Police Harassment

[Morgani97]

Desperate for some advice police,Long backstory to this. My 13 yro dd has been bullied at school for over a year,reported this to the school almost on a weekly basis yet nothing had been done. Cut a long story short dd began self harming last summer,her attitude was vile which i totally understand. However ive met a new partner who is lovely very patient and tolerant and gets on well with dd, She asked him to come along to parents evening which he did.After this there was an incident at school which resulted in dd being sent to isolation. The following day i decided to keep dd off school as she was upset about the day before. I rang the school twice and informed them she wasnt coming in and arranged a meeting for the following monday. I then went to a course i was enrolled in. I got a call from my partner telling me a teacher from the school along with a police officer and a cpso and had taken my daughter back to school. When i got home my partner informed me he had been questioned (not under caution) the police officer was offensive in his manner of questioning. I went to the school and picked my dd up she was extremely upset as she had heard everything that had been said. I put a complaint in to the school as was unsure why she had been taken back to school.Then yesterday the same police officer turned up at my home with two women who wanted to read out claires law to me ( i know all about my partners past and have no concerns) The day before a letter was delivered by hand to the school to the chairman of govenors which seems a bit of a coincidence .Again the people that turned up at our home were offensive and were asked to leave 7 times what the hell can i do w are all so upset about this which has stemmed from bullying. I should add that the bullying has been done by ten asian youths not that the creed or colour matters but obviously the school picked up on this .Sorry for the long post i just wanted to get all points across.

Shouting at the OP is not helpful. Can this stop please.

Well done Morgan for getting back in contact with the Police. Please do not tell your partner what you are doing. If he gets wind of it, it might place you in further danger.

Grief lovely how this man is the one with the violent past which OP has just found out about and is about to go and have a meeting with the police about, yet of course the woman's a shit parent.

Christ when are we going to stop blaming women for men's violence FFS.

Well done for getting this sorted out. I know it can't be easy but you are doing what is right for your daughter.

The Op hasnt just found out.

She already knew he had been in prison and the DV allegations.

Christ when are we going to stop blaming women for men's violence FFS

Nobody is blaming women for mens violence. We are blaming this woman for extremely poor parenting. Totally different thing.

Exactly, she knew all about his criminal and violent past, and still moved him in with her vulnerable child mere weeks after meeting him online.

When are we going to expect women to take responsiblity for their own actions more accurately?

Hmmmm

So glad to hear you're taking it seriously and going to speak to them. You're doing the right thing. Good luck.

Yelling at op will achieve nothing. Good on you for going and finding out op.

Thank you for those agreeing with me that it is shit parenting to move a new boyfriend in within days/weeks of meeting him, then fucking off for the day leaving him with a vulnerable and distressed 13 year old girl. And I would say that even if the even had not been aware of his violent past.

We are blaming this woman for extremely poor parenting.

Extremely poor parenting? Calm down.

She sounds like she's being manipulated by a man who probably has a long history of manipulating women, and she is misguided in her feeling that previous offences shouldn't follow a person for life - sometimes they should, especially when there is a child to protect. But abusive men very rarely signpost that fact in the early days. Lots of very good mothers end up in relationships with abusive men. And its not their fault.

Yes they do, for many reasons. But very good mothers do not meet a man online, find him odd in person, and then immediately move them in with very vulnerable children, knowing they are violent criminals with a history of domestic violence.

Don't you see how harmful it is to tell women like the OP its not your fault, it's all someone elses fault? It absolves her of responsibility for her actions and normalises her behavior, allowing her to rationalise it as something she can't control. SHE did this.

I am sorry but even if he was the perfect man you dont do this

Moving someone in after 3/4 months and leaving your child (your vulnerable child) with him is not right.

The OP needs to know that. If she is so vulnerable herself that she cant keep her dd safe in her own home then the school, police and social services should be involved.

Placemarking... im hoping this has a good ending for OP and her DD

Of course lots of good mothers end up with abusive men. How many threads are there on here about men who leave their partners to move in with the other woman within weeks and it's all okay because they were in a sexless marriage and they've met the love of their lives. Where's the difference?

I'm inclined to agree, Grief

Anyway, the fact that the OP is going to the Police now is a relief. Hopefully she (a) has someone with her for moral support and (b) her dd is currently safe and not home alone with this man.

Best of luck OP. Please keep us posted.

User you are the one poster on here who is being abusive and you need to rein it in. Seriously have concerns about your posting style on here.

Really hope you're ok op.

Wow op, you must be terrified. PPs are correct in saying this must be serious and the police are seriously concerned for your welfare. Well done for going to speak to them op, it's very important. I think we all realise how big and scary of a step that is, especially when you think your partner us a good man.

How many threads are there on here about men who leave their partners to move in with the other woman within weeks and it's all okay because they were in a sexless marriage and they've met the love of their lives. Where's the difference?

Elendon i genuinely dont understand what you are saying.

Of course good mothers end up in abusive relationships. Not sure what affairs have to do with this or the Ops situation.

Please be careful about confronting him when you have all the facts. Ask the police to be there if you decide he can't stay.

I hope you get the answers you need. I suspect he's gaslighting. In 2009, the average sentence for rape was 8 years. Manslaughter gets 2--10 years. I'm not suggesting he committed either of these crimes, just that staying in prison for 4 years is not a short stretch and sentences are often halved for good behaviour. 8 year sentences are for serious crimes.

You don't understand Leda because you refuse to.

There are loads and loads of threads about husbands moving in with women they've been having an affair with, sometimes it lasted just weeks. A lot of these women they move in with have children. But it's deemed okay.

Besides the issue with your partner/school/police/Clares Law, can you move your dd to a different school, to get her away from the bullying?

I dontthink the police are harrassing you, I think they are trying to protect you and your daughter, your partner is obviously being watched, you know like peados do? they have to register everytime they move, if I were you I would pop to thepolice station and ask them about your partner, he maybe lying to you.