Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that some people live in too big houses?

604 replies

URSick · 05/05/2017 11:42

Lots of people live in (in my opinion) already big houses yet they want to move into even bigger ones.
I see so many families where all the children have their own bedrooms, bathrooms, big bedroom for the parents, guest room, study, living room, and yet they never seem to be satisfied and want to move into a bigger house. They all want playroom for the children. What's the point, when they could easily play in their bedrooms or the living room? There are houses where everybody has their own level, plus bathrooms on the landings, more toilets than family members, and yet they want Buckingham palace. It's good to have enough space and not be in each other's pockets but am I the only one who thinks these people are greedy and unreasonable? You don't need to live in a mansion to be a happy family.
Not to mention those houses where entire rooms are never used, lots of space is taken up by massive stairs and there are parts of the house that are just walkways.
What's your take on it?

OP posts:
Nodowntime · 08/05/2017 12:35

What an eye-opening thread!

To be honest, my first reaction was totally understanding the OP, and I was taken aback by all the accusations of jealousy, though I wouldn't think of anyone as greedy for wanting a really big house and call this or that room unnecessary (though until RTFTing I also didn't really get playrooms).

We are at the moment a family of 5(have older DC who live independently - sort of), relocating and had to rent to break the chain. We originally thought we need to buy at least a 4 bedroom house to survive. But now in the process of buying a 3 bed, though in square footage it's bigger than our former 5 bed (which had a walk through bedroom and 5th was a box room, so was more of a 3 bed size).
I knew even before we started looking, that I wasn't that bothered with having a big house. My set in stone criteria were a biggish garden, because I like gardening and need the space for the kids to run about, also I was very bothered about being directly overlooked, then a kitchen-diner which would fit a sofa in, and at least another separate living room downstairs, and a view (we are buying in an area where due to the topography most of the houses have some kind of view).

When I was viewing the house, we asked the agent why the people were selling. We knew they lived there for 10 years and had two kids and one already left home and another was on the way out. I expected them to say relocating/wanted to be more central/downsizing. So when the agent said they wanted a bigger house, I was so surprised I actually thought it was a cover-up and that a real reason must be that something was wrong with the house (actually it is a massive doing-up job, so there's lots of stuff wrong with the house, but I feel nothing is impossible to fix). It just didn't make sense to me that they raised their family in a large enough(in my understanding) house, and now are moving to a bigger house? What is the point? Now, after reading the thread, I understand better :)

There were some people who sounded a bit bitter/jealous about someone else owning a large house, and there were plenty of people sounding defensive about owning a very big house. A little bit annoying to constantly read "I/we worked hard for it", because it sounds as if it implies that people who live in small houses do it because they simply didn't work hard enough or just didn't prioritise property, when such a big part of the population, esp. young people, can work themselves to the bone and deny themselves everything but still would have no chance of getting on the property ladder.
I almost wish somebody actually came and said, yes, live in a massive house, didn't work hard for it or got it for free. Doesn't give anyone right to judge them or their social responsibility anyway.

Anyway, we could afford to buy a bigger house, and the one we are buying is realistically too small for us esp. if older DC or family need to visit, but until reading this thread I just thought of more house as more to clean, heat, maintain, more of a burden than a gift. We like camping as well(if the weather is good!), and that is, I think, part of the same mentality, enjoying at least temporarily a much simplified life, with no stuff or admin to take care of, with very basic needs adequately taken care of. Of course we enjoy it because it is temporary and we can return to the comforts of the house and beds etc, but I wonder if anyone on the thread who wants and owns really big houses (not through sheer necessity, but because they can) gets camping and enjoys it?

Honestly if I won the lottery I wouldn't buy a very big house, I'd see it as a liability. Anything which we ourselves wouldn't be able to deal with ourselves, without employing people (cleaners, gardeners, housekeepers), I'd find draining rather than empowering.
If I won the lottery I'd buy a house we could manage by ourselves with a view, opportunity to create a massive garden and some woodland.

