To expect him to come home straight after work?

[user1493216442]

DP and I have 1 DD.

I have PCOS and currently having a cyst rupture, extremely painful and I've struggled to move much all day. DD as been with my parents, only getting back an hour ago. I'm struggling to keep up with her already. DP is at work and knows all this and knows I was up nearly all night.

This rarely happens so when it does it knocks me for six.

DP is finishing work an hour early today (being a bank holiday) and he told me this morning he'll come straight home to help with DD. Now he's messaged me to say he's going for a drive after work and will be back around 30 mins after DD's bedtime. Leaving everything to me - as usual.

I do everything for DD, and DP. I know he's been at work all day and it doesn't normally bother me if he goes out for a drive or whatever, he works damn hard and he needs time to relax.

I just thought considering he knows how much pain I'm in, and 3-4 times today he's suggested to me to go to the GP, asked how I'm coping with DD, that he'd come home straight after work and help me out with our DD.

Aibu or am I being a selfish ass?

Tell him to come home!

He's being selfish, who the hell goes for a drive these days never mind going for a drive when they have a sick wife and a child at home. I've never heard the like. He's simply deciding not to come home to help? He'd rather drive around instead? What an absolute creep.

YANBU. Text him. Tell him on this occasion he needs to sort dd.
then when you're not in pain perhaps a chat about a regular time out for you from it all.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It sounds very painful. I think I would expect him to come home straight away. It's not as though he isn't aware of how bad you must be feeling given his attentive texts today. It seems a bit odd he isn't doing. Its a fine line when you aren't well and him needing 'him' time too. But if the roles were reversed what would you do? I think I already know you would be going straight home. I hope you find some relief soon.

Going for a drive though. Very odd, is it a hobby (an off roader?)?

'Going for a drive'
Odd when he knows you're expecting him home

Going for a drive is very odd. Does he do this often and is it something more than well, just driving around the streets in his car?

He just goes off for a drive? No particular reason or destination? That's really odd.
He's being selfish especially considering he knows very well that you need him back today.

A drive

He just drives round, leaving the hard work to you?

Eh? He's going for a drive, to where? Does he normally have random drives by himself? I thought you were going to say he was going to the pub!

He is being selfish. You are a team and you need help. He knows you are home alone struggling and in pain and he's choosing to avoid coming home early to help you.

Text/phone him and tell him to come home after work and he can have a "drive" another night when you're not in agony.

Op I think uou need to explain further, we are all a bit bemused by the thought of him just driving round...

Going for a drive? What the actual Fuck? Why? Driving where? What for? Sorry, but that's bullshit. He's either avoiding coming home (why would you do that?), or that's a cover story for something else. If he's finishing at 4pm and getting in around 7pm (guessing) that is one hell of a drive. Who would even want to waste all that fuel? Sorry, makes no sense whatsoever. And as Judge Judy says, if it doesn't make sense, it's not true.

I just can't understand the sheer selfishness of some of these people!

Going for a drive? And what does that mean? Yanbu.

As excuses go for not pulling your weight in difficult circumstances, 'going for a drive' is completely pathetic. How have you replied OP? 'As I am in severe pain, I can only assume that you are joking about going for a drive. What kind of cunt would actually do that' would be my suggestion.

Going for a drive where?

I don't find going for a drive odd per se but it's not something you do for hours and definitely not when your wife is in pain and needing to rest. There has either been some miscommunication and he thinks your DD is still at your parents or there is something very very wrong with his attitude.

Going for a drive?

To where, with whom and why, are my first thoughts.

'A drive'? Does that mean 'dogging'?

I don't want to say at this point that I think it's bollocks (let the OP clarify first) but it certainly rings alarm bells.

The only time I go for a drive is if I want a sneaky fag away from the DCs. What's he doing?!

Really odd. Firstly because he clearly knows you are struggling, as he's been checking in in you all day. Secondly, because just driving around is really random. How long are we talking? How long between when he finishes work and DDs bedtime?

Call him and tell him he's not going for a drive he's coming home to take over.