to be surprised / disappointed by the lack of doing Dutch / women paying on First Dates?

[helpmesusan]

Seriously, in 2017? Men ALWAYS seem to pay. Some of the women actually get pissed off if they don't.

Can this be a true representation of RL?

I've not been dating for over 15 years, but I would always offer to pay half, and I wouldn't accept an offer to pay for my meal. I most likely wouldn't be interested in continuing to date a man who got offended by that or who wouldn't accept me paying for my half. If I was at the start of a relationship, I might suggest either continuing to pay halves, or taking it in turns to pay. I don't see why there should be any expectation that the man should pay, just because he's a man.

I'm a feminist, if it's relevant.

I offer to split it but any man I'm with has always insisted on paying. I'll make up for it buying drinks later in the evening.

I haven't dated for a gazillion years - however, I would always offer half on a first date and I would insist if I felt it wasn't going to go to anywhere.

It was never an issue but I expect I would make an honorable exception for the scenario where some billionaire whisked me off to the opera in Paris on his private jet or something... seems an unlikely hazard on a first date though.

I have a friend - not dating - who pays for things because he has a lot more money than me. Hes quite breezy when he says this and gets the bill as if of course he's paying. I don't know what to make of it but feel obliged to accept as I feel petty not to at the time.

If I were to ever date again I would insist on splitting bills.

I haven't seen this TV show, but when DH and I were dating "at the turn of the century" , he always paid. Not only that, he always picked me up and took me home, even though it was a part of London that was out of his way. I would book things in advance etc, to try and give him something back.

Call us old-fashioned, but I'd rather have that attitude any day than the "Meet me in the pub - your round", kind of set up that seems to be becoming normal "these days". It's so depressing. How can people be bothered?

As a PP said, if a man doesn't offer to pay on the first date, then when do you think he will offer? Second date? Five years later when you can't work because you're taking care of his two kids day in day out and he still expects you to "pay your way - everything 50/50?"

I think whoever asks should pay, for first time anyway.
In the same way that if I invite my DC friends out for a day out I expect I'm paying and wouldn't ask the parents to give me half or whatever.