The only good thing for me about owning a mansion would be an opportunity to share it with family and friends, have massive parties, invite people to enjoy the space and the surroundings too.

But because all that goes with owning a mansion wouldn't suit me, I'd rather (in case of a lottery win ;) ) rent a mansion for days out/holidays for ourselves and family, with all housekeeping taken care of by somebody else...

JacquesHammer · 08/05/2017 12:39

Bragging about how super wealthy and privileged you are and how poor people should fuck off when there are people and children literally starving to death on the streets. Shameful

Direct quotes please. Otherwise that's just nonsense isn't it

GrapesAreMyJam · 08/05/2017 12:53

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

JanetBrown2015 · 08/05/2017 12:54

Mine is just a suburban 5 bed ( 5000 sqft if you include the garage) not a mansion but it is quite big. I always remember that quote which went down so badly by that Devon MP asked about his expenses claims. "I have a very big house" he said, people are jealours.

I suppose my parents had a 4 bed detached so I wanting something similar as that is what I was used to. I like space and being on my own. Never yet managed to live on my own but hopefully it will come some day.

It is quite hard work. I do the garden myself etc but I am very lucky indeed. There is also no shortage of homes in some parts of the country where you often have house after house for sale.

kaytee87 · 08/05/2017 12:56

I love our playroom and study and the floor of our house that isn't used very much
My money and none of your business Biscuit

GetInTheFuckingSea · 08/05/2017 13:03

Yanbu. Whenever I hear about big houses it reminds me of poor Tommy Malone who aged five went into his sister's wing of the house in search of a slinky and was only discovered fifteen years later still wandering the corridors and chanting about Northallerton. His hair was all messy and his teeth had fallen out.

And I ask, as I so often do: why??

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/05/2017 13:42

@NotCarylChurchill - I hope you are thoroughly ashamed of that 'burning disabled children' comment, which is easily the most offensive thing I have read on this thread. Sickening.

Strikhedonia · 08/05/2017 14:29

Bragging about how super wealthy and privileged you are and how poor people should fuck off when there are people and children literally starving to death on the streets.

Who said you had to be super wealthy to have a big house
Who are these children dying in the streets?
and who said that in the first place?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/05/2017 16:37

I am not expecting an actual, factual answer to any of those questions, I'm afraid. It is much easier and more fun to throw out ridiculously overblown accusations and hyperbole than to back these up with facts.

Strikhedonia · 08/05/2017 16:56

I am feeling some bitterness from someone who hasn't got their dream house...

derxa · 08/05/2017 17:02

I have 2 houses...

WifeyFish · 08/05/2017 17:28

Not RTFT but geez you'd hate our house! DP and I live in a 4 bed detached house which we've just spent the last year fully renovating. There's just two of us and the dog at present, but we'd like to start trying for a family soon. Currently 2 rooms are unused except for storage and need to be decorated/have flooring laid etc. but we both work extremely long hours so struggle to find the time to finish off everything at the moment. It's been a labour of love, and yes it may be "too big" for us right now, but if everything goes to plan it won't be for much longer.

Whilst it's unlikely to be our forever home, we know we could comfortably live here for many years if needs be. I'm not really sure I understand what your issue is? Surely if people want to live in bigger homes than they need that's down to them? Live and let live I say Smile

GetInTheFuckingSea · 08/05/2017 17:33

I would live in a fucking mansion given half the chance. I want to be like Tevye - one long staircase just going up and one even longer coming down.

However, I would get it by leading my own glorious revolution and then appointing myself as leader.

GetInTheFuckingSea · 08/05/2017 17:34

And then everyone would have a big fucking house!

JanetBrown2015 · 08/05/2017 17:39

Also size and locaion are a huge issue. You can get loads of space and acres of land in parts of Scotland and Northumberland and it's not particularly expensive.

