Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that some people live in too big houses?

604 replies

URSick · 05/05/2017 11:42

Lots of people live in (in my opinion) already big houses yet they want to move into even bigger ones.
I see so many families where all the children have their own bedrooms, bathrooms, big bedroom for the parents, guest room, study, living room, and yet they never seem to be satisfied and want to move into a bigger house. They all want playroom for the children. What's the point, when they could easily play in their bedrooms or the living room? There are houses where everybody has their own level, plus bathrooms on the landings, more toilets than family members, and yet they want Buckingham palace. It's good to have enough space and not be in each other's pockets but am I the only one who thinks these people are greedy and unreasonable? You don't need to live in a mansion to be a happy family.
Not to mention those houses where entire rooms are never used, lots of space is taken up by massive stairs and there are parts of the house that are just walkways.
What's your take on it?

OP posts:
HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 05/05/2017 20:28

Op I agree with you.

There is a great minimalism documentary on Netflix showing that families basically only use 20% of their home (in America). Those mostly empty rooms are costing them in money, time (cleaning, furnishing, repairing) and costing everyone environmentally (building, furnishing, heating).

Yes you can have separate rooms for every activity, but that comes at a cost to you and the environment. You could also have clever multi use adaptable spaces, pay off your mortgage quicker, and have more time and money for other things. For some reason lots of people choose the former.

If you live in a big house your stuff and expectations expand so it feels normal and necessary. I grew up in a too big house and it was always cluttered and full as my patents kept everything and invented functions for all the rooms.

I recently talked to a friend about moving up North and she immediately said "oh wow, you'll be able to get a really big house". Not really nice, or really well located, or really modern, but really BIG. It was such an odd comment. I find it confusing that she bought a large house, but then says that she is exhausted and can't afford various things that would make her life easier, eg a cleaner. I find it odd to prioritise accumulating more owned space over making your actual life happier. Yes obviously her decision, but I find the reasoning odd.

Ecureuil · 05/05/2017 20:31

I'm minimalist and live in a fairly big house. No clutter. I like space, not stuff.

JacquesHammer · 05/05/2017 20:33

You could also have clever multi use adaptable spaces, pay off your mortgage quicker, and have more time and money for other things

It's an odd assumption that those two are mutually exclusive.

arethereanyleftatall · 05/05/2017 20:33

Hopelessly - my lovely big house has made me happier, I smile every time I turn in to the driveway.

user1493022461 · 05/05/2017 20:34

All that money you have sacrificed for that extra room to shut your kids into, where you could have spent it on doing amazing things together instead

You seem to have confused playroom with prison in the haze of your seething envy.
No sacrifice, we can afford to rent the extra space easily, and do amazing things together too. Try to not spontaneously combust with jealousy Smile

Isadora2007 · 05/05/2017 20:36

We have a gym! 🙈
And a spare room. No longer got a
Playroom though.

Frillyhorseyknickers · 05/05/2017 20:39

I think people have different views of "big". Unnecessarily large houses for me equate to stately homes, and I'd still love to live in Wentworth with its 150 bedrooms.

As it stands this is an inherited family home, and even if I wanted to downsize into your average four bed semi, it's in the middle of our farm and who else is going to want to live in the middle of a working farm? As it is, I love our crumbling old house ❤

Crumbs1 · 05/05/2017 20:45

It's not a living room it's a sitting room. Children make a mess and sofas would likely be marked if it were used to play in. Are they meant to carry toys up and down stairs or should there be a hideously ugly crate of plastic in the corner?
As they age the playroom became the games room where they could play pool or table tennis with friends without irritating everyone else.

As they get older they don't want to be bathing together or queuing for ages. They want a room to retreat to with their partners and a bathroom for themselves.
More space means less squabbling.
Housing is good investment.
12 foot Christmas tree in hall looks stunning.
What's not to like apart from heating costs, changing beds and Council tax?

GivenupontheGarden · 05/05/2017 20:48

Bibity Where did I say you or anyone For that matter, was jealous of people with big houses? Hmm I said It is clear people generally donot buy what they have no interest in (paraphrasing) vice versa. That was in response to people saying, I don't see the point in big houses', of course they wouldn't. Please do not put words in my mouth.

junebirthdaygirl · 05/05/2017 20:51

As a teacher if l ever ask the children what would you do if you were rich they always say buy a big mansion..l never understand why its important even to children. I expect them to say buy Man Utd or something exciting. I live in a biggish house and we are inclined to gather together in the same spa es but it was great with teens as plenty of room for friends hanging out so mept them off the street.

topcat2014 · 05/05/2017 20:53

Not RTFT -but, IL's have a house large enough to need to refer to bedrooms by colour (ie the green room, the blue room), main and second kitchen, snooker room, 2 attics.

They are happy, and earned all the money - whilst employing others on good salaries for many years. - also paying shitloads of tax.

