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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want MIL to stop saying I'm huge!

101 replies

Bebopaloula · 05/05/2017 08:57

I'm 34 weeks pregnant. So far, I haven't been sensitive or overly emotional to too many things. I've had the odd sob sesh (for no particular reason!) but in general I think I've been pretty settled.
However, my MIL, in the last few weeks has made repeated comments on how big I am. These range from simple comments like "oh you're stretching again" which are fairly tame to "oh my god girl, you are massive" and "oooft - you're huge!" and the one that tipped me over the edge last night "i think it's going to be a 10lb baby".
I politely said to her that at my last scan 2 weeks ago, baby was only around 3 1/2 to 4 pounds to which she replied, "yeh well that was 2 weeks ago, let's see!".
I'm paranoid about what I'm eating now and worried that I'm not seeing what other people are seeing.
My DH keeps telling me I look great and I thought in general I hadn't gained too much weight across the rest of my body but I can't help thinking about it now Confused

OP posts:
DisorderedAllsorts · 05/05/2017 09:00

And say 'ooof, you sound like a thick, stupidbroken record' each time she mentions your size. The stupid woman.

Supersoaryflappypigeon · 05/05/2017 09:01

I could've written this Grin

My mil was exactly the same when I was pregnant. DD weighed 6lb when she was born-to be fair I retained a shed load of water and ended up with preeclampsia but she was telling me I was massive way before that.

Just ignore her-some people don't think before they speak. Don't alter your diet unless your midwife says to! They monitor weight gain and measure you (or they should).

Maybe tell your mil what she says is upsetting you, or ask your DH to tell her to shut up. I wish I had!

Supersoaryflappypigeon · 05/05/2017 09:02

Also-I bet you look fabulous-please don't let her spoil a lovely time Flowers

ShowMePotatoSalad · 05/05/2017 09:02

YANBU. I hate it when people think that just because you're pregnant they can be rude to you about your size.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 05/05/2017 09:04

"I won't always be big but you will always be a bitch. "

RuggerHug · 05/05/2017 09:16

Yanbu. My MIL on my wedding day said 'you really have gotten huge very quickly'. Try and ignore the comments or smile sweetly and say 'yes everything is progressing perfectly with the baby'. And don't mention the size so she can't smart arse back.

budgiegirl · 05/05/2017 09:21

Aw, just ignore her, she's a silly woman.

My sister managed to upset me by suggesting I went to a NYE party as Mr Creosote when I was 8 months pregnant. I was very offended, but she thought it would be funny - looking back it maybe would have been, but it didn't feel it at the time !

grumpysquash3 · 05/05/2017 09:24

budgie that's mean.
I went to a party as Mr Greedy when 8 months pregnant (my suggestion though, I would have been pissed off if someone else had mentioned it)

Thetruthfairy · 05/05/2017 09:27

She just doesn't get it. Just sit her down and tell her that it upsets you. My fil is worse, he likes to comment on post-baby weight... Cringe.

WomblingThree · 05/05/2017 09:28

At least you're pregnant Wink. Mine never misses an opportunity to tell me how fat I am and my youngest is 17 Blush. Just ignore the silly cow. Don't for God's sake compromise your health just because she can't keep her opinions to herself.

hungrywalrus · 05/05/2017 09:29

No need to be subtle here. Just tell her to please not make such comments as it's making you feel nervous when there is no need to be. Your weight is under control as per the midwife and you'd prefer it if it weren't a topic for discussion. Unless of course she'd like you to comment on her weight, seeing as this is now something to talk about. Some people just don't get hints and maybe she doesn't realise she's being insensitive.

She's probably excited and doesn't know how to channel it. Is there a more suitable topic she could get into?

DirtyChaiLatte · 05/05/2017 09:33

Some people just like to say things to hurt other people. I think in their tiny, insignificant little world it makes them feel better about themselves.

I hate people like this.

Goldenhandshake · 05/05/2017 09:35

It is horrible OP, at a particularly sensitive and vulnerable time, I remember my Dad commenting how I was carrying baby in my arse when I was pregnant, obviously being hormonal he was told there was only one huge arse in the room!

highinthesky · 05/05/2017 09:35

This is probably MIL's way of showing how much she "knows" about pregnancy. I bet she doesn't have a clue that you're offended by her interest in your progress....however she chooses to express that interest Confused

DH should speak to his mother if its bothering you that much. Her comments are only going to continue once you've had the baby - about both your weight and the baby's.

FeralBeryl · 05/05/2017 09:42

I think for a lot of people it's a weird way of complimenting you.
Same category as when they say your baby is chubby etc.
I used to shrug and say 'well that's what happens when you've got a whole other person sitting in your tummy'
Honestly - unless she has form for insidiously upsetting you, try and ignore her.
If she does though - hard stare and tell her this is not acceptable and upsets you.
Congratulations too Flowers

GrumpyOldBlonde · 05/05/2017 09:51

When I was pregnant people stopped me in the street to tell me how huge I was, I was told I must be having twins, must be very overdue (at 30 weeks!!!) and so on.

Neighbours would remark on my size daily, shop assistants, the whole, entire world it seemed.

I was enormous but was well aware of it. It just got tiresome, like I hadn't noticed my gigantic belly or something.

tiggytape · 05/05/2017 09:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyPW · 05/05/2017 09:58

Just say 'yes, I have another human being growing inside me' and give her a Hmm

Floozie66 · 05/05/2017 09:59

Could you say 'at least i have an excuse'!!

sailorcherries · 05/05/2017 10:00

There's nothing wrong with a 10lb baby and mothers size doesn't dictate baby size, my son was 10lb8oz and no one knew he would be this big, although I was huge. I'm now significantly smaller and baby was estimated at 4.5lbs at 30 weeks! So your MIL is wrong there.
Plenty of huge bumps for small babies and small bumps for big babies.

I'd tell your DH to tell her to keep quiet or I wouldn't be held responsible for my actions, especially this far along.

araiwa · 05/05/2017 10:01

i really dont get this

youre big because youre pregnant

what is there to be upset about?

there are no thin, skinny women who are 34 weeks pregnant ffs

ChocolateRaisin09 · 05/05/2017 10:11

what is there to be upset about?

Well durr... maybe because people commenting on how big you/your baby is when you're constantly worried about your baby and how it's coming out etc?! And it's not ok to call anyone huge at any time!! Or small for that matter.

I got called huge and my friend got called tiny, we were both upset as it's nothing to do with anything. Poor OP, I hope your MIL shuts her big fat mouth.

Gottagetmoving · 05/05/2017 10:16

I don't think she means YOU are huge,..she means the baby bump. I have often heard people say that to pregnant women.
She isn't saying you look disgusting or horrible...just that your bump is huge.

Wando1986 · 05/05/2017 10:18

Yanbu OP, but you also shouldn't be putting on any weight beyond baby's weight/extra blood & water volume.

Eeeeek2 · 05/05/2017 10:19

I got comments about being huge when being sent for growth scans because I was too small. People are just stupid and feel like they can comment or ask anything personal

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