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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Karma :)

85 replies

doodlejump1980 · 08/05/2017 10:26

I'm due to be on the panel for an audition (local arts production) for someone who used to bully me at school. She doesn't know it's going to be me. This is karma isn't it?

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 08/05/2017 10:34

You've got the opportunity to be the bigger person here. Are you going to take it?

Ipsie · 08/05/2017 10:41

No. Karma happens in the next life not this. Also - if you believe that someone getting bad luck/treatment is due to karma you should be asking what you did to warrent the poor treatment or luck you received.

Sorry, it annoys me when karma is misunderstood.

Payback would be a more accurate description- you are going to pay the adult back for what she did as a child. Children make mistakes for all sorts of reasons. Adults are supposed to know better. Not always true I know. I would hope you would take the time to find out who she is as an adult - is she still the person who would do mean things to another or has she grown and learnt? If she has and you exert payback then you are the bully.

Would you wait until your child was grown to punish them?

isupposeitsverynice · 08/05/2017 10:42

Be the bigger person it will ultimately be much more satisfying

QuimWilde · 08/05/2017 10:42

You've got the opportunity to be the bigger person here. Are you going to take it?

This.

user1493022461 · 08/05/2017 10:43

No. She was a child, you're an adult. Grow up.

ghostyslovesheets · 08/05/2017 10:44

No you are talking about revenge - which seems daft

BenadrylCucumberpatch · 08/05/2017 10:44

No, to do something would be more schadenfreude than karma.
There's nothing karmic about taking pleasure from the misfortune of others. Whoever they are!

AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 08/05/2017 10:44

Agree with PP...you now have the opportunity to show that you're the bigger person, and that you hold no grudges.

FishInAWetSuitAndFlippers · 08/05/2017 10:46

That's not karma (not that I believe it exists) that's revenge.

BuzzKillington · 08/05/2017 10:47

Don't be daft.

Take the high ground and be a grown up.

JaxingJump · 08/05/2017 10:48

I hope you aren't talking about treating her unfairly because of things from your childhood.

That would be pretty low.

WorraLiberty · 08/05/2017 10:49

I'd say chance rather than karma.

AmateurSwami · 08/05/2017 10:49

No. Karma happens in the next life not this. Also - if you believe that someone getting bad luck/treatment is due to karma you should be asking what you did to warrent the poor treatment or luck you received.

This

Satsumer · 08/05/2017 10:50

It'll feel great to hold that kind of power of someone who made your life a misery. It's up to you to do what you feel is right with that power.

NavyandWhite · 08/05/2017 10:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Soubriquet · 08/05/2017 10:51

With my first miscarriage, I ended up in hospital. Who was the nurse looking after me? Oh yes my secondary school bully who tormented me for 4 years!

But.....she was actually very professional and kind to me when I needed it.

Yeah as a kid she was a dick, as an adult she's grown up and has become a better person for it

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 08/05/2017 10:54

She belighted your life as a child. I don't doubt made you petrified to go to school. Had you crying into your pillow at night feeling worthless.
Well now its your turn to have control.
What goes around comes around.
It even says so in the Bible.

EssentialHummus · 08/05/2017 10:55

You know what? Dress up, get yourself looking great and feeling confident while she's a pile of nerves, and then act like the bigger person you are.

LauraMipsum · 08/05/2017 10:56

I don't think the OP said she would treat the former bully badly or that it would make any difference to the outcome of the audition. Just that it will be nice to be in a position of relative power of someone who used to make her feel powerless.

That's how I read it anyway.

TheStoic · 08/05/2017 10:56

I hope she recognises you.

LozzaChops101 · 08/05/2017 10:57

Ha! Dream situation! A girl who made my life hell at school (with long term effects) is a model/actress and every time I see her on tv I want to kick the telly in.

However Grin I'd be tempted to let your one know you remember everything to make her, then be a responsible adult about it and judge her as you would the others. Because blah blah bigger person blah.

I don't really buy into this whole "she was a child, you're an adult" nonsense. We were all kids, and we weren't all savage bullies. 10+ is definitely old enough to know when you're being horrific. Teenagers even more so, and model and actress woman I went to school with was 16/17/18.

Anyway, good luck OP. I hope having to see her again isn't too much of a ball-ache.

ShotsFired · 08/05/2017 10:57

I think there is a halfway house option.

You could always point out to the person how you know them from school, don't they remember...? And watch the penny slowly drop.

But when it comes to any decisions, either be the boring bigger person; or recuse yourself from that one specific decision so there can be no allegation of impropriety.

MyPatronusIsAUnicorn · 08/05/2017 11:00

I was bullied by a twat from years 11-13. He was vile to me and thanks to him, my self esteem has never really recovered. Sod being the bigger person, hell would freeze over before I was nice to him as an adult. He knew what he was doing and took great pleasure in it. Even his friends would tell him to leave me alone, to no avail.

Do what you feel you should OP. Bigger person my arse.

kaitlinktm · 08/05/2017 11:02

or recuse yourself from that one specific decision so there can be no allegation of impropriety.

Yes, this would worry me a bit. Even if you don't ask to be excused from the audition, shouldn't you at least declare that you knew her at school - just in case she makes a complaint later if she doesn't get the part?

JessieLightyear · 08/05/2017 11:03

Do you think bullies look back and think, oh shit I was a twat to her?

I don't. I think they'll look back and believe they were justified.