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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's weird when women take their DHs clothes shopping with them?

210 replies

Madmotherintheattic · 07/05/2017 20:10

I mean when the blokes sit on those chairs outside the changing rooms and give them opinions on every outfit they come out in. I don't mean special occasion outfits but everyday stuff. And then accompany them round the shop feeling material and picking out styles? I see it a lot in M&S. Is it weird or is it me? I don't know whether to feel happy for them that their husbands are so involved or think I should just mind my own business, but instead, I find myself thinking I'd rather stab myself in the eye with a pencil than take DH to watch me try on skirts in M&S and comment on patterns and shapes.

OP posts:
IfNot · 07/05/2017 22:44

God I would never take my kid shopping for clothes. I already know the limited range of stuff he would wear (no buttons, no scratchy fabrics, no collars). If I took him he would just go " yeah, get that, can we go now?" and then never wear it.
Loving the gauntlet of dementors in the man creche MorrisZapp Grin

limitedperiodonly · 07/05/2017 22:52

If we want a day out we go to the races or our with friends, somewhere with the horses or out to lunch. My idea of "quality time" is not sitting my DH on some salubrious changing room chair whilst I parade in front of him.

Your day at the races would bore me to tears. I like lunch though, either with or without shopping or friends. We're all different. It's a wonderful world, isn't it?

Allofaflumble · 07/05/2017 22:56

I hate shopping with anyone so for me it would be wierd and I would hate any man advising me what I should buy, which is probably why I'm single!

ginsparkles · 07/05/2017 22:56

I take my husband. He has a great eye for things he thinks will look nice and suit me and he is honest if he doesn't think something does. Plus he carries all the bags.

problembottom · 07/05/2017 22:58

My BIL always comes shopping with me and one of my DSis. He stands outside the shops on his mobile looking pissed off, walks about two metres behind us in between stores and even hates stopping for coffee and cake. I find it bemusing but DSis insists he loves it and wouldn't want to miss out!

My DP says he'd rather chop his balls than come with me to the Trafford Centre (big Northern shopping mall which get slightly manic on a weekend) which is charming. He gives me his credit card and begs me to buy his clothes for him the lazy so and so. He will also never return anything, ever. Hmm

Voice0fReason · 07/05/2017 23:01

I don't NEED my DH with me to buy clothes, most of the time I don't, but sometimes we are out together or we both have things we want to get, so we'll go shopping together. We might go and grab some lunch together too. He offers an opinion if I ask him for one and doesn't if I don't. I don't understand why this is an issue for anyone else!

BarbaraofSeville · 07/05/2017 23:07

We're not complaining about the men who like it and are useful. We are complaining about those who clearly hate every single second of the experience and just get in the way.

Why don't they stay at home or do something else? It's not quality time or a fun day out.

Tw1nsetAndPearls · 07/05/2017 23:16

barbara I agree that it is daft to force a husband to go along if he doesn't want to however I can't see many posters saying that they force their husbands or that the husbands go and act all miserable and yet there is still a lot of criticism and even some ire being directed at people.It is very odd.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/05/2017 23:18

"We're not complaining about the men who like it and are useful. We are complaining about those who clearly hate every single second of the experience and just get in the way."

You might not be, @BarbaraofSeville, but others have made no such distinction.

TheLesserOfTwoWeevils · 07/05/2017 23:22

I can't handle clothes shopping on my own with a 9 month old and 3 year old so DH comes too. He doesn't stay at home with the kids because we get very few days off together so we like to spend the time together. We don't have shopping trips very often at all so we tend to make a day of it and shop for him and the kids as well, go for lunch, take the kids somewhere fun as well, that kind of thing.

YouCantArgueWithStupid · 07/05/2017 23:26

My DH is bloody amazing a choosing clothes for me! He 99% of the time gets it right! I'd trust him to go out but me a whole outfit for a special occasion

limitedperiodonly · 07/05/2017 23:29

I don't understand how these men are forced to go shopping and why it bothers anyone about how some couples like to spend their time.

