Livid

[Crazyhair12]

AIBU here? I have just found out that my husband and his ex-partner took their child to the doctors together!! Nothing serious, just a minor skin ailment!! AIBU to be so f'ing annoyed that he never told me and I found out by mistake?

It was a minor ailment so probably not worth mentioning and if they're accustomed to doing appointments together then does it really matter?

I think YABU to be livid that he didn't tell you. Unless it resulted in him standing you up or spoiling a meal you had cooked and it would have been manners to let you know. It's just so mundane. You also exclaim that it was just a minor skin ailment.
Did he know that before he went? Not that it matters, but it seems to matter to you. I think you sound highly strung.

I can understand you feeling a bit miffed finding out from someone else. It would possibly grate on me a bit if someone mentioned they'd seen them at the Drs together last week and I didn't know. Probably unrational but was there a reason you weren't told? an oversight? didn't think it worth mentioning?

How old is the child? You mention he is your husband so child must be fairly old?

If you had said that you were slightly put out that he didn't mention the GP visit, then that might be fair enough.
But you didn't say that, you said you are LIVID. Which seems like a massive overreaction to me. That you are furiously angry, wrathful, beside yourself. Because your DP did a normal parenting thing with his DC and the DC's mother...when they have a track record of collaborative co-parenting.

I can understand that you'd be curious as to why he didn't get around to telling you. But you could simply ask him about that. I'm going to guess there's more this than is expressed in the opening post. There has to be some reason you're this upset, and it can't just be a one-off incident, like forgetting to mention taking his child to a doctor for something that turned out ok after all. I assume if it were a serious medical issue he would've told you asap. (Btw, I'm glad the kid's fine and it was nothing serious.)

YABU

Buuut....It's not your child. Why should he tell you?

Going to the doctor is a "parent's thing", not a "couple's thing"...

I'm waiting for some sort of really massive backstory and looots of dripfeeding.

Why so angry? Genuine question.

I would've expected it to come up in conversation tbh. But only because I'd be wondering how the child was / what the doctor said. I would not be livid. I wouldn't even be mildly irritated. I have no idea why you would be.

This is so weird.

Does he have to make a point of telling you every single thing he does? It's not like he hid it or lied about it.

Yabu.

Surely you should be focused on the child being ok?

You sound controlling. Its their child, and he doesnt need to report everything to you. Its not normal!

Get a grip.

Of course YABU.

You've got some apologising to do.

Unless there's more to this?

Nuts

I suspect i have forgotten to tell my own husband, the father of my children, about a few doctors appointments in my time.

This is a very strange reaction OP.

Massive over reaction. I might be a little teeny bit put out if I hadn't been told, but I would not be livid. He's a parent and his children's needs should come first imo.

I really don't understand? Has something else happened that you haven't mention here? Even being slightly annoyed by this would be odd, let alone livid.

Thank God you're not my Ex's GF OP.

If you're livid at the fact he didn't tell you he'd took his own DC to the docs with his Mum, you'd have been apoplectic with rage with my Ex, he even had the gall to visit me in HDU last year on his way home from work.

I can understand you being slightly miffed but being livid at something he probably didnt even think was worth telling you is a complete overreaction.

YABVVVVU

*sorry. Just seen your his Wife. Not GF.

I get that you're upset actually. It would be good to have been kept in the loop. But its about perspective and this isn't a reason to get really upset about. I'm guessing you feel ignored/dismissed on other topics hence your anger over this.