCs whims as I find it creates spilt brats.

FlossyMooToo · 12/05/2017 12:45

spoilt

FlossyMooToo · 12/05/2017 12:46

Ahh Bert again you say something then when you are called on it you twist it around. Its ok I am not bothered by it. Does make you look silly though.

Empireoftheclouds · 12/05/2017 12:48

Really? Obviously it would depend on whether there are other good schools a reasonable distance away but if there were and my children really didn't want to go to a particular secondary school because they didn't want to look ridiculous for the next few years, I wouldn't force them to go there. yes really! Putting your child's desire to wear a skirt above their education in the list of priorities when choosing a school is crazy

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