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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ignore the letter I've received from the hospital?

358 replies

Frillyhorseyknickers · 01/05/2017 19:08

After my 12 week scan I booked an appointment with the reception for my 20 week scan, for tomorrow.

We've just come home from bank holiday away and I received a letter either Friday or Saturday stating a different day (the day after) for my scan.

I was really miffed because I'd been looking forward to my scan (first pregnancy) and my diary is full now for the next few weeks. I had kept tomorrow afternoon free for the scan, but otherwise I am between four offices and I can't just free up a few hours at short notice.

My DH says we should go to the appointment tomorrow as booked and just discard the letter and deny all knowledge of it.

I feel really bad about doing that as it's NHS and they are obviously busy. DHs point is that we booked the appointment weeks ago, they have given us less than one working day's notice of the change and they are taking the piss.

WIBU to just turn up to the appointment I had arranged prior to this letter?

OP posts:
Thisiswhyileft · 01/05/2017 21:40

I agree it's unacceptable to cancel at such short notice and if you turn up insisting you did not get the change of appointment letter they probably will fit you in, but there will have been a reason why it was changed, so fitting you in means a rushed scan by a stressed sonographer.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 01/05/2017 21:40

They haven't cancelled for no reason, and they never cancel lightly or to piss people off. It's just one of those things. The service is extremely pressured and something must have happened to require a change to routine appointments. As such I don't think you should deny all knowledge of the letter. Phone up and ask them to book in for another time that is convenient for you. In a week or two?

maggiethemagpie · 01/05/2017 21:43

I went for my scan on the right day but about an hour late, I'd mis read the time. I had to wait a while and got a few grumpy glances from the staff but they did fit me in.

haveacupoftea · 01/05/2017 21:44

I see your point re routine appointments but from this stage in your pregnancy you will have quite a lot of appointments to fit in. I think between 20-25 weeks I had about 5 unexpected but routine appointments; a redo of the 20 week scan because the sonographer couldn't see the heart properly; flu jab; GTT; appointment to discuss results of GTT; something else I can no longer remember - standard midwife appointment probably or maybe a trip to MAU for reduced movement.

Things don't always go to plan and with pregnancy they definitely don't. There will be times you have to abandon what you are doing with less than a days notice - with less than 5 minutes notice - because if you're with the midwife and she decides you need a scan and trace that very minute work goes out the window and you go straight to hospital.

InvisibleKittenAttack · 01/05/2017 21:44

Good luck OP - call in the morning and explain you just got the letter and can't do the new date, can they squeeze you in if you turn up and just wait when they are free?

TBH - pregnancy is the first time most woman have had to have much to do with the NHS since childhood beyond the occasional trip to the GP for something minor. The way it operates is so out of step with the way private businesses operate is bizzare if you aren't used to it (and many who work within the NHS don't get how odd their systems are).

Get used to it though, it's pretty shit and not something I do think we've got right compared to many other countries in Europe.

Mistletoekids · 01/05/2017 21:46

YABU if you want it at your convenience you pay for it privately

ScouseQueen · 01/05/2017 21:47

I don't doubt that the NHS is in trouble, but people who try to make out that everything is always done for the best possible reason. DH has regular appointments at a clinic and on several occasions he has received a letter telling him that his appointment has been cancelled and is being replaced by one on the same day but ten minutes later, so - for instance - at 10.20 instead of 10.10. Tell me how that makes any sense as something for a cash-strapped, short-staffed service to do!

As for the posters berating OP for being to busy and important to accommodate this change: she's had a DAY'S notice. You don't have to be the Prime Minister or president of the CBI to have trouble arranging time off work at that short notice. In fact people in low-paid, insecure jobs are often the ones who suffer most from that expectation. But hey, it's easier to shout at people about being entitled even when expectations are already at an all-time low, and not always with good reason.

Gileswithachainsaw · 01/05/2017 21:48

YABU if you want it at your convenience you pay for it privately

Oh ffs itbwas arranged weeks ago and everything else arranged around it then despite being able to provide three days notice the hospital opted for snail mail which could easily have meant she didnt even get the letter til after the appointment and shes u reasonable Hmm

NoMudNoLotus · 01/05/2017 21:52

A 20 week scan isn't "something to look forward to " ... it's a medical assessment .

You do realise that ?

It's not set up as an opportunity to coo over baby .

If you don't like what's offered go private.

OhTheRoses · 01/05/2017 21:53

mistletoekids the op is already paying for NHS services.

elfonshelf · 01/05/2017 21:55

OP, I have so much sympathy. The hospitals I go to are beyond hopeless on the appointment front - one invariably cancels every appointment at least once (after the last time when it was cancelled 4 times, I had a fit on the phone and told them to cancel someone else - which they did and reinstated my appointment), they have managed to remove me from their system completely by accident (amazingly managed to find me an appointment in 2 days once they realised they'd done that), at least 4 appointments I have turned up to find I'm not on the clinic/scan lists despite the letter saying the date and time, and the latest I found out was that I was taken off the surgery list without my consultant's knowledge. This has been going on for nearly 14 years so nothing to do with any particular government or money, they're just supremely incompetent.

DD and I turned up for an appointment the other month with her specialist to discover they had posted the cancellation letter at 5pm the day before - how they expected me to have received it I do not know. Had to arrange more time off work and it also affects DD's attendance record - fuming was not the word. Totally, totally unacceptable. Unfortunately we can't go private as her condition isn't covered by any insurance company.

I would ring in the morning and see if they can do anything.

Most of my family work for the NHS - none of them think it fit for purpose anymore. Time to look at other options imo.

