To ignore the letter I've received from the hospital?

[Frillyhorseyknickers]

After my 12 week scan I booked an appointment with the reception for my 20 week scan, for tomorrow.

We've just come home from bank holiday away and I received a letter either Friday or Saturday stating a different day (the day after) for my scan.

I was really miffed because I'd been looking forward to my scan (first pregnancy) and my diary is full now for the next few weeks. I had kept tomorrow afternoon free for the scan, but otherwise I am between four offices and I can't just free up a few hours at short notice.

My DH says we should go to the appointment tomorrow as booked and just discard the letter and deny all knowledge of it.

I feel really bad about doing that as it's NHS and they are obviously busy. DHs point is that we booked the appointment weeks ago, they have given us less than one working day's notice of the change and they are taking the piss.

WIBU to just turn up to the appointment I had arranged prior to this letter?

God, it does piss me off when idiots bang on about the NHS being free. It is only free at the point of delivery - as was said further up the thread, anyone who has paid tax has paid into the nhs!

Not enough time to RTFT, but OP you will be needing a nanny when you go back to work, or you will be doing a whole lot of fucking around of your employer/clients. Little kids sick all and the time and pass about 75% of it onto you -although a nanny can't help with that-

Frilly, I think you have had a harsh time on this thread. I looked forward to my scans, most people do. Just to confirm everything is ok and to see your baby. I would have been annoyed at the late swap too, that has never happened to me. Just bad luck.
Good luck next week.

Not enough time to RTFT
Thanks ok - a lot of people have just read my initial OP, none of the subsequent posts and come up with completely reasonable responses such as...
you will be needing a nanny when you go back to work
Which isn't in any way some dig at me for doing ok in life
you will be doing a whole lot of fucking around of your employer/clients. Little kids sick all and the time and pass about 75% of it onto you

But rest assured - I'm fairly resilient. My husband is a farmer - he lives and breathes germs. We have two dogs who excel in rolling in shit and regurgitating heifers afterbirth on the kitchen floor. I have six horses which I hunt and event - I'm not a stranger to pain and injury. I'll take my chances with a child's cold but thank you for being a complete arsehole, I'm really sorry life is so boring that you have to try take pop shots at some stranger on the internet.

I would suggest POF or candy crush depending on whether you've already got a poor long suffering bastard husband

The NHS, though, can be chronically underfunded AND massively incompetent at admin AND have a culture putting it 10-20 years behind modern life. So yes, more money would definitely help (and is essential to achieving all this), but you also need proper admin that works and a modernised outlook and more HCPs across the board, including carers/vast improvements to social care. I bet my boots it's got vastly ridiculous practices that haven't been examined in 20 years.

That said, if a staff member has to leave at 5 on the dot then she has to! She's presumably got other commitments like children to collect from nursery or whatever! Individuals can't be expected to carry on trying to save the NHS without any support.

If the Data Protection legislation asks for written consent for emails, then why aren't all patients asked at their first appointment to provide said consent? I'd quite happily sign a form agreeing to have appointments arranged/rearranged by email.

frilly nice one

Btw I would recommend asking PALS how DNAs are counted. Because if yours is counted as such, then they are massaging the figures. Your local newspaper could get some mileage out of it, esp littered with other stories of people who have been through the same. Perhaps against a backdrop of raised parking charges. From the look of this thread, thus be queueing round the block

Op you've been treated harshly and FWIW the nhs has treated you shoddily. Yes I accept some appointments need to be moved but especially with the bh weekend you should have been called/texted not communicated via snail mail. My local gp surgery texts me appointment details so such a thing is not beyond the nhs.
I can imagine being in a similar work scenario myself and it would be extremely frustrating
You need to complain through PALS and sort out another appointment for next week which I'm sure you will and all will be fine.
Btw I found antenatal care to be patchy but care when actually having a baby to be exemplary which is what matters. Hope it all goes well from now on.

Legal entitlement to time off, ah yes.... I worked nights, my scan appointments were therefore metaphorically at 3am and I could be at the clinic for several hours buuut the appointment wasn't during my working hours so I had to use annual leave (which needed sufficient notice of course) to take the next night off so I could sleep.
Luckily my midwife suggested seeing me out of clinic hours so I could pop in at 8am on my way home for the regular checks.

