To be absolutely fucking petrified by childbirth?

[PalomaViolets]

...The title says it all really. I'm 37 & 20 weeks pregnant with my first. It's been quite easy to put my head in the sand so far and concentrate on organising the nursery etc. but I know this isn't going to help in the long run. It's been a relatively easy pregnancy so far bar the otherworldly tiredness.

I'm a bit of a loner and can count the number of friends I have on one hand so not had loads of experience with people having babies.

Just the thought of a baby coming out of me scares the shit out of me to be honest. She wasn't entirely planned but she's very much wanted by us.

Any advice? I'm really new on here so am just getting the hang on acronyms etc.

I went into labour naturally and ended up having ano emergency c section. The pain was indescribable and I have severe period pains that used to cause me to pass out so I thought I was a little prepared. I vomited a lot, was shaking, crying...the works. Then they said I was having my c section and I felt incredibly calm and strong. Like everything was out of my hands and I would just have to go with it.
What I'm saying is, no matter how hard it gets, your mind will dig deep and find a way of dealing with it. Good luck!

I found it was best not to dwell too much on other peoples experiences anyway, I found I didn't really want to hear them. I did the NCT classes and I had a colleague who was very good at telling you things you wouldn't think of. Like you can buy really cheap nighties in Matalan, so get lots and just chuck them if they get bloodied. And take snacks ( M+S chocolate flapjacks!) for afterwards. I kept myself calm by telling myself that the baby was a reality, she was in there and one way or another she was going to have to come out. However awful the exit was, it would be finite and she would be out.

Tbh i thought natural birth really wasn't that bad
Yes there's contractions yes it stings a bit but it's a positive pain
Every contraction is a step closer to having baby here
Ask for drugs as soon as you can - keep asking

Get DH on board with what you want ( before hand) so when your there he can insist you get pain relief as needed.
You'll be fine. Stay calm. Your body is designed to do this

I was terrified .
I never held a baby before I held my own son.
I took my glasses off when the birth videos were on at the pre-natal classes BUT I realised that RL births are not like TV soap births .

It is hard work, I didn't scream, I needed to reserve my energy.

I didn't want anything like epidural (I had Pethadine for DS but not DD - it made me dopey) Gas'n'Air all the way.
The Midwife ask 'what pain relief do you want ' they give the Bithing Mum all the options.

I stood on Stratford Station and thought 'everyone here has been born. Some by CS. Some will have had siblings. But they've all been a part of the process'

I did it twice
Good Luck

Firstly OP YANBU at all!

Secondly I can sympathise, I too fell pregnant unexpectedly with a very much wanted baby so I hadn't got a chance to think about the logistics until it was too late!

I did a hypnobirthing workshop in which there was a lot of emphasis on your body 'just knowing what to do' when in labour and I'll be honest I thought it was utter bullshit but in my case turned out to be true!

I was very lucky to have an easy labour of just under 3 hours, I arrived at the hospital fully dilated and my baby arrived 15 minutes later! I did however have a tear which required quite a few stitches!

Best of luck to you OP, no matter what happens it will all be worth it when you have that first cuddle with your baby

OP I was inducedand got to 9cm before foetal distress meant I ended up getting a crash section. I was trying to push by that point naturally and was told to stop. I didn't find labour to that point that painful if I'm honest. I only had gas and air and only towards the end. I've had poos that were more painful (and boy have I!) I appreciate I didn't get to pushing stage but from what I'm told that bit is actually quite easy as the pain of crowning is fleeting and quickly gone. I'm gutted I didn't get to have a natural birth & even although I was terrified of the pain everyone spoke of, I just didn't experience it.

Epidural - check when it will be too late to ask for one and make sure you ask for it before then.

Don't pre judge - labour for some people is fine you might be one of them. If not refer to my first point.

I would also say no to pethidine,it just made me dopey between contractions so I didn't get to appreciate the breaks and it didn't really help with pain and knocked me out for an hour after my dd was born for an. hour

I have done it twice with gas and air and a TENS machine which I hired from Boots. I also recommend breathing techniques which really helped me. I found I liked to count things I could see in my environment over and over during contractions ( for me it was a pattern on the wallpaper border in the room for first birth and a line of trees I could see through the window for the second birth).

Also, OP I haven't read full thread so I don't know if anyone else has mentioned this. I once did a poo into the midwife's hands as my baby's head was coming down the birth canal. I was mortified but she had seen it all before and said it was a sign the head was nearly there. She did a very fast change of gloves !

Yanbu. However I found that arming myself with lots of information and knowing what I wanted but not being inflexible about it was a massive help, I wasn't really scared at all when it happened. I had a pretty quick birth and it was so much better than I had expected. Waters broke overnight and contractions became regular about 4pm. Got to hospital about 6.30pm, pool was free which was what I hoped for and my son was born at 10.30pm. I was lucky it went to plan and I just needed gas and air. Tell the midwives of your fears. Mine were fantastic. It is different pain to being ill. If has purpose. You know it will end. If my labour had gone on I might have needed other pain relief. Don't rule anything out. Go with the flow. You get a baby at the end so it's worth it