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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ignore the letter I've received from the hospital?

358 replies

Frillyhorseyknickers · 01/05/2017 19:08

After my 12 week scan I booked an appointment with the reception for my 20 week scan, for tomorrow.

We've just come home from bank holiday away and I received a letter either Friday or Saturday stating a different day (the day after) for my scan.

I was really miffed because I'd been looking forward to my scan (first pregnancy) and my diary is full now for the next few weeks. I had kept tomorrow afternoon free for the scan, but otherwise I am between four offices and I can't just free up a few hours at short notice.

My DH says we should go to the appointment tomorrow as booked and just discard the letter and deny all knowledge of it.

I feel really bad about doing that as it's NHS and they are obviously busy. DHs point is that we booked the appointment weeks ago, they have given us less than one working day's notice of the change and they are taking the piss.

WIBU to just turn up to the appointment I had arranged prior to this letter?

OP posts:
LedaP · 01/05/2017 19:10

Of course yabu.

They wont squeeze you in and even if they do it will be rushed.

Its not ideal. But really, you think you cab just turn up?

Pommes · 01/05/2017 19:10

Give them a ring to confirm the time on the letter is wrong? By going tomorrow it is possible the only person's time you are wasting is your own. I hope your scan goes well, will you be finding out the baby's sex?

Instasista · 01/05/2017 19:11

I am totally with you on how unreasonable THEY have been. Problem is, you can't win here. You go tomorrow and they won't fit you in. Why can't you go on the new date?

Or, best advice call first thing tomorrow and clarify.

ineedamoreadultieradult · 01/05/2017 19:12

Why not just call them first thing to check if there is a typo on the letter or your appointment has been changed. If its changed to a date you cant do then rearrange to a date you can do.

nickedmyname · 01/05/2017 19:12

I'd call them and check what appointment they have you down for. Might be an admin error. You may well turn up tomorrow and be turned away, or you may be booked in for the appointment tomorrow as you'd originally thought.

RaeSkywalker · 01/05/2017 19:12

I'd call in the morning and explain. Hope that they move you back.

PastysPrincess · 01/05/2017 19:12

Don't go without checking. If you've had short notice it could be someone is off sick and they've had to cancel.

ohfourfoxache · 01/05/2017 19:13

Don't just turn up.

Yes, it's a pain in the arse. But appointments aren't just changed for no good reason. Do you think they were bored one day and decided to just fuck around with people's plans?

Ywb extremely unreasonable to do as your dh suggests

Stripyhoglets · 01/05/2017 19:13

I've done it, turned up a month early for a follow-up after surgery, it was a genuine mistake - and I was seen.
I'd go along and deny all knowledge and they may be able to see you as someone may have cancelled - you don't know if you don't try.

minisoksmakehardwork · 01/05/2017 19:13

As frustrating as it is, yes, ywbu. However, you could ring the department first thing and ask when the next appointment they would be able to give you is. You would only waste your time turning up. It might be that the person scheduled to do them is now unavailable so they're only doing emergency scans or some such. There will be a reason and they are unlikely to 'just squeeze you in'. Would you really want them to rush an anomaly scan and miss something just because you want to see baby again?

wickerlampshade · 01/05/2017 19:13

The sonographer may be ill in which case you'll only be wasting your own time

Supermagicsmile · 01/05/2017 19:13

If you go tomorrow and they don't have you down they are unlikely to have time to see you. Ring first!

JoWithABow · 01/05/2017 19:16

Depends how miffed you'll be if you get turned away. If it's an easy trip to make with easy parking etc then you could always take a chance, but recon it could be a wasted trip

twattymctwatterson · 01/05/2017 19:16

They'll turn you away. There's a reason they've cancelled- probably that there's no one there to see you so it'll be a wasted journey

Wolfiefan · 01/05/2017 19:17

Why would you ignore the letter? You did have an appointment and now you don't.
You need to free up the time.
Trust me you'll need to be a whole lot more flexible if you plan on going back to work after the baby is born. They don't give you notice of when they plan on being ill.

5OBalesofHay · 01/05/2017 19:18

I'd go privately if I had your pressures

Topseyt · 01/05/2017 19:18

You would be very silly to do that even though they have given hardly any notice.

Call tomorrow to clarify, but if you just turn up you probably won't be seen. Your employer does have to allow you the time out for antenatal care, even if some appointments do get changed.

You could well have to go to the appointment you have now been allocated, or they could have difficulty fitting you in at all.

witsender · 01/05/2017 19:22

Well, it is a pain but it happens. I wouldn't just turn up, as they can't just squeeze people in...they don't have capacity. And you will only be annoyed if you have a wastes trip.

Original poster
Frillyhorseyknickers · 01/05/2017 19:24

Sorry it was my DH who suggested ignoring the letter and going regardless- I just wanted other people's thoughts so thank you.

I'm a surveyor, so whilst I'm based in the same city as the hospital, my profession covers estates all over the country and as it stands after tomorrow I'm now not back in "home" office until 22nd May but which point I'll be almost 25weeks.

I'm just a bit miffed as I was looking forwards to checking everything was OK and with arranging it so far in advance and was peeved to receive a letter with less than one working day's notice.

OP posts:
SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 01/05/2017 19:27

Ring them tomorrow and explain, it's quite possible that there's been a mistake and the date on the letter is incorrect.

Wolfiefan · 01/05/2017 19:28

There will be a reason. DS had a specialist appointment that was cancelled about three times. They only cancel for a reason.

ohfourfoxache · 01/05/2017 19:28

Please don't think I'm being patronising, but tbh I think you need to look at your expectations of NHS care.

Resources are massively, massively stretched. And I mean it is absolutely fucking awful. I've worked in it for 20 years and my colleagues and I all agree that we've never seen it so bad, across all areas.

I'm also 30/40 with ds2. If you think that this is bad then you're in for one hell of a shock when you get to the postnatal ward. Last time we had 1 day (out of 3) where there was a senior midwife and an HCA to cover an entire ward during the day shift. An entire ward. All day.

The staff were absolutely amazing. So dedicated and so caring, but obviously frustrated at not having the right resources.

This was 2 years ago and this time I fully expect it to be worse.

If you're looking for something "better" then you really do need to go private. You probably won't get the same swap around of appointments and will be able to have consultant care throughout.

bimbobaggins · 01/05/2017 19:29

Surely the only reason they are cancelling you is because the clinic has been cancelled and if you turn up anyway they won't be anyone to see you.

TheLegendOfBeans · 01/05/2017 19:31

Whilst I understand your position you need to make arrangements re work. You are entitled to these appointments and sometimes work needs to work around you.

Don't take the piss out of the NHS.

ohfourfoxache · 01/05/2017 19:31

Can you get a private scan in the city you're going to be in? They are expensive but aren't generally extortionate