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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that some people live in too big houses?

604 replies

URSick · 05/05/2017 11:42

Lots of people live in (in my opinion) already big houses yet they want to move into even bigger ones.
I see so many families where all the children have their own bedrooms, bathrooms, big bedroom for the parents, guest room, study, living room, and yet they never seem to be satisfied and want to move into a bigger house. They all want playroom for the children. What's the point, when they could easily play in their bedrooms or the living room? There are houses where everybody has their own level, plus bathrooms on the landings, more toilets than family members, and yet they want Buckingham palace. It's good to have enough space and not be in each other's pockets but am I the only one who thinks these people are greedy and unreasonable? You don't need to live in a mansion to be a happy family.
Not to mention those houses where entire rooms are never used, lots of space is taken up by massive stairs and there are parts of the house that are just walkways.
What's your take on it?

OP posts:
Ecureuil · 05/05/2017 18:34

The OP isn't talking about mansions. She's talking about children having a bedroom each, and maybe a playroom...

We're renting but looking to buy. Ideally we want 4/5 beds (IL's live abroad and we need a spare room for when they come to stay, DH works from home so we want a study, the DC currently share a room but we'd like them to have the option not to when they're older), 3 reception rooms so we can use one as a playroom, large garden for the DC to play in etc. It's not greed, it's just choosing what will be the best fit for our family, within our budget.

DontBeASalmon · 05/05/2017 18:36

we came to the conclusion that you could only use/be in one room at a time.

that's where I disagree. I don't mean people should have a big house, of course not, if you are happy in a smaller place, a cute cottage, or a flat, it's none of my business and I really don't care.

In my case, I enjoy having the space not to pack everything and put things away at lunch or diner because I need the table, not to have to move people around when we have friends or family staying over. I like being able to read a book whilst other people are watching tv in another room and so on.
There should not be any rule on how people live, I personally would be happy in a bigger house than I have, by 6 or 7 bedrooms, why not.

Kursk · 05/05/2017 18:39

bibbitybobbityyhat

Measure the length and width of your house and multiply by the number of floors

GivenupontheGarden · 05/05/2017 18:40

Quite clearly, people who dont see the point in big houses, don't have big houses, and those who do see the point, have them or aspire to.

It's irrelevant wether you see the point in what someone else owns, so long as it's legal and not harming you.

LakieLady · 05/05/2017 18:41

I would love a really big house, and there's only me, DP and the dog.

I'd like a playroom, so that when all DPs extended family visit, the kids can fuck off and keep themselves to themselves. I'd like a master suite with a really big bedroom, two en-suites and two dressing rooms, so I don't have to deal with DPs mess. I'd like a library, where I could recline, read and listen to soothing music, a massive kitchen diner so we can have everyone for Christmas without having to squish up so we're all on top of each other (this would require room for a table that can seat around 20 people), lots of bathrooms and bedrooms so we can have all our friends to stay, a walled garden, a paddock (so I can get a couple of donkeys), my own wood, a lake or large pond and an orchard.

Oh, and it would have to have a big garage, as we have 2 cars, a motorhome and 4 motorbikes. And no near neighbours.

As you can tell, I've given this a lot of thought. Shameful for a socialist, isn't it?

NavyandWhite · 05/05/2017 18:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

itsacatastrophe · 05/05/2017 19:10

OP I actually completely agree with you. It's also environmentally irresponsible to live in a property far bigger then you need but that's not really the point. I don't get the bigger is better attitude. I don't get why kids need playrooms. In all fairness I don't get why kids need so many toys that require a special room to play in. But hey, I'm a minimalist. I only live in a 3 bed house because I have 4 dc. I can't wait to move back into a little flat again.
All that cleaning and tidying in big house.... no thanks, you guys can keep them

Ecureuil · 05/05/2017 19:30

All that cleaning and tidying in big house.... no thanks, you guys can keep them

We will!
Just because you don't see why people want a playroom, does that mean no one should?
I want a playroom so that I don't have the children's toys in my living room. And when they're older/teenagers, they can use it to watch what they want on TV etc. Not that difficult to comprehend is it?

bibbitybobbityyhat · 05/05/2017 19:37

I don't there's anything "quite clear" at all about your assumption Givenuponthegarden.

I lived in a big house as a child. My dad was keen on money, success, property, being flash, fancy cars, workaholic etc. My mum is more cerebral, arty, bookish, creative, introvert and probably felt resentful about having to be in charge of such a large house and garden, albeit with paid help. They divorced.

I've never been in awe of money or social status. I am not jealous of people with big houses.

I AM envious of people who can play a musical instrument, who are slimmer than me and are prettier than me (superficial), and people who had a better childhood and adult family relationships than me. But living in a bigger house? absolutely no jealousy whatsoever.

user1493022461 · 05/05/2017 19:44

we came to the conclusion that you could only use/be in one room at a time

Silly point. Different rooms have different purposes. By that logic you should live in a bedsit, after all you can't be in your kitchen and be asleep in your bedroom at the same time otherwise, can you?

itsacatastrophe · 05/05/2017 19:47

Not that difficult to comprehend is it?

