To ask your lowest point in parenting (so far)... Light hearted!

[Topas0117]

So this morning, I think I've hit my parenting low and thought 'this is my life'.

DD whose 9 months was being very clingy and breaking her heart on the bathroom floor.

So there I was, sat on the loo trying to poop with DD on my knee and Ben and Holly on my phone balancing on the radiator!

Anyone else?

Shutting Ds's hand in the car door when he was 3 was a particular low point. The door wouldn't open again for me to get his hand out for ages. It was awful but luckily didn't cause any damage.

Another low point this time with Dd when she was a baby was holding her up in the air in front of my face and her puking all over my face. It went in my eyes and I couldn't open them. I was sat there holding the baby and trying to put her down so I could clean my eyes with something.

Err... DS2 having a piss in the adventure playground of Trago Mills (cherub fountain stylee)
DS1 & 2 having a poo painting competition in their shared nursery.

Starting to have recall...

DS1's 'toothpaste poo' - at 9 months old and on our first family holiday he decided to break an episode of constipation whilst I was changing his nappy in the motorway services. It was literally like someone squeezing a tube of toothpaste and there was so much of it there wasn't a hope wipes would sort it so I screamed for DH and left him with DS1 so he wouldn't roll off the change mat while I ran and got a big roll of that blue tissue stuff off the cleaner's trolley....

DS2 doing the same to me in mothercare a year later (only 14 months between them) was with mum that time and got her to go ask staff for clean up stuff due to poo emergency...

Sitting on the loo, breastfeeding baby, reading toddler books and having toddler pee on me 😐 Happy days 😅

These are brilliant ! I arrived at a friends with my strapping 9 month old, 1 enormous crap later I realised I hadn't refilled the bag with nappies. Too embarrassed to let on I noticed friends supply of teeny new baby nappies, pinched one and squeezed poor ds's thunder thighs into it (the tape was edged on either side barely touching) I pulled his trousers up made my excuses and left.
Lost toddler ds2 in a v large shop, made slightly older ds stand as lookout at the door while demanding everyone in the shop stop what they were doing and help me search thankfully everyone was v nice about the crazy bossy shouty lady and he was found very quickly

I'd snuggled up with my then 3 year old ds for an afternoon nap. Blissfully snoozing, became vaguely aware of a small voice asking, "Mummy? Mummy?? How do I get OUT of these things?"
Jerked awake in a panic to find the little cherub had taken advantage of my unconscious state to go rummaging in my "private" bedside drawer and had managed to handcuff himself to the desk.
The problem was, I had lost the keys some months prior and thus a call to the fire brigade was required. Luckily, they saw the funny side but I was mortified!

Changing my sons first nappy, he pissed all over my face - he must have been holding it for 9 months !

Cajoled dd to eat a bowl of spaghetti bolognese when she didn't really want it. She later projectile vomited it- from her top bunk

We went to the Good Food Show at the NEC a few years ago when DS2 was 2ish. He had his flu jab the day before we went, I thought nothing of it and off we went with a few members of the family. Everyone went off and did their own thing with DS and I pottering about.

About an hour into our day we came across MIL and her DP at a vodka stall trying the different sorts, DS2 stood quietly watching and everyone smiled at him. Suddenly there was a noise like a bomb going off and everyone within a 50 yard radius turned around to watch as a tsunami of poo flew out of the front and back of DS2's jeans as he stood there smiling. No lie, there was an actual fountain of shite all over the carpets. He looked at me and declared "uh oh, my not trumping, my pooping" and laughed like a drain as I tried to baby-wipe the NEC's carpets clean, surrounded by people gagging and laughing alternately.

I have never been back to the Good Food Show since. I doubt I ever will.

Just remembered another one!
Last summer, my DD was moaning, saying she had a tummy ache. I thought she was making it up so sent her to the CM. I get a call not long afterwards, saying that she had vomited everywhere and pooed all over herself. It was so bad, the CM couldn't clear it all up so I had to come and help. I take tummy aches very seriously now.

This time last year I had a 12 week old and 2 others under 5. Winning at life, all up and dressed, homecooked meal bubbling away for later, wrapping the birthday present for the party the next day, feeling very in control.

Then DD2 (2.3) did a poo in the potty that was crawling with our first infestation of threadworm. While I was dealing with that little delight, DD1 (4.5) comes through holding a chunk of her hair. I'd left the scissors out from present wrapping. In all the drama, DD3 does an enormous blow out in her nappy.

At 2 weeks old DS went back in hospital as he dropped under 5lb as he wouldn't feed. Was scariest time of my life. I remember feeling clueless as a new mum.

Trying to wipe my bum whilst my toddler brushed my pubes with my toothbrush and holding a howling back in one arm. Fun times.