I don't thnkk it's greedy and unreasonable to want space. Some people want to be minimalist - some only have 10 possessions including their phone and with their data in the cloud and only need a studio room or travel and never settle. We are all different.

"They all want playroom for the children. What's the point, when they could easily play in their bedrooms or the living room?"
When our youngest were very little it was useful to have them in one downstairs living room with all the toys and mess and then have a different downstairs room for teenagers/us etc.

Middleoftheroad · 08/05/2017 17:47

As stated previously big does not eqjate to pricey. just seen six bed i Grimsby advertised for £110 do you thik those owners are poncy priveged southerners?

our five bed was £287,000 our three bed with one bathroom £210,000 so not a huge leap or millionaire's row!

Middleoftheroad · 08/05/2017 17:48

£110k..... £110 would be cheap!

MaggieLightBlue · 08/05/2017 17:49

Nodowntime, completely agree with you.

user1490734428 · 08/05/2017 17:56

I agree OP.

I think people have their reasons - my parents live in a 5 bed house, it's just them and my brother there. They also have a 2nd house in the back garden they are developing into holiday lets.

They like the space because they like being able to accommodate family (who live abroad and visit for a while).

If had lots of $$$, I wouldn't necessarily buy a huge house but would spend it on travel/kids uni fees.

derxa · 08/05/2017 18:00

Live and let live I say You haven't posted much on MN i take it Grin

HelenaDove · 08/05/2017 18:08

STDG Thanks

I have elderly parents who live in a 3 bedroom house and they struggle to get up and down the stairs.

I dont think expecting elderly people to sell and move out of their home is fair. The house was built in 1968. My parents bought it when it was a hole in the ground. Me and DB came along in "73 and "75.

That house holds a lot of memories and moving is classed as just as stressful as divorce or bereavement. It would break DMs heart to move out of that house.

And why the fuck is it ok to tell elderly people what to do with their own property.
If i went on a thread on here and told someone they should be selling their car id get bloody flamed.

And supported housing is no gurantee either even if someone did want to move.

ijustwannadance · 08/05/2017 21:32

Some lovely big cheap houses in Grimsby area. Nice period properties.

It definitely depends were you live. We're certainly not wealthy but paid £170k for our 5 bed. There are 3 beds nearby similar priced. The new builds in the area are tiny with pokey rooms, no storage and start at £150k . If my house was in or near London it would easily be £1.5 - 2 million.

If I was really greedy I could get two large bedrooms and a big bathroom in the loft.

CheerfulYank · 09/05/2017 17:03

I, personally, will soon die if I don't manage to renovate my basement into a playroom. Either I'll bleed to death from stomping and then falling on various toys spread all around the living room, or I'll SEE the toys spread all around the living room and stroke out with rage.

My house is pretty small by American standards. But it works. Or will once the basement is done :o

I agree in a way, but only when people insist that they just CAN'T live in a perfectly adequate house. If someone just says "I want more space", whatever. But this moaning about how cramped they are with three people in a house far bigger than mine with 5 (looking at you, Uncle Mike Hmm ) then I do get a bit eye rolly.

Haliez13 · 09/05/2017 17:42

I was brought up in a big house - five bedrooms (one for each child, plus parents, plus au pairs bedroom), study for dad who sometimes worked from home, playroom for us (bedroom was quiet/study/alone space), and a dark room for my dad's hobby. Plus stables outside and a couple of acres of land.

Lovely old historic home. No regrets at all. I did roll my eyes slightly at DSis buying a 5 bed recently for her and her dog. That seemed a bit daft. But it's her money. She earned it. It's not like she's forcing a family out onto the streets by doing it.

daffodil10 · 09/05/2017 17:50

YABU
I was brought up in a 8 bed farmhouse in Scotland on a rented farm, the house just happened to come with the farm. I've now married a farmer in the midlands who owns his farm and we live in a 7 bed house with 700 acres of land. His family worked hard enough to buy their farm and the beautiful house that came with it. If you can afford it, it has nothing do with anyone else