The BBC are absolutely insensitive knob heads?

[plastique]

Just watching the BBC 2 programme The Instant Gardener and I'm feeling slightly sick but very angry.
The lovely couple having a garden makeover have had 2 rounds of failed IVF, have decided to take a year off to gather themselves. People having deal with infertility know what I mean....BUT the TV presenter is obviously pregnant, hiding it with a flimsy scarf doesn't quite work!! How the hell did that amazing couple deal with that, feeling very sad for them at the moment

Also, you can't look at a pregnant lady and know her fertility history. We don't know how long it took HS to get pregnant, or how it came about. I'm pregnant from IVF and not making an announcement on Facebook because I know it cuts deep to those struggling with infertility.. but I won't make myself any less pregnant for people I meet through work or in a coffee shop. I empathise strongly with anyone struggling to conceive but I still wouldn't expect to be benched due to being pregnant (it's kinda illegal, isn't it?!)

Do you think pregnant people should be locked away out of sight of the public in case they upset somebody?

Nasty comments sleep free.

I know someone, who lost their baby when she was around 15 months. I do understand your feelings sleepfree. She, too has a rainbow baby and I'm really happy for her. It must be hard to feel like this when you don't want to anymore. Those feelings really aren't serving you any purpose apart from guilt.

OP, YABVVU and, frankly, ridiculous.

Well maybe all pregnant women should be forced to go into hiding, or custody, in case their bellies upset anyone. What about women who still look pregnant after the baby is born? Perhaps all women of child bearing age should be locked up just in case.

A friend of my sons was paralysed in an accident, I wonder if other young men walking round offend him?

Who knows what might offend other people but we all have to live our lives and do our jobs.

sleep, please get some counselling.

I couldn't have put it better, grannytomine.

I doubt the bbc made the programme anyway, it would have been an independent production company.
Some people look for offence on behalf of others when the individuals involved aren't the least bit offended.
Bizarre

"" I am super sensitive to infertility, I've been there, but are on the other side now with 3 dc""

I'd say that you aren't fully 'on the other side', if you can feel sick watching television.

Every Woman has got the right to celebrate her pregnancy,you apply sensitivity towards others, in the same way as you would, if speaking to someone who may never have what you've got, but that's it.

OP
You have no idea how the couple on the programme felt. They would have had some say in the matter you know.

And as for watching a programme the whole way through 'because I like the programme' while feeling sick and angry is your choice. There is an 'off' button you know. You cant force yourself to watch something which upsets you then go on to complain about it on someone elses behalf, you are not complaining on behalf of the couple you are complaining for yourself. You are projecting your feelings onto them which is not your responsibility.

From what you are saying the BBC would have got it wrong anyway they did it, not focussing on the 'bunp' was wrong but if they had then that would have been 'insensitive' too. TBH I have never watched a programme with a pregnant presenter where they have focused on her bump, its all about the show not her pregnancy!

After my child died it was hard to be around little ones but I would never have suggested it would be wrong to be around them, what on earth op!

Wow!

Some of these comments...

Since becoming a mother I've realised that we (women) are our own worst enemies. We don't know the struggles of other people and like pp said every woman deserves the right to celebrate her pregnancy. Maybe you don't want to celebrate with them... but allow them their moment!

.... and maybe get some help if your issues run so deep.

Yes counselling, marvellous, well book it immediately expat. Funny how I find you spewing bile over countless threads, particulatly this morning and yet I need counselling. Fucking hell

I think you should hide the thread Sleep if it is making you this angry.

Sleep you seem disproportionately angry and aggressive. Are you usually like this?

Flossy I am allowed to in my head think anything I like whether it offends your sensitivities or not. I might see a fat person and think 'woooah you need a diet', I might even see a badly behaved child and 'think fucking hell is anyone parenting that child??!!!!' andvyih know what, it might have SEN and I judged!!!!! You cannot govern my thoughts and just because I think it it doesn't mean I want to commit a violent act or force some salad down someone's throat. The mistake I made was dating to voice a thought hear, and of course the usual reaction is pearl clutching and hand wringing.

Hiding the thread makes perfect sense and I appreciate your guidance in doing so.

Hang on Sleep i made no comment regarding how you feel about pregnant women

I suggested you hide the thread simply because it is clearly upsetting you!

SleepFreeZone

Even after using my rainbow baby I still despise pregnant women. It's horrible to despise pregnant women, but what does the first half of that sentence mean? I'm sorry, everyone else seems to understand but I don't.

Sorry I left out the quotation marks above.

To have an opinion is now a tantrum... Oh please!!

Yes OP you are having a tantrum and continuing to do so. I dont think there is 1 poster on this thread that agrees with you the the BBC are knob heads

If they were using odd camera angles to shoot round her bump, that won't have made any difference to what the couple could see. I think that would be an odd directorial choice to make.

Everyone is affected differently by infertility, I'm thankfully at the other end now, having had 3 dc.

I'm the first to be sympathetic to someone dealing with infertility when they feel that others are being insensitive, but given that you now have not one but three children, I think your vicarious reaction was a bit over the top. If you haven't managed to get over your feelings from before you had children, perhaps it's worth having some counselling.