Lots of darker moments due to PND and lack of sleep but prob not for this thread!

my lowest recent parenting point has been telling my dog he'd been bloody minded and needed to try harder when he refused to go for a wee in the 5 mins I had before I was going to be desperately late getting the DC from nursery and school club. My neighbour saw me muttering at my lovely dog out of her window - must've thought I was demented.

I am sniggering away at my desk here, getting some funny looks for my colleagues.

Llamacorn and secretnetter your stories made me snort out loud. Very loud!

I have jammed DDs finger in a car door and and the house door, been pissed pooped and vomited in by DS on many an occasion.

But the one incident that stands out was when we all went out for Mother's Day dinner not long after my nephew was born. I, being super-aunt and god mother, took care of DN whilst my DS and SBIL ate. I then offered to change him to let my DS continue with her nice, relaxed, first mother day dinner.

Little did I know the poonami that was about to engulf me... and my white top! I basically took DNs nappy off and he skittered all over the place! Baby change room was too far away to shout for help so I got him & me cleaned up as best I could but I was basically covered in shit. I thought "I'll just hand him over, make our excuses, and DH and I will leave our money and get out of there" but no. No, what happened was I opened the door to the restaurant was the everyone turned to me and started singing happy birthday! DS started trying to take DN off me and I was holding onto him for dear life as he was the only thing (sort of) covering the brown pattern across my top! She prised him off me and that was it. Everyone saw my lovely shit-stained attire. They all had a great laugh about it. Had to take my top off when we got in that car to go home as it was making me barf!

Felt like a failure of an aunt at the time but can laugh now. Having had 2 DC myself now know that anything can happen!

DH and I laughing when hearing a thud through the monitor then DD1 crying 'I'm onnnnnnnn the floooooooooor'.

Wearing a nice, pretty pale summer dress when visiting a friend with DD aged 14months... used it as a "safety-net" to catch Ribena puke (judge me !) before it hit friends carpet. Then realised I had to take dress off over my head and had no other clothing anyhow, so went home with "rinsed" dress covered in ribena stain.

But we did go one worse... the same day... out in garden, playing in the daisies - you know like those pretty adverts for Boden etc... DD starts to choke... finger in mouth - pull out clay like lump of cat poop.

Not my best parenting day. I cried... a lot...

When my DTs were about 8 months old and my DS 2.5, I remember begging Siri to tell me how to amuse my children. We were all crying and Siri was sorry, but she couldn't understand my request.

Being hugely impressed that my death-phobic 12-year old managed to get through a conversation that sprang up about me having written my will that day without having a meltdown. First time he hasn't burst into uncontrollable tears at the mention of death.

Then being struck down with a kidney stone - my first - within 2 hours of that conversation and clearly not managing to hide my fear and agony from him or his older sister.

All I could hear as I writhed in agony on the bathroom floor - in between vomiting from pain - was him sobbing in terror in his room. A friend took me to the walk-in clinic and my mum didn't manage to get to my house until he'd cried himself to sleep. Poor kid.

First time I cut my eldests finger nails I nicked the skin and he bled. I cried for about two hours. I feel teary thinking about it now and he's nearly 18.
While the kids were napping I sat down to watch Oprah and I fell asleep. Woke up to find them sitting in front of the TV, side by side, engrossed in Cheaters.

Not so much a parenting low but the funniest thing that happened when DS was a baby.

DH used to have a bath with DS and then I'd get DS out while DH topped the hot water up and had a soak. So, I'm lifting DS out of the bath, he does the loudest fart I've ever heard him do, and there's a massive poonami, all in the bath and all over DH's head and face.

My sense of humour is extremely puerile and I cried laughing about it got weeks!

Very funny thread! Bit ashamed of mine, I had a night out with friends that was later than planned & although I didn't drink to a ridiculous level I felt like death the next morning Trouble was my dh was working all day so it was just me and twin dds for the whole day....
Morning nappy change was grim (they were around 10mnths old so proper poos) and got through breakfast with only a small amount of tears. I snoozed on the sofa for an hour whilst they watched cbeebies and felt mightily restored for the rest of the day. Bless my dds, they also like a pp mentioned kept patting my head and bestowing dribble kisses on my cheeks!!
Felt so guilty that day, though they were fine and unaffected by the whole thing, never done it again since

Mine was last week. DS has badly grazed his elbow. 2 days after he wanted his pj top off because it was making his elbow itchy. I pulled it over his head ripping the scab off in the process. He was sobbing 'mummy you hurt me...' with his now bleeding elbow. I felt awful. He's only 2 so I'm sure there's lots more to come.

DD was in a gorgeous white baby gro and I was breast feeding her on our fresh white linen (everything in my house is white which is ridiculously silly with a newborn). I was exhausted from lack of sleep and EBF so decided just to rest my eyes. When I finally opened my eyes (about an hour later I'm so lucky she was safe) DD had wriggled out her nappy somehow so there was poo and wee all over her clothes and our sheets. Poor little girl! Cue changing bedding and DD at a ridiculous hour and crying because I was the worst mum in the world.