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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh won't drive to the shop

105 replies

GreenHairDontCare · 01/05/2017 11:07

To get stuff for a roast dinner. He said we can all walk down (takes about an hour there and back) and make it a nice dog walk with the kids. I don't drive or I'd have gone myself, and the buses are rubbish today.

But about five minutes ago he had a brainwave about making cheese scones. And now he's going to drive to the shop to get the buttermilk (and the roast stuff).

His logic (?) is that making the scones is a family activity so it negates the need to make the trip to the shop a family activity.

I've told him he's being weird. I mean, I'm happy not to have to leave the house and everything, but I just don't get the so called logic.

It's not me, is it? I'm laughing at him and he's looking at me like I'm mad.

OP posts:
user1489675144 · 01/05/2017 13:10

Trills summed it up perfectly. What a lovely person, he thinks about what family activities you can all do. You are blessed.

Raggydolly3 · 01/05/2017 13:14

But why is it any of your business that she can not drive?

The Op said she can not drive and that sound have been that.

Next time some asks me I am just going to say "because I can't be arsed and I enjoy using my husband as my personal taxi driver with the added bonus of always being able to drink"

Raggydolly3 · 01/05/2017 13:18

Is not explaining something the same as justifying it?
And it's not like the OP was asked nicely if she could not drive she was told quite firmly and rudely to "learn to drive"
Anyway back to the thread "he sounds like he is trying to do things as a family OP, yes it might get a bit lost in translation but his heart seems in the right place

EastMidsMummy · 01/05/2017 13:18

But why is it any of your business that she can not drive?

This is becoming bizarre. I thought the OP posted something on a public forum asking for people's opinions. Whether or not she can drive is entirely pertinent to answering the question "Am I being unreasonable?"

EastMidsMummy · 01/05/2017 13:20

Is not explaining something the same as justifying it?

No. I can explain the rise of Trump. I can't justify it.

SaltySalt · 01/05/2017 13:21

EastMids, surely you don't think anyone is ever going to say, "OMG thank you so much for that advice. I literally never thought about learning to drive"?

Exactly my point. eastmids there's always one and it was you.

Topseyt · 01/05/2017 13:23

EastMids, you got into a hole there. So stop digging.

I had about three months last year with limb in a cast and medically unable to drive. No licence revoked, doctors just told me not to, and I couldn't have anyway. Nobody should have to justify it at all.

Raggy, that is a good response. Grin

The thread is about OP's DH and his crazy logic, intended as humorous I would have thought.

LemonCurdles · 01/05/2017 13:30

EastMids YABU (and bizarre) Grin

EastMidsMummy · 01/05/2017 13:48

Everybody understands that there are all sorts of reasons why people can't drive. You're the ones that are stigmatising not driving by using words like "justify" and taking offence at a simple suggestion that the OP learns to drive.

The OP herself had a perfectly reasonable response - she's not allowed right now for medical reasons. She hasn't turned the whole thing into a devastating personal critique, which it clearly wasn't meant to be, on what is, indeed, obviously a light-hearted thread.

Aderyn2016 · 01/05/2017 13:48

Eastmids are you suggesting with the comment about having a car and a husband and therefore not needing expensive lessons, that OP (if needing to learn to drive) ahould be taught by her dh? If so, you are crazy. I personally think dual controls are quite handy when first learning and that teaching one's spouse to drive is a quite route to divorce Wink

picklemepopcorn · 01/05/2017 13:50

On the subject of slightly strange logic, DS1 wants to visit Warwick Uni. I said to DH 'BIL lives in Kennilworth doesn't he, not far away?'. He answered 'Leamington Spa.'

Both DS and I are still wondering what Leamington Spa has to do with it, but apparently it's not far away either. Hmm

picklemepopcorn · 01/05/2017 13:53

I agree eastmids needs to stop digging, especially as insurance for a learner makes it hard even if your DH drives and has a car already. Plus it doesn't work if you have children. We got a cheap small car, insured it so DH could learn as my car is a bit van like. We never had time/sitters/opportunity to go out driving without the children. Lessons would have been cheaper.

alonsypot · 01/05/2017 14:03

Yeah, quit digging East. No one needed to even ask the OP why she couldn't drive. For whatever reason it was clear in the OP that it wasn't an option, and it wasn't the (lighthearted) problem either.

(It's a bit like saying to infertile couples "have you thought about adopting?" Well no, I bet they never have before, but thank god internet randoms are here to offer their solutions!)

LemonCurdles · 01/05/2017 14:05

EastMids Your original post came across abrupt and bitchy, not witty or clever.

You are failing to absorb why people find your comments offensive. Can't you at least acknowledge other peoples feelings with grace?

I have a feeling you're going to need a bigger spade Hmm

EastMidsMummy · 01/05/2017 14:09

No one needed to even ask the OP why she couldn't drive.

No-one did. And she can drive. Have you even read the thread?

For whatever reason it was clear in the OP that it wasn't an option.

It wasn't clear. She just said "I don't drive."

alonsypot · 01/05/2017 14:12
Grin
Original poster
GreenHairDontCare · 01/05/2017 14:15

These are epic. Good call, DH. Good call.

Dh won't drive to the shop
OP posts:
EastMidsMummy · 01/05/2017 14:20

EastMids Your original post came across abrupt and bitchy, not witty or clever.

I suggest you are reading far too much into that post if you think it was an attempt to be witty or clever, or bitchy and abrupt.

I mean, what about the post two down from my first one, where someone says: Buy a bike? How is that any more acceptable??

"OMG!! How offensive and rude is that?! What if I have no legs/money/sense of balance/crash helmet? What if I come from a toxic family where no-one taught me to ride a bike?! What if I am recovering from a fatal traffic accident when everyone I knew was mown down by the peloton of the Tour de Yorkshire??!!"

EastMidsMummy · 01/05/2017 14:21

Nice scones, OP. I'm out.

picklemepopcorn · 01/05/2017 14:21

OP, could I suggest a name change to 'dontdrivedon'tcarewhateastmidsthinks'? Too much of a mouthful? Ok.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 01/05/2017 14:24

His logic makes a lot of sense to me!

Giddyaunt18 · 01/05/2017 14:36

Probably because the scones were his idea and the roast wasn't. Men will go to the ends of the earth if it's for them. Just an observation. I'd laugh too and I sympathise as you are unable to just jump in the car yourself at the mo.

OlennasWimple · 01/05/2017 14:58

Yum, those look delicious!

Yeah, his logic is, um, different but wouldn't life be dull if we were all the same

Beeziekn33ze · 01/05/2017 15:01

Pickle - Warwick Univ isn't in Warwick! It's in some strange 3rd dimension between Warwick and LS.

Beeziekn33ze · 01/05/2017 15:03

Who else is now desperately wanting cheese scones?!
OP can I join your family, claim to be a long lost rellie? Your home sounds a good place to be!

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