How rude! If this was a debate about, I don't know, let s say religion, there will be loads of posters saying that don't get how someone can believe, and others saying they don't understand how someone can have no faith etc. It's a difference of opinion. And here is no difference. No I don't understand why you want so much space, I couldn't imagine anything worse. All that money you have sacrificed for that extra room to shut your kids into, where you could have spent it on doing amazing things together instead. No I don't get it. But that's fine if that's how you want to live. Doesn't affect me. You probably don't get how I could live happily as a family of 6 plus dog in a 950sqft house with no desire to upsize.
We're different and that's ok. No need to be so rude and defensive over it

LaurieMarlow · 05/05/2017 19:52

I think big houses are over rated too. But different strokes for different folks. I made a different choice (tiny house in very central area of an expensive city). Works for us, but everyone's different.

I'd fucking love a playroom though. Wink

Batghee · 05/05/2017 19:56

my parents house is too big. Its honestly ridiculous and they cant look after it. I am jealous of them having a house as i cant afford to buy but i am not jealous of the size.
Theres two of them in a house with six bedrooms and a separate flat for guests. Theres also a swimming pool and neither of them swim.

I mean its their money to do what they want with yes but the place is soo dusty and crumbling because they are fairly old now and just cant really cope with it. This is not a house theyve had for a lomg long time either. Theyve only been in it a few years. It was actually an attempt to downsize!!

Bluntness100 · 05/05/2017 19:56

All that money you have sacrificed for that extra room to shut your kids into, where you could have spent it on doing amazing things together instead

Huh? I can only speak for myself but for us it wasn't an either or situation, we have done many amazing things together snd I never shut my child in any room.

we came to the conclusion that you could only use/be in one room at a time

I don't agree with this either, someone can be using the kitchen, another in the loo, someone else in the living room. We can have guests over and use all rooms. Each room has a purpose, be it bedroom, bathroom, living room or kitchen and I would not wish to live in one room that served all purposes. So you came to An erroneous conclusion in my view and I'm surprised uou came to it to be honest.

fakenamefornow · 05/05/2017 19:56

All that cleaning and tidying in big house.... no thanks, you guys can keep them

I agree. I live in a big house (with a playroom!) I look forward to the day I can move back into a small flat.

DontBeASalmon · 05/05/2017 19:56

What's amusing is that people immediately translate big house by "rich".
Whilst it's true where I am right now (South East...), there are so many other places where it's not.

I don't understand this either All that money you have sacrificed for that extra room to shut your kids into, where you could have spent it on doing amazing things together instead. Who said we have sacrified anything? You can have space and an interesting life you know. I think my house is too small, but we all have our own bedroom at least. Hardly a sacrifice.

Ecureuil · 05/05/2017 20:00

All that money you have sacrificed for that extra room to shut your kids into, where you could have spent it on doing amazing things together instead

Err... what? We haven't sacrificed anything. We do both. Just got back from a lovely holiday with the DC.
Oh and I don't shut them in... they're allowed to keep the door open Wink

froyotogo · 05/05/2017 20:01

I think it's very kind of them to live in the big houses. If they lived in the small houses where would the rest of us live?

Bluntness100 · 05/05/2017 20:03

All that cleaning and tidying in big house.... no thanks, you guys can keep them

Well if you have a cleaner it's not exactly a hardship,,,😁

JacquesHammer · 05/05/2017 20:07

All that money you have sacrificed for that extra room to shut your kids into, where you could have spent it on doing amazing things together instead

Um how rude. My daughter has a playroom. It opens off the living room. We play in it together. I will be making it into a dance studio for her shortly.

The only time ANYTHING is "shut away" is toys at the end of the day.

No sacrifice needed

working925 · 05/05/2017 20:08

This is such a bizarre thread. Make your children share a room - take in lodgers to fill the space and turn the playroom into a soup kitchen then we'll all be happy. And while you're at it give away your car, walk to work and holiday in a tent in the park.

SleepOhHowIMissYou · 05/05/2017 20:13

Thing with big houses is that you have to maintain, heat and clean the bleedin' things (or pay people to do so). Also, people (apart from your parents and kids) are rarely happy for you.

I don't understand why people want others to be jealous of their house because, if it's better than theirs, it's inevitable. Jealousy is such a negative opinion, why court it?

Better to have a house that's the right size, the ideal is a room for each kid and a spare in my opinion.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 05/05/2017 20:16

Where I live (nowhere special in London) 1 more bedroom costs £100,000 minimum. That soon sharpens up ideas of what is essential or not.

SleepOhHowIMissYou · 05/05/2017 20:19

Actually, big houses are good in the right circumstance. Two of my friends live in large houses as part of an extended family, so married grown-up brothers and sisters, their partners and children, and son's parents in both cases. All rooms being used, so not in the least wasteful.

arethereanyleftatall · 05/05/2017 20:26

I'm lucky enough to be in the financial situation where we can live in a house exactly as we want.
We've gone with:
Bedroom for everyone plus one guest (don't want more than one family staying over)
Playroom (can shut door when not in use and ignore toy mess, less tidying = good)
Utility (ditto above)
Room to store stuff in (like a loft but you can actually get to it)
Study (peace and quiet)
1 x 'chatting lounge' with sofas
1 x tv watching lounge

I agree there's no point having rooms that are surplus to requirements as it's just more cleaning but I love having all the rooms I want.

Each to their own.