To send this passive aggressive message

[dontbesillyhenry]

'Friend' of mine regularly leaves me out of meet ups with other friends. Last meet up I was not asked and expressed and interest. Was told great come next time date is x (very soon). Have heard jack shit. So have sent 'hi xxx I will not be able to attend on this occasion- I trust you will let me know the next date and I would love to see you there'

And 'I seem to have missed an invite' is on a par with 'did you mean to be so rude' - the other person just agrees with you and you look even sillier

I don't think this group of friends see you as a full member. You can either try and figure out why that might be (and it can't just be x as the others clearly aren't bothered about involving you) or find new friends.

You haven't told us why the other "friends" don't invite you, you are only focusing on one? Are they not really your friends?

Have you sent that text?
If not, just send a text 'hi, are we still meeting on x date, if so what are the plans.'
Personally I would keep pushing so that it would be VERY obvious that she is excluding you, then cut her out and when she tries to re-friend you just ask her bluntly 'are all your other toys broken?'
Job done.
And if you have sent it just ignore her in future. It is incredibly hurtful when shit like this happens.

Strange thread. Why didn't you ask x or one of the others for venue time and date? Your text is so very very far removed from what you intended, it isn't along the lines of the ol' PA 'seem to have missed the invite', it's almost pandering and I hate to use the word but needy.

If X is the gatekeeper, can you not send some form of group message to check details for meet up?

Or forget it and block her so that she can't re-friend you.

I used to meet weekly with friends x and y and our children. Friend x I was very close with, been friends 20 years, she always arranged the meet ups. One week I heard nothing and presumed we weren't meeting. I took DC to local park and there they were together. X hurried across the carpark as I parked up so to avoid speaking to me. I was very hurt.
Following week x and her family were holidaying with us, I kept it friendly for the week but backed the hell off since we got home. I may be overreacting but I find it hard to trust her again.

I would just keep rebuffing the invites until she gets the message and spend time with those who treat you well.

Don't rely on others to organize your social life, op, get in contact yourself

OP I think you missed the mark on both counts if a) you were aiming for a PA message and b) hoped friend would get the hint you were cutting ties. The whole "let me know the next date and I would love to see you there" reeks of desperation I'm afraid and definitely doesn't suggest I'm done with you.

Yes, some people in other threads do advise (wrongly IMO) to ask WHAT THE OP HAS DONE WRONG but in your case instead you have asked for another meeting after excusing yourself (and why should you have to?) for not being able to attend this one.

Personally, I wouldn't anymore go asking people why they don't want to be friends with me. I used to do it as a teenager and I have to admit that I still cringe when I think about it!!

I think that OP has realised that unless she initiates contact they can't be bothered to meet up with her so she wants to see if they can be bothered to invite her if they can avoid it. To be fair, she has said that she has asked for future meet ups so what else can she do? I think she has made the right decision but made the mistake of sending a final message or at least not worded properly.

I think you've sent a text message that you'd personally be upset to receive, but that most recipients would think the sender was a bit odd for sending. Its not going to make them feel chastised and its not going to make then feel warmer to you.
There were other, more effective ways of writing the text but really the best thing would have been to leave it, and genuinely forget about them. If I were you, I'd look to focus on spending your spare time with your real friends.

That isn't what you did though!! You said you couldn't come and asked her to let you know when the next one is?!

You're not making sense OP

Op chasing after someone to tell them to leave you alone is nuts. Simply stop playing the game. You are not a passive observer of your own life and helpless victim of your friend's behaviour. If you really want to cut her off then do so.

Do you ever organise anything and invite them ?

A group of friends and i eventually gave up inviting one friend because she never made an effort to instigate meeting and was always unavailable or cancelled at the last minute when we did invite her. To make matters worse she would always complain about the location and suggest we rearrange things to suit her, which we did only for her to cancel yet again. It just wasn't worth the hassle so we stopped inviting her.

So........... you're upset not to be invited, but your way of making that point is to say you can't go anyway.

I don't really understand the logic of that I'm afraid

. This is very confusing. And I bet the recipient of your text will be baffled as well. Why not just say what you want to them? Or - just ignore and find new friends? Life is far too short for all this bs.

Suck it up, kick it off the pitch and set up a date on your own terms.

But don't get upset, however tempted you may be. x

You class this person as a 'friend' OP? Really?

Some friend. Bin her off.

How do you know they were taking about you? Just curious!

Apologies - ignore my last response I misread something! I'd say you guys aren't really friends, you are 'frenemies'. You may as well be friendly because otherwise being bitter is bad for the soul but I wouldn't particularly bother with plans again x

Did you receive a reply?

Just because she adds you on FB doesnt mean that you have to accept, just because she seeks you out doesnt mean that you have to respond.

Ignore texts and calls and if she sees you in person just a breezy "Hi, been so busy....must catch up!" and go on your way. Basically treat her as she treats you.

Hi op hope you're ok. Did you send the text? How many are in the group and how friendly are you with them ? If it's just the recipient of the text I would have just asked out right and then cut my losses if ignored. I've been in a similar situation which went on for years , since I cut ties I've realised how badly it had affected me and I'm rather more choosy with friends!

I have this same situation, the most dominant member of our group of friends will always arrange get togethers for the days/evenings that I work, despite everyone being off work on the day that I don't, she's always done this and is very resistant to changing the days of the meet ups
Everything has to be convenient for her and she'll bulldoze her way to make it so. Definitely a frenemy OP, avoid her and arrange direct with the others