True, some of these men may be silent victims of domestic violence. But most of them are people who sit patiently waiting while their wives are doing things that interest them and then go off and do their own thing, perhaps asking their wives to boredly indulge them.

TheNiffler · 07/05/2017 23:42

Inanity? Why so, Psoloman?

What's wrong with actually enjoying the company of your partner and children? You sound really quite bitter, you'll be accusing me of being a vanilla sheeple next, bless your bitter little socks.

TheFairyCaravan · 07/05/2017 23:51

We must be a right weird bunch to some of you lot.

A few weeks ago DS1 (22) wanted a new suit so he asked me to go along with him to buy it. I was the one sitting outside the changing room while he came out to show me fecking hundreds about half a dozen.

If either DH or I want new clothes we always go together. We value each other's opinion and we like each other's company. We live in the arse end of nowhere, too, so clothes shopping is a day out and something we rarely do. Mostly we shop online.

Just do what makes you happy and leave the rest to us to do the same.

TheNiffler · 07/05/2017 23:56

I find it quite baffling, Fairy. Given that the majority will have at least one half of the partnership working full time, why on earth wouldn't you want to spend your time off with them. Otherwise, well, what's the point of being together. Same with your children, why bother if you don't want to spend your free time with them. Weird, and a bit sad.

Astro55 · 08/05/2017 00:02

why on earth wouldn't you want to spend your time off with them

It's not about the time - it's the shopping - why not foto the park or picnic - have a day out swimming or other fun activities

Shopping isn't fun! Nor is it a family activity

user1491326393 · 08/05/2017 00:06

Er... I don't think im sad for not dragging my kids to the shopping centre when it's their idea of the least fun thing EVER. They would rather tidy their rooms. Why would I want to waste my time making them miserable in the name of quality time??!!!

Also, does your adult son not prefer to shop with his friends?? Or is it that you were the funding for that particular outfit?!

Sample1936 · 08/05/2017 00:07

Husband might be gay?

mumeeee · 08/05/2017 00:08

YABU. I do go clothes shopping myself but sometimes my Dh comes with me and I do ask his opinion. It's not because I wear what he likes it's just that a second opinion is often good.

TheNiffler · 08/05/2017 00:12

Because there's only so much you can fit into 2 days. And not every child enjoys the park. Mine loves shopping, still do.

And gay? Why on earth would you think that, just because someone likes shopping?

TheFairyCaravan · 08/05/2017 00:23

Also, does your adult son not prefer to shop with his friends?? Or is it that you were the funding for that particular outfit?!

My adult son is in the army. He was home on leave, which is 150 miles away from where he is based. It was block leave so all his mates were at home, or on holiday, all over the place. He wanted to go shopping on a Wednesday so all his mates at home were at work. DH was at work, DS2 was away at uni. I don't work because I'm disabled so he asked me to go with him and he paid for the suit.

We do a lot together in our family. We're all very close. It's not unusual that DS1 asked me to go shopping with him. It's not the first time and I doubt it will be the last.

limitedperiodonly · 08/05/2017 00:36

Why do people care so much about how other people choose to spend their time?

GreenHillsSunnySkies · 08/05/2017 00:54

DH clothes shopping with me? No. DS2 ditto. Quality time with them does not involve shopping. DS1 however - yes. I love shopping with him whether it's for him or for me. Mostly I do my clothes shopping alone if DS1 or my close friend who loves shopping are not available, I prefer it that way to having a reluctant companion. DH does most of his online. I can't get overly bothered or judgy over what others choose to do, some make it a family day out, others drag along unwilling family members, some shop alone - it's definitely case of you do you.

notangelinajolie · 08/05/2017 00:55

You sound jealous OP. Why wouldn't you want your best friend there? Clothes shopping is the biggest bore ever - having someone with you is nice. Even better when that person actually wants to be there with you. Me and DH like each others company - I'm very sorry for you that you don't feel the same way about your partner/DH.

kali110 · 08/05/2017 01:08

Not weird.
Dh and i enjoy spending time together, some of it is spent shopping.
I like his advice, though i'll ignore it if i want something!
I need him with me to carry stuff, to be with me due to disabilities.