I don't begrudge them it

itsacatastrophe · 05/05/2017 20:55

You seem to have confused playroom with prison in the haze of your seething envy.
No sacrifice, we can afford to rent the extra space easily, and do amazing things together too. Try to not spontaneously combust with jealousy

Trust me, you have absolutely nothing for me to be jealous over. I could win the lottery tomorrow and I would still have no intention of buying a large house with a separate playroom. Enjoy your house, I will enjoy mine Smile

goose1964 · 05/05/2017 20:57

It is a pity some people live in huge houses when others are unable to find a decent place to live.

Flortle · 05/05/2017 20:58

We just moved from a five bed to a six bed detached. There are six of us.

The house is double the size of our old one and shock horror, has six bathrooms and a massive garden. We have an office and a spare room because we WFH and have guests over.

The kids all have double bedrooms. Given how hard it is to get on the property ladder, I want them to have sufficient space as adults, not just as children. We also have 3 living rooms because when the kids want to watch TV in one room and play Xbox in another, they can actually do that now and not argue over the TV... and DH and I still have our own space.

We work our arses off. We can afford it. And I'm pretty bloody happy about our choice so have a Biscuit

And I say this as someone who spent 20 years happily living in two bedroom terraced houses.

OhTheRoses · 05/05/2017 21:00

Providing people have provide their accommodation I don't see the issue. Our house was built in 1925. What would be the point of knocking it down and replacing it with several? It could I suppose be converted into three or four flats but someone would have to pay me the market value and destroy something that is rather attractive. Oh I guess some flats could go up in the garden as well - plenty of space for about 20 plus,parking. Then there'll be complaints about fat cat developers and pressure on schools and hospitals.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 05/05/2017 21:03

Givenup I think you said people who have no interest in large houses have never lived in one? I was just posting my experience.

Then there was a new paragraph (indicating moving on from content of first paragraph) where I commented on other posters on the thread who write anyone's objections off as "jealousy".

DontBeASalmon · 05/05/2017 21:06

Where I live (nowhere special in London) 1 more bedroom costs £100,000 minimum. That soon sharpens up ideas of what is essential or not.

true in a way, but when you see how much and how quickly the prices are going up, I am so grateful I always bought the biggest I could afford. It's not just the need for space, financially it was worth doing.

happypoobum · 05/05/2017 21:07

I live in a big house - I don't really see why anyone else would give a shit other than jealousy.

If you aren't jealous then why is it even on your radar OP?

I have friends whose houses are bigger than mine and I never give it a second thought. Why is it "greedy and unreasonable?"

MaQueen · 05/05/2017 21:07

Our house is fairly big.

I love that DH and I have our own bathroom, and the DDs share a separate bathroom.

I love having a nice sized, guest bedroom for friends and family to stay.

I love that our DDs both have bedrooms big enough to accomodate their beds, a study area and seating for when their friends come over (I certainly don't want to share the sitting room with a gaggle of teenage girls ta very much).

I love that we had a playroom when the DDs were little...could just quietly close the door on all the chaos. I love that the playroom is now DD1's art studio, as she intends taking A Level Art, Graphics & Photography and thence onto Art School.

I love that we have a study, with wall to wall book shelves gor my umpty million books - so I can read in peace when DH is watching the rugby/golf in the living room.

Why wouldn't you love these things...?

brexitstolemyfuture · 05/05/2017 21:15

Op I agree but you won't get much support on mn, as people here on the large are quite materialistic.

I see it all the time people just wanting more and more in their life and never happy with what they have got. If everyone loved like the average Brit we would need 6 earth's!

I would like to ditch 90% of my stuff and live in one of those tiny homes.

brexitstolemyfuture · 05/05/2017 21:15

Lived! Lol

DontBeASalmon · 05/05/2017 21:15

I would like to ditch 90% of my stuff and live in one of those tiny homes.

No one is stopping you!

toomanyloos · 05/05/2017 21:16

My take on it is there are houses that size, and someone has to live in them. If they have the means to buy them and pay the frankly outrageous stamp tax bills on them well fair play to them (and the government is laughing all the way home to the bank). I can't imagine what your take on mansion tax would be Grin

brexitstolemyfuture · 05/05/2017 21:17

Planning permission in the UK is stopping me! In USA and other countries it's much easier.

BadTasteFlump · 05/05/2017 21:21

Actually i think the problem is that houses nowadays are built way too small and people are expcted to just put up with it (because they have no choice I suppose).

Our house is probably pretty averaged-sized for the time it was built (1920) - but it has a lovely big garden, plenty of rooms and all the rooms are a decent size and nice & airy. I think it's an absolute piss take how houses built nowadays are so tiny - third 'bedrooms' are barely big enough to fit a single bed, let alone any other furniture and doorways are too narrow to get average sized sofas through (I speak from bitter experience with our first home many years ago).

There are some new 'detached' houses being built near me and they are so close together I can't believe they got planning permission.