See, plenty of people can't just 'suck it up', even those in factory jobs.

Good luck with your re-booked scan OP.

Ermmm that was actually a real suggestion that you get a nanny if you can afford it because small children do get sick a lot and if they go to a CM or nursery they are not allowed in when unwell, and you will have to take time off to care for them. I know because I am going through it. Also haven't RTFT as life busy not boring. Good on you for having a good immune system though.

I think others have said the NHS is great in an emergency, but routine stuff they are generally incompetent and need micro managing by the patients. The Sister's response is typical of the NHS's attitude towards the public. An appointment is not an appointment unless it is mutually agreed by both sides.

Frilly - You have every right to be super miffed about the administration of clinics and appointments. One of the NHS' biggest failings is the ability to communicate. They have messed you around but expect you drop everything at a moments notice.
I hope you get this resolved and you get to see your little life inside you very soon.
I adore the NHS and have worked hard for 26 years (and counting) but have seen first hand on many occasions how unhelpful or unwilling some staff are.
I'm saddened by how hostile some posts have been towards you.
Good luck and stay happy🙋🌈

My most recent pregnancy, I got referred for my scan by the GP as required. The weeks ticked by, I'd had no letter. Rang the hospital, they said they'd got no record of my referral- I had to call my GP and get it faxed over again not once but twice, before the antenatal clinic finally agreed they had my referral and they would be contacting me. The next day I'm in the park and get a shitty phone call from the hospital saying I've DNA'd my scan! I had an appointment all along but nobody bothered to check the system. My point is do not assume that they couldn't have messed up your appointment- the one you had booked may still be booked in. NHS admin can be massively incompetent and its not good enough and I say that as an NHS maternity worker. I do think if they have rescheduled you that you should explain you cannot attend and can they please fit you in today as planned? They may well have some flexibility.

They should have contacted you by phone, but remember that staff aren't supposed to leave messages with any "real" information (not supposed to even reveal that they are calling from a hospital) and without your written consent specifying what they can/can't communicate, they can't email.
And yet they can send letters with 'NHS' stamped all over the envelope so its clear where it's come from. And they can share records without patient knowledge and consent. This 'consent' excuse is just a reason not to communicate with patients, when consent is the easiest thing for them to obtain.

Frilly, I think I love you a little bit.

What unnecessary vitriol from dolts who haven't RTFT.

I had to go down that PALS route and found it very worthwhile. That is disgraceful behaviour by the ward sister. Do they think it's still the 1950's?

FFS, all the comments about 'your entitled to time off'. What if it's your own company? Thinking back to all the half days I had for scans and midwives appointments, it really is a slight piss take. And the assumptions, that as a woman you might have shag all more important going on, and then the gems come out - 'you're prioritising your work over your baby' bullshit.

Mumsnet is better then this.There just seems to be a lot more boilers around these days.

Good luck next week and with the rest of your pregnancy.

Bollard I may be being over sensitive here (and at 30/40 preggers it's probably likely) but that is the position of "the powers that be". Try being the poor fucking mug at the end of it whose responsibility it is to be in touch with patients- trying to get through all the red tape and do the best you can for people who need it. Oh! And if you break the rules and you're found out? Yep, it's a major bollocking.

Try being the poor fucking mug at the end of it whose
I know. I'm having a go at NHS policy, not the poor sods who have to deal with it.

Thank you Bollard

Sorry, this thread has made me very defensive about what most NHS staff have to go through because of bloody policies - and not having the resources to do what we all know needs to be done.

I wish there was a different way of doing things, and so many of us genuinely try to make a difference on a daily basis. But there is such a lacy of joined up thinking and constant fire fighting that systemic change just seems unlikely.

Can I just put in a request to everyone? If and when you find an NHS worker who really helps you out, please say thank you. I'm only on the admin/management side of things, but my collection of thank you notes from patients is one of my most treasured possessions.

I always say thank you for good service and write to the CEO. Sadly it's outnumbered.

Just remembered pg 3. Just an empty sac at 12 weeks. Admitted for ERPC. Assured next day all apts would be cancelled automatically because I asked. Got a call at 20 weeks bollocking me for not attending the scan and wasting an apt. I apologised and explained. Was there an apology? [pink 🐷 pig emoticon]

I tried to say thank you to all the staff who have been treating my dad daily by buying in lunch. We did this each time a child arrived and had a huge platter of nice sandwiches delivered for the delivery team on duty as well as the post natal ward. It wasn't a problem and I got a quick email from the ward manager to say thank you.

