Aibu to say BF should be here when his ex wants his DC looked after

[SooSmith]

I'm in a new relationship that started just after Christmas. Boyfriend moved here in March.

I want him to keep in contact with his kids, but I aibu to say that if his children are here, then he should be here as well.

His ex works three evenings a week, my BF works nights some weeks. She wants us to have them when she is at work, which is fine when he is home. If he's also at work, then I've insisted she finds someone else. I've got two kids of my own to sort out.

I also have said that on his weekends when he has them, he is here with them and not playing football. Or they don't come.

Things came to a head on Monday when I had taken my kids out, and boyfriend sent me a text asking me to go home as her childcare had fallen through. I told him to leave work and go home himself. When I returned an hour later I found her waiting outside for me. When she started getting the kids out of the car with their stuff, I went in and shut the door, and said if she drove off without them I'd call SS.

AIBU to insist I am not an unpaid childcarer when his ex goes to work?

[Jimcanna]

I was with you for a bit there OP, but it's actually both of their responsibility to ensure their lives fit around their children, not just hers.

Your partner fits the definition of breeder perfectly.

[DrudgeJedd]

Prenup? Congratulations op
I take it you won't be inviting your sister since you're claiming to be an only child on the other thread.
I don't think you're a troll btw just a bit forgetful.

[stitchglitched]

Pre nup? What a selfish fool your boyfriend is to be considering marriage to someone who treats his kids so badly. Or will you stop slamming doors in their faces once you are their official stepmum?

Interesting post to Flossy. What is the term to describe a mother who puts their lovelife over the stability of their kids and moves a random bloke from the school run into their home five minutes after his marriage breaks down?

[AyeAmarok]

This story has more holes than a dart board.

But congratulations on your engagement OP.

[SooSmith]

Same father, different mothers.

[SooSmith]

I never said I was engaged and you don't have to be, to put a prenup in place. I just wanted to protect my house before he moved in. Besides that, he has his own house that he owns with his ex.

[FlossyMooToo]

I missed the OPs post would anyone like to pm me its content?

[FlossyMooToo]

A prenup won't protect your house. They can be and are over turned by the courts when splitting assets after a break down in the relationship.

[AyeAmarok]

You must have some very quick and efficient solicitors.

[kali110]

Its funny that op treats her stepkids like dirt, but what if her 'dp' treated her kids the same way?
Bet he'd be out on his ear then wouldn't he?

[Jimcanna]

According to op, he's pretty fast and loose around his responsibilities to his own kids. But that's ok because he's a male train driver. Female waitresses who behave in the same way are breeders apparently.

[FlossyMooToo]

Never seen so much Goady Fuckery by an OP thats been allowed to stand this long.

Yes women hating is the vibe I get too Jim

[BillyButtfuck]

[Jimcanna]

Thing is, i agree with the original post - it isn't anyones responsibility but the mum and dad. But the thread disintigrated into a very important train driver who was treated terribly and a slutty waitress who farms her kids out wherever.

[LunaJuna]

It's clear that your problem is with the ExW and you're mistreating their kids and being obnoxious just to get to her.
Why you keep going on about "she had an affair ", what does it have to do with the childcare problem??Again, you want to humiliate her (and her kids).
I wont be surprised that if deep down you moved in so quickly with him partly to make sure you show her and everyone else at school that you won the prize.

Of course you'll say I'm wrong, but I think you're playing a dangerous game and exposing your family far too much by moving in so quick into this relationship and getting involved in this messy breakup so soon.

[TheHodgeoftheHedge]

I think you're all absolutely awful and I feel sorry for the kids involved in this.
If you want to see just how damaging comments and attitudes that you are flippantly throwing around can damage children, I suggest you read this heartbreaking thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2931950-Did-your-parents-do-anything-small-that-has-had-a-massive-impact-on-your-life?

Oh and yes, you've wasted time and money on a BS pre-nup. Any decent lawyer would tell you they aren't worth the paper they're written on in the UK.

[ShowMeWhatYouGot]

I have a feeling he might only be putting up with her craziness in hope of getting some money then?

No way I'd let my partner speak to anyone of my children like that! Who slams the door in a child's face! Poor kids.

And what a horrible thing to say about his ex's job, just remember money can't buy class ;)

[DrudgeJedd]

op what was your partner's reaction when you asked him to sign the prenup?
I'm genuinely intrigued, was he shocked at how much wealth you have or did he already know?

[SteppingOnToes]

op what was your partner's reaction when you asked him to sign the prenup?
I'm genuinely intrigued, was he shocked at how much wealth you have or did he already know?

It's more commonly known as a cohabitation agreement and is there to protect both parties. Me and my partner signed one when we moved in together. For anyone who isn't married, it is entirely sensible as otherwise you have little protection.