To ask your lowest point in parenting (so far)... Light hearted!

[Topas0117]

So this morning, I think I've hit my parenting low and thought 'this is my life'.

DD whose 9 months was being very clingy and breaking her heart on the bathroom floor.

So there I was, sat on the loo trying to poop with DD on my knee and Ben and Holly on my phone balancing on the radiator!

Anyone else?

Standing naked (clothes saturated in him) covered in vom holding a naked vomiting baby whilst on the phone to NHS direct.

So many to choose from!

Probably racing to carry baby dd2 who'd toddled off one way, then having to run the other way to catch dd1. Various other parents joined in to help me catch her! Man she was fast. Had to carry both of them in Rugby hold to wherever I'd left my stuff. In fact this kind of thing happened all the time when I let them out of the double buggy.

Also, trying to stop dd 2 taking pooey nappy off while baby dd vomited on me, going down the stairs.

Mine was today. My 18 month old is starting to hate the pram, so took him on a practice walk to the park (literally around the corner). He threw an almighty tantrum when we had to leave, so I picked him up. Instantly threw my back out, it made walking two street lengths utter agony. Had to keep putting him down which lead to the tantrum getting worse. By the time I reached my road, I just had to sit him in the grass whilst I tried not to pass out. The postman was definitely judging me just plonking a toddler on a bit of grass and letting him scream the street down whilst I was just standing there trying not to vomit . I really felt like a crap parent today.

Trying to potty train DD1, while DTs (20 months younger) were crawling. DD1 had just done a poo in the potty - cause for celebration and treats! Turned my back for a second to get a treat for her, and when I turned back round DT2 had her hand in the potty...

DTs were a couple of months old and DD1 had spent the day with her best friend, whose mum was like a second mother to her. Saturday morning, everyone had had breakfast and was quiet and settled. Feeling like we were winning at parenting (for a change) DH went to have a shower. When he came back down, all four of us were sobbing! First one DT had started crying, so I'd picked her up for a cuddle, then the other one kicked off too, so I'd picked her up as well. Then DD1 stood at my knees and asked for a hug, which I couldn't give her because my arms were full of babies, so she wailed 'I want to go back to Aunty Sarah's', at which I burst into tears. Not my favourite moment of having three children under 2 .

When 1 yo ds pulled a computer on top of my foot. Thank god it wasn't on him but dear god that hurt. I screamed and swore making dd 2 cry and then ds cried . Awful. Dh was away, no idea how it wasn't broken. I'm sure there are more of these but I think I've repressed the memories from the first year ...

First day home from hospital with 5 day old baby. I developed norovirus and quickly became semi conscious. Poor DH had to attach new baby to my boob for feeds until he could get emergency formula from hospital (she'd been a v sick baby and couldn't take standard formula for a while). We had to replace the ensuite flooring and our bedding such was the extent of the D&V aftermath!

Trying to figure out what my 1 year old was chewing on at toddler group and discovering she was eating chewing gum which she must have got from someone's shoe!

And she once vomited in my mouth...

As a (very skint) young mum I tried to sneak DS on the bus without paying
I told the bus driver he was 4 only for him to SHOUT for all to hear
"Mummy don't you remember I am five? How can you forget how old your own son is? "

Also on a bus. Very loud and pointing:
"Is that man a lady or does she have a willy?"
(Wasn't 100% sure either)

Trying to cook tea for a 3yo, wailing newborn attached in a sling throws up all over herself and me, then poops and it leaks,again all over both of us and the sling. 3yo then calls that she needs her bum wiping. Pan boils over while I'm dealing with that. Husband walks in from work and I promptly hand him the shitty/pukey baby and tell him there's a poo in the potty needs cleaning, and dinner that needs mopping up!

2yo projectile vomiting halfway round Tesco, all over the tinned aisle and my brand new suede boots (ruined).

4yo weeing down the slide at soft play into the ball pit and the area having to be evacuated to be cleaned.

I could go on.

