Karma :)

[doodlejump1980]

I'm due to be on the panel for an audition (local arts production) for someone who used to bully me at school. She doesn't know it's going to be me. This is karma isn't it?

A lot of bullies don't even remember their victims.

I suspect that comes as a final kick in the teeth.

At least declare that you knew her at school - just in case she makes a complaint later if she doesn't get the part

And when asked why that would be a problem, she'd have to admit she was a complete cunt.

OP, YANBU. In reality, I'm sure all the people above would kill to be in your position had they actually been bullied at school.

It would be good to know how old you were, but as someone above said, over the age of 10 there's really no excuse. If she's a horrible person she's not going to be able to work with the rest of the cast anyway.

Don't give her anything. Even if there's a tiny, embarrassing role, don't be tempted. And don't be disarmed by how over the top nice she's going to be when she realises your part here.

Bigger person - pah! She was a bitch to you and she deserves nothing from you. She was a child - no excuse, as LozzaChops said we were all kids but didn't all behave like this.
If you must be the bigger person at least make her squirm first

'Do you think bullies look back and think, oh shit I was a twat to her?'

I think some do.

Bullies are nearly always battling their own demons. A fair number of them will grow up and sort themselves out and regret their past behaviour.

Some will continue to be twats.

Some people who were quiet or even decent people at school will have grown up to become twats.

It's still better to try and be the bigger person though. Otherwise it's just constant cycle of unpleasantness.

Some of you are jumping the gun massively!

The OP did not say she will ensure the school bully fails her audition - she merely said she will be on the panel.

You forget to put "lighthearted" in your OP.

A majority of those who bullied me at school are still pretty unpleasant to me as adults.

Hmm. Understandable, but I'd choose to be the grown-up one.

Unicorn. I bet his mother is proud of him. I bet his still doing it now picking on women. Put a fucking man against him though.

Meeting your childhood bully as an adult can be a bit of a mindfuck. Personally I was pleased that mine had grown into a happy and seemingly pleasant person (looking back i can see she was miserable as an adolescent and lacked self esteem and a whole bunch of other things). Still didn't want to socialise with her.

Lozza- I think we need some heavily dropped hints as to the model/actress in question....

Agree, people telling OP to grow up are jumping the gun.

You know what? Dress up, get yourself looking great and feeling confident while she's a pile of nerves, and then act like the bigger person you are.

This.

Also, I think I would be a bit irritated as a Hindu or Buddhist to see people misappropriate the word 'karma'. It is not about revenge.

I think smiling benignly on the panel as she recognises you would be most satisfying.

Get revenge, and enjoy it.

It is :)

Yes Lozza initials even.
Hate bullies.

Yes we were all children and not all savages etc but we didn't all have the same situations hormones insecurities. Some people handle life better than others. Some kids have clear reasons for how they act others seem to have no reason. We are not in their heads tho.

I have a friend who provides a great life for her kid who despite this is awful to her parents and others. There is clearly something wrong with the child and they are desperately trying to get help for her. No SEN diagnosis as yet - suspect depression and anxiety as cause. Should this child be written off as a monster and in later years when hopefully she has received help and sorted her out forever look over her shoulder as adults believe that a child should be judged as an adult and so deserve payback many many years after their wrong doing?

Remember- those lovely toddlers, juniors turn into teens - your angelic child could well become someone you don't recognise and one day could be the person you are gleefully condemning right now. Who is to say they haven't already said unkind words to others? I know if parents who have been genuushocked to find out their kid is a bully. They were the same people who would support this 'karma' revenge attitude that many here do - would say the kids know what they are doing.

To be bullied is shit. I've been there as a kid and an adult. Best payback is to be successful and not let them get to you. But honestly even when being bullied as a kid I myself was a shit on occasion to others - I did come to my senses and stop and even became a protector to one person. Doesn't mean that I wasn't briefly a bully despite the fact I should have known better. I was a KID tho- acting out, taking my frustrations on others not seeing or knowing but ignoring that I should know better. As a kid I lacked the discipline, the tools and the guidance.

How many of you wait a year or more to punish your child for something they know they should not have done but did anyway? No? So why is it ok for you to think it ok for this adult to be punished for their wrong doing as a kid?

This is a great example as to why the human race is a steaming pile of crap.

Hope you behave like an adult ought to OP. I will leave you all to it as I know from experience those who wish carry pitchforks will do so no matter what is said....

JessieLightyear, I don't think school bullies remember much about their victims for the most part. My bullying shaped me for life and completely destroyed my education, but I don't think it means a thing to my bullies now, 10+ years down the line.

OP, don't be surprised if she doesn't even recognise you. But, you know, if you want to be as critical of her as you can reasonably be then go ahead. Fuck her.

I would love this, it's reversal of power already. No need to anything other than professional.

*be

If the audition is for a paid role then you should probably declare that you know her. As others posted, if she doesn't get the role she may claim that you unfairly judged her, and if she does get the role, others who are auditioning may claim that you were impartial because you went to school together.

I sometimes think they don’t even see how they behaved as bullying. I incurred the wrath of the school bully for a term because I used ‘her’ sewing machine in HE. She was vicious to me, but eventually got bored and moved on to someone else. (I can’t say it greatly affected me, I just used to avoid her!). Lo and behold, ten years later she comes up to me at the station when I was waiting for a train. All smiles, telling me how she was now a policewoman(!) and had a little girl, etc etc. Literally the only words she ever said to me at school were insults – I honestly don’t know how she remembered our ‘relationship’! I didn’t say anything at the timely, because frankly what was the point. But I’ve always remembered how weird it was.

And yes, for the matter in hand try and be the bigger person OP.

I’m also desperate to know who Lozza’s actress is!

It’s amazing how there are always so many heartbroken parents on here talking about how their DCs are being bullied, how badly it affects them, and how it’s ruining the lives of the entire family. Yet now the OP is being spouted at to basically forget about it and grow up.

Bullying ruins lives. It’s not something that people just forget about and move on from. The OP is perfectly justified in wanting to feel a teensy bit smug at now having the upper hand.

Lozza give us a clue.... go on ...!!