To let my DD walk on the wall?

[PrincessWatermelon]

Like any other children, my 2 DDs (2 and 4) love walking on garden walls. There are some especially good ones near the school. No one has told us off, but I do wonder what the 'done thing' is. Obviously I'm careful they only walk on a sturdy wall and don't touch/harm any plants/fences, etc. Do you think this is ok or AIBU?

It's just a wall for fucks sake.

Maybe, but the bricks that walls are usually made from, aren't meant for walking on. The surface chafes and flakes. They become slippery. Who's then liable if your child slips and hurts themselves? Whilst you'd like to think that you'd just suck that up, as a parent, unfortunately we have become a litigious society and there are increasing numbers of people who'd sue, as in America.

We spend a lot of time in school trying to stop kids walking on walls around the grounds, as well as running through the daffodils up and down the banks. They know the rules perfectly well, but then after school you see their parents turning a blind eye to it, or actively encouraging it.

whos because a public wall is just that, public.

There was an old wall near my doctors that everyone used to sit and walk on. No one was bothered. I worked in that building for years before it became a demolition site.

A persons private garden wall isn't there for peoples children to use as gymnastic practice or a public bench.

I would be seriously unimpressed if you turned a blind eye to, let alone encouraged your DC to walk on my garden wall!

They aren't designed to be walked on, and if I had to re-render or repaint my wall because your DC chipped a bit off or got mud/dog shit on it, I would be seriously impressed
If your DC slipped and landed face down in my garden, I would be even less impressed with you

But potential damage aside, it is basically saying your DC's right to play trumps anyone's right to their own property, which is not a nice lesson to be teaching

You know what really is miserable. When you your neighbour who struggles to walk is out on her weekly (slow painful) walk up to the shops trying to bend down to pick up bits that have been kicked off off her wall by people's kids.

I was perfectly happy with children walking along our wall.

Until they seemed to think the whole bit of surrounding garden was also free for them to walk in.
And they wore a bald patch on the grass.
And the wall collapsed.

We haven't been able to think of an alternative to a wall that won't get abused in the same way, so our boundary is now marked by a pile of broken wall.

These sound like pretty crappy walls tbh

These sound like pretty crappy walls tbh

They're probably built for purpose, as a boundary or to retain an earth bank behind. "Purpose" doesn't include being walked/jumped on with a range of hard footwear.

These sound like pretty crappy walls tbh

Oh I'm sorry , you're right! we really should replace our pretty wall that matches next door and is beautifully inkeeeping with our period property with some sort of steel play frame or a soulless flat concrete wall that's better for walking on for your kids benefit!

We've been quoted £10k for redoing our garden path, repairing the wall and putting railings along the top of it. So it's not getting repaired anytime soon!! I'd love to put up railings tomorrow, perhaps OP will consider donating a few hundred every time one of her kids walks on a wall. Then everyone would have a real choice of whether to allow the walking or put up railings.

We haven't been able to think of an alternative to a wall that won't get abused in the same way, so our boundary is now marked by a pile of broken wall

barbed wire?

ace
They are perfectly good walls at doing their job of marking a boundary

Lots of walls aren't designed to be walked on, jumped on, jumped off. They aren't build to withstand weight, and doing so can be dangerous

We designed the wall at the front of our house to be in keeping with the street and the house
Children using it as a balance beam on their way to school wasn't a consideration

Too big for wall walking now, but never on a garden wall. Rude.

These sound like pretty crappy walls tbh

It took ours about 5 or 6 years of having dozens of children daily walking on it to collapse.

We didn't build the wall with the intention of having to cope with the abuse of children climbing all over it on a regular basis. Stupid of us, obviously ...

These sound like pretty crappy walls tbh

has anyone ever told you to make your kids walk on their crappy walls?
didn't think so
so it really shouldn't have anything to do with you if our walls are too "crappy" for years of daily abuse

I have a walk that children always walk on. Doesn't do it any harm. It's never crossed my mind to object to children doing what children have always done.

I hope no kid tries to walk on my wall, it will probably crumble and hurt the kid and the parent wouldnt want that, especially as Im sure the parent would try to pull a compo claim which would be countered with a claim for trespassing and damage to property

My three always walk on walls have never given it a thought! Never been told off either in fact have had lovely people come and chat to us sometimes. Obviously if the wall looked unstable or if they were obviously going to do damage I wouldn't let them.

These sound like pretty crappy walls tbh

No. They're just not designed to be walked and jumped and climbed all over.

There's a wall that runs end to end at the River Trent in Nottingham, I didn't know until my Grandma told me it's actually the flood defence. It's served its purpose and prevented that area from flooding for over 50years. People climb all over that one because its public and sturdy and has a certain purpose.

A garden wall is a boundary marker, so naturally much lighter, ergo a different purpose altogether.

Our garden wall is about 4' tall, probably about 150 years old, and would probably collapse if anyone was stupid enough to climb on it. I wobbles from the base and birds have picked out most of the mortar (or whatever the sticking stuff is called) for reasons unknown. Salt? Or just general nest building supplies Off to google why birds eat wall.

You say you wouldn't mind someone walking on your wall OP - but it's not just your child that will do it, it will be numerous children day in day out walking along your wall. That would annoy most people to be fair

My three always walk on walls have never given it a thought! Never been told off either in fact have had lovely people come and chat to us sometimes. Obviously if the wall looked unstable or if they were obviously going to do damage I wouldn't let them.

Once again, why should the onus be on owners to have to come out and "opt out" of having your kid walk on their walls?

How about doing the reverse, and only walking on walls that you are explicitly invited to walk on?

It's not an option for us, I'm not there much and next door can't move fast enough, it does bother her, both the damage and she worries about kids getting hurt

Our wall doesn't look unstable due to us always repairing damage promptly, but it is!

and if a wall isnt' already unstable, you are making it so by walking on it if it's not designed for it

It wouldn't bother me at all!

I grew up in a part of town with great garden walls for walking and nobody ever complained. And all/most children did it.

I know that I did and I know that I later held my little sister's hand and carried her on my back so she wouldn't have to get down where the garden door was.

DD can't walk yet. But I personally wouldn't have thought twice about it..

I won't let my children walk on other people's walls.

My DPs live opposite a school and their front wall has been destroyed by people leaning or sitting on it over the years. They worry now that it will collapse while someone is on it and they will get hurt.

and nobody ever complained. so?
seriously? why do people need to tell people not to be inconsiderate, and if you don't go out 20 times a day to tell everyone who does it not to it means your wall is fair game?

I'm assuming people saying 'no one has complained' are taking their child for these walks outside of normal working hours, so after 7pm, say? Or are you expecting all owners of houses with nice walls to be so loaded they don't need to work? Ha.

School run time is when you would expect people to be at work. How can they tell you off when they aren't there?

Then there's the elderly people like Tinsels ndn, or just pregnant whales like me, that would struggle to notice and get out in time to say something before the kids have moved on to the next wall.