To send this passive aggressive message

[dontbesillyhenry]

'Friend' of mine regularly leaves me out of meet ups with other friends. Last meet up I was not asked and expressed and interest. Was told great come next time date is x (very soon). Have heard jack shit. So have sent 'hi xxx I will not be able to attend on this occasion- I trust you will let me know the next date and I would love to see you there'

Can't the other friends let you know when the meet-ups are happening?

That's not passive aggressive, just a bit weirdly formal

It's been assumed friend x would tell me the details

rather than be passive aggressive, why not just ask for more details

I sympathise. Walked past a 'friend's' house on Friday night to discover that all of the other mums were all having a party.

Apparently I was discussed as well, and the birthday girl 'hadn't seen' me to invite me. (Our husband's work together, car share and no one sees me because I am work every morning and spend the afternoons taking my autistic child to therapy).

I have to admit, I did have a little cry.

Big girl pants are firmly on now though. Who needs friends like that, eh?

That's not passive aggressive

Pouncival done that before. Clear friend x wants to keep me away for some reason

If youre arsey, why would they invite you?

Why not just phone and ask what date it is on?

You're flogging a dead horse matey.

Do you have any other (real) friends that you could concentrate on?

If friend X doesn't want you there; they won't invite you. It doesn't matter what you do to try and entice them into telling you; they won't because they don't want you there. Get someone else to invite you, if you want to go - just say you don't talk to X often or she keeps forgetting to pass on the details or something.

that's a shame, I think I'd be looking for new friends

Just ask directly.

Are you sure the others actually want you there? Presumably they'd invite you if they did?

They're not your friends. Stop being passive aggressive and delete and block them from your brain. You'll be happier for it.

This person isn't your friend.
It's a shitty way to treat you though.
I would organise something myself (and invite her because that's the right thing to do) then you'll know where you stand with the other friends.

If they regularly leave you out I would just forget about them.

Just catch up with the friends you like separately? No point in going where you're not wanted, it will just be unpleasant.

You could send a friendly polite text "Are we still going out on X? If so, please could you let me know where and when to meet you?"

Or ask one of the others what the plans are

Or find some more reliable friends

Well after that text I doubt she will be inviting uou in future. I'm unsure why uou didn't just text her and ask for the details, something like "hey you mentioned getting together on X date, what's rhe plan?"

Or ask one of the others what the plans are

^^ do this. This one who seems to want to exclude you needs circumventing.

I doubt it's just her, is it? You would just message another friend in the group and say X always forgets to add me to the group texts... When's the next meet up again? Why aren't you?

I suspect she may just be doing their dirty work. Group text to all... Whoops, looks like X has forgotten to add me to the group email again - can anyone else tell me time/place for Y event?

If you hear nothing, then it's all of them.

That's not PA, that sounds like you are begging indirectly for an invite.
Don't bother , they sound like they're not your friends. It's probably all of them In on it too.

Bail out, get new friends!

Oh, this is tricky. Because if you try to see the friends without the person who excludes you unless they've got enough emotional intelligence to see what's going one they might see it as you creating the problem. Do it anyway and see what happens so you at least know where you stand.

That message wasn't PA, just strange.

"looking forward to Friday, what time and where about are we meeting?" would have been more normal.