When DS was a toddler we were out having a picnic when he announced he needed a poo. No toilets anywhere so took him off to a bush where he laid out the biggest log you have ever seen and I had to snap it in half to be able to poop-a-scoop it into a nappy bag.

It was not the funnest picnic i've ever had!

Having to clean up my daughter's poo off her brothers hands and face!

Heading to DDs bedroom in the middle of the night, armed with a torch to do a wee bit of worm spotting. Like a motherly-David Attenborough.

Playing ds (consol) at 1 in the morning with ds cause he was in a lot of pain

My 2 year old DS has recently learnt how to do "standy up wees".

This weekend he decided the toilet was too far away so pulled down his shorts and pants and had a massive wee in my dads garden.
On his strawberry plants.
In front of my DM, sister, her kids, my brother and his new girlfriend, the first time she was staying to have Sunday lunch with us all.

He's made an impression.

Picked up a small piece of "chocolate" off the living room floor. Thank God I smelt it and not just popped it into my mouth yes it was a dry piece of poo

Struggling to latch a 8 week old baby in the waiting room for the health visitor (which was extremely busy). Loud screaming hungry newborn.

Everyone in the room is looking at me and then the baby pulls down the muslin that was covering up my boob and my boob sprays milk all over the shoes of the stranger sitting next to me....

Breast feeding daughter in dr's waiting room whilst waiting for appointment and balancing a sick bowl on her for me. I was not well. I was not infectous and the dr was not convinced on the phone about the effect i was experiencing (gallstones). To get to the dr's was thankfully a very short walk. But it had taken the time from her previous feed to do it (normally just under 5 minute walk lasted nearly 2 hours stopping to be sick every other step). Not the best day of my life

1. Sitting on the toilet while breastfeeding

2. midwife expressing milk manually from my right Brest into a pipette to feed my non latching baby a few hours after a horrible Labour. I remember thinking, 'this isn't even the weirdest thing that happened to me today'.

Well my lowest point was probably going to A&E with 3 children in their pj's and barefoot, me in my pjs without even having brushed my hair or teeth or put a bra on absolutely sopping wet with blood and my 1 year olds thumb hanging off and squirting blood everywhere
Seriously other patients were calling me 'the lady with the blood' when the kids Dad got there looking for us

But more in keeping with the thread:

• pooing with a toddler on my lap

• ds1 pooing in a soft play

• changing a pooey nappy in the middle of the night and not realising until the next morning that I had poo on my hand and forehead

• going to bite my nail one afternoon to find there was poo under it

• finding Ds1 asleep face down in his own vomit one night only because we could smell it from the landing and thus followed the week of the infamous CapesHouse stomach bug - fuck me it was horrific, everyone was sick everywhere there wasn't a clean blanket or sheet left, we could barely stand up or open our eyes, we were all sleeping on floors ontop of towels in the end and just pulling back the towel under our faces throwing up without even lifting ourselves up, putting the towel back ontop of it and going back to sleep! This went on for 4 whole days, the clean up afterwards went on for about a week and Ds1 needed a new mattress!

In hindsight we all probably needed medical attention, but I was so so weak and for a good 24 hours I was vomitting every half an hour or so (and I was pregnant) so it didn't even register That was a majorly low week or 2!

Wondering why the teething gel wasn't having any effect with DS1 then realising the next morning I had reached for the wrong tube and put KY jelly on his gums!

Picking up a smartie from the carpet.
Picking off the hairs, fluff and dust for it was a half sucked smartie with attachments galore.
Popping it into my mouth.

1. it's a long way to the bin in our house 2)you don't waste good chocolate
2. no one was looking.

On my way to pick up my old DD when she was in reception. Fitted the car seat with my sleeping 3yr old. Locked the car, rushed in to the house to get my purse. Rushed back out shutting the house door after me before I realised the house and car keys were inside. Dashed around knocking on all of the neighbours doors, no idea what to do. One of the neighbours had a scythe and managed to open the house door through the letterbox.