Original poster
Frillyhorseyknickers · 01/05/2017 21:58

NoMudNoLotus

Congratulations on your ability to cherry pick parts of my posts in order to generate some inane argument Hmm

Thank you to everyone who has contributed it's been interesting to see people's views.

I do think it's incredibly sad that a lot of people seem to think we (collectively) need to accept any form of the NHS we may be offered. I'm very fortunate to be in a position to go privately, but for many others who aren't, I don't think it's fair to just say "that's the NHS take it or leave it".

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 01/05/2017 22:01

Hi elf

I showed up for Dds xray with the appointment letter and they had no knowledge of her. Well the x-ray department didn't but the people who injected the dye into her did.

Thankfully they squeezed us in however I'd have been extremely angry if dd had gone through all the attempts to put a canula in and then have the dye injected only for her to not be able to have the x-ray.

I used to organise the hospital appointments for my neighbour. I'd end up taking a call asking why we hadn't showed up for an appointment having just received the letter stating the new time is rearranged it to having had to cancel it. (Through illness)

It's a joke

BeaderBird · 01/05/2017 22:07

Is this a piss take? Have you watched the news or read a newspaper lately? The NHS is fucked and you want to act this entitled and turn up to an appointment that now doesn't exist because you're a bit out out and disappointed?

YABVU

BoomBoomsCousin · 01/05/2017 22:07

The economic impact of inflexible appointments and long waits for treatment is not insignificant, but it is not part of the NHS's mission (nor is its budget calculated) to minimize this. For this reason, many workplaces offer private health coverage. Even some public services, like the police, not as a frivolous perk, but in order to keep their employees productive. It is a shame that insurance is allowed to exclude maternity coverage - which raises the cost of health insurance for women (or leaves them uncovered for some things) rather than spreading the burden across all covered people.

Ginlinessisnexttogodliness · 01/05/2017 22:11

Wow some really harsh comments on here.

What if OP had been away and not received the letter? Possible with it being a Bank Holiday. She might have just turned up, and quite frankly allowing a stupidly short amount of notice makes this eminently feasible.

Yes, the NHS is stretched, but actually in instances such as these, a letter is possibly the worst way to mitigate for these kind of problems. They should be CALLING people on their mobile phones to rearrange and clarify especially over a Bank Holiday weekend or weekend. The post is appalling. Many hospital,s don't allow children to scans, so for us for example, this would be a night,are as we have nobody near by and it takes a lot of organising to arrange childcare. Work commitments are no different.

Furthermore, it's just bitchy, no asinine to think someone with a high pressure demanding career can simply accommodate a cancelled and rearranged Hospital appointment with less than 24 hours notice, it doesn't work like that. It's got jack shit to do with her maternity leave stop being so nitpicking and rude. Actually most working people would struggle career or status aside, in fact the more lowly employees probably even more so.

OP, personally I would call first thing in the morning and explain that there is no way you can make that appointment and is there any chance that you could be seen that day still. There might have been a cancellation, you never know. They might even have made a mistake, so it's worth checking.

I hope you get it resolved.
Just because you have a good job and I'm assuming a decent amount of money does NOT mean you aren't entitled to be a bit brassed off at this and want to explore your options. After all, you've paid a fair bit of tax and NI in your time I'm guessing.

Good luck.

Italiangreyhound · 01/05/2017 22:11

YANBU I would be tempted to go and wait for a free slot. They have messed you around. It's not a free service, we pay for it. But in your shoes I might ring up first and explain you kept the whole afternoon free and see if they can give you a time that suits them better but still tomorrow.

Hope it goes well. Flowers

Lemonnaise · 01/05/2017 22:17

A 20 week scan isn't "something to look forward to " ... it's a medical assessment . Confused

I looked forward to all my scans. Every pregnant woman I've known has looked forward to their scans. I think you are seriously nit-picking here.

BeaderBird · 01/05/2017 22:22

Messed her around? They have had to reschedule her appointment.

Gileswithachainsaw · 01/05/2017 22:25

Calling her Wednesday to rearrange would have been rescheduling her appointment.

Sending out a letter due to arrive at a point where no one has any time to do anything if at all is messing her about

Ginlinessisnexttogodliness · 01/05/2017 22:27

Lemmonaise technically a scan is an assessment / analysis.

Lots of pregnant women dread their scans, myself included. With both my last two children and now this one. For many women this could be for a number of reasons: fear of something being wrong, missed miscarriage, no heartbeat, previous loss, just plain old paranoia.

Ginlinessisnexttogodliness · 01/05/2017 22:28

Giles spot on

mummytime · 01/05/2017 22:32

I have always been given plenty of notice for a changed NHS appointment unless it has been a real emergency e.g. Th Doctor is off sick. In my area which includes large rural areas this is crucial as the volunteer transport for the poorer patients can't be rearranging with no notice.

Italiangreyhound · 01/05/2017 22:34

The cost of producing and posting a letter verses a quick phone call is utterly mad too! It's a waste of resources to work ole that.

I didn't't necessarily look forward to my scans as there were issues bit I would have otherwise.

Northgate · 01/05/2017 22:35

It is annoying when these things happen. I hope you manage to get it sorted out satisfactorily when you call them tomorrow.

But I wouldn't just turn up unless you're prepared for the possibility of being turned away.
We had a similar situation with DS1 a few weeks ago - hospital appointment that had been scheduled for weeks. We turned up with our appointment letter, and the receptionist asked why we'd come in when the clinic was cancelled. The consultant was off sick, and her secretary had forgotten to tell us (the secretary did come out to apologise for not calling us). But we still had to go home without being seen, because there wasn't another consultant free - as a pp said, there's no redundancy in the system to compensate for things like that. Although at least, our appointment wasn't as time-critical as a 20 week scan.