Well the NHS manager was a bloody nightmare. Oh there are different people on duty and so and so needs vegetarian another person needs halal. There were about 5 other demands and a request to do two lunches as staff split between two shifts.

I put my hands up and got a thank you card with a big box of chocolates. Never again will I ever try to be nice to the NHS manager from hell. I felt so bad for the staff though and I've gotten the nurses who have looked after my dad Amazon gift cards. They deserve something nice.

I took a tub of Roses or similar into the Mat ward at the hospital where DS1 was born. They were ace - helped me out no end, including persuading me to stay when I tried to leave in fatigue-induced migraine fog. I was about ready to just walk out, but they were brilliant and really helped.

And I'll never forget the Christmas Eve I was on call in the labs, and one of the A&E staff generously sent me through a sample bag full of Quality Street from one of their tubs - made my Christmas, that did!

Thanks mean SO much in a job that is so underappreciated and so denigrated by those outside of the service.

No regarding the nanny thing OP, the PP is tight - nurseries won't take your child if they have a temperature of 38 degrees. One of my kids, when she was a toddler, ran a temperature even with a slight cold. She had one or two days off nursery every month for the first 12 months she was there. So unless your DH has a job he can take time off at short notice, you need backup - your mum, or an emergency nanny - there are agencies. Having a full time nanny or nanny share might work out better, as it is a bit tough on a child to be looked after by an emergency nanny they don't know when they're feeling ill. Although then you have to consider what cover you would need for if the nanny gets sick).
I would also recommend you get your DC vaccinated against chickenpox. It's not part of the NHS raft of vaccinations for small children but it is well worth it - DH and I were out of work for a week each when first one and then the other of our DTs got chickenpox.

Give them a call first to clarify that it's not an error, if not explain that you've had to arrange work/appointments around your original appointment and that the short notice means that you will struggle to be able to make the new time, they may be able to squeeze you in first/last appointment, I wouldn't just turn up at the original one as by that point it would be harder for them to juggle things, then ignore all unrelated posts - no-one has a clue about your circumstances, and whether or not you'll even be returning to work, and if not a nanny perhaps you will have grandparents handy etc, you've explained your circumstances for the current period of time, they are simply guessing the rest

ohfour

I do always say thank you to the staff. There are two nurses I won't ever forget. One stayed an hour after her shift finished to keep popping in to check on me and see if I needed anything I never saw her again she was from another hoslital. One I hope knew how lucky they were to have her.

And one who bloody talked for England I think i pretty much know her life story. She kept me company for 4 nights and was the only one who cared enough to not do dds obs like a herd of elephants and tried not to wake me. She took fab care of dd and the conversation was a good send.

I made sure to pass on my thanks

YANBU to complain to PALS about the short notice of the rearrangement. These things will happen, but there are better ways of them dealing with it. My GP and hospital use text msg reminders for instance which let you into a phone booking system if you need to rebook.

However, some realism is required about dealing with the NHS. I have a fairly high level public sector job (not in healthcare). I have people travelling from all over the world to visit me. I'm the only person who can do that job so no one will take over if I'm not there. My employer asks that we try and make routine appts at the beginning and end of the day to avoid disruption, which I almost universally managed until pregnancy. During pregnancy it was easier because of the legal protection for antenatal appts. My 20 week scan happened as booked, except DD would not move so they couldn't get all the checks done despite spending over an hour walking around, having cold drink etc. We had to arrange to come for another scan a few days later which was a pain to arrange for both our workplaces but had to be done.

Employers either have to be fine for you to do this or accept that they need to pay for private healthcare and have their staff more available to them. I used it as an opportunity to argue for greater resilience in my dept. This is the reason why there is a charity providing private healthcare for vicars, for instance, because it is really hard for them to just abandon a congregation with no one to fall back on.

I completely sympathise and would be tempted to do the same except you more than likely will get turned away. The thing is, a private scan is relatively cheap and they will almost certainly squeeze you in at very short notice. Just find somewhere near you, it will be between £90-£150 and worth every penny for your peace of mind.