To ask how 'grown up' you were aged 22?

[Soyamilkisniceintea]

I started my first job at 22 and looking back, I was really, really immature

What were you like at 22?

mother you obviously didn't read my post, as I gave an example of someone else who was mature in ways I'll probably never be, despite them not owning a house, not having kids and only just having left uni
You seem to really want to be offended when I've agreed several times that there's many different paths to maturity.

A bit of a mix

• Living in London in a flat share, in second year of a graduate job, going out a lot, drinking too much and always too much month at the end of the money (fortunately my flatmate was a trader so we'd go out with him and his mates and get free drinks- yes I know I was an embarrassment to feminism), made bad man choices (nothing abusive, but just twats) but at the same time,

• Mature enough to realise I had to buckle down for my chartered accountancy exams and pass them all first time.
• Always went to work on time and got it done, even if hungover
• Never defaulted on important things like rent, utilities or travel card (but once ate plain pasta for a week and walked home 7 miles a lot after the tubes stopped).

Actually it's not just your posts: it's a general - and baffling - point of view. A lot of people are saying oh yes they were frightfully mature as demonstrated by their kids/husbands/jobs/houses etc. As if these provide unquestionable proof of maturity.

One could, as I say, argue it's equally mature to decide not to opt too early for those things and concentrate on having a good time and finding out what you want to do in life without the commitment of a home and kids.

I was very immature, no idea how to v myself, or make myself happy. Lots of self destructive behaviour.

I agree on that point mother, but no one has that their way is the only way to maturity. They've just given their own experience, why the need to try and tear it down?

I felt I was pretty mature. But I didn't have a house, husband or children. I wouldn't meet dh for another year or so. Wouldn't buy my first house for another 10 years. I don't see those as evidence of maturity necessarily.

I was working as a trainee lawyer, had just split from a really nice guy who would have like to settle down with me eventually but I knew he wasn't the one. The work was hard and stressful.

My friend recently gave me copies of all the letters I wrote her during that period and we really were having a lovely time - no barfing in toilets or night clubs but I was out nearly every night of the week going to plays, cinema, meeting friends for a drink or a walk, running club, heading off for the weekend with friends. I'm still friends with most of the people I was spending time with back then,

A lot of people have implied it's the proof of maturity per se. 'I'd got/done/etc so I'd say I was pretty mature'.

I don't even care that I wasn't particularly mature at that age, but I do think those statements are a bit specious given that nobody else has gone on to say 'but that isn't a demonstration of maturity in itself'.

I'm not the only one who's saying this anyway. See below:

There's a lot of defining "maturity" as simple conformity to social expectations on here.

I was living with a flatmate, I was working full time in Admissions at a RG university and had just started going out with now DH.

I'm now 27 and I don't own a house, I don't currently have a car and my credit rating is through the floor. I'm sick of being an adult

Two years into a mortgage, one year married and gave birth a couple months before my 23rd. I was a manager (now own the business after buying out the boss) and about to celebrate my 7 year wedding anniversary. We are very happy and we were a lot more mature and settled than any of our friends and older siblings. I also have a lot more grey hair than any other 28 year old I think!

Well, I thought I was very grown up - in all the wrong ways. Not mature and empowered - I thought my youth was over and I'd have to knuckle down to being basically middle-aged. I'd done a 4-year course at uni so I was 22 when I graduated, and I'd also got together with future DH just before my finals. We moved in together after the end of term and were engaged within a few months and I'd also got a very boring office job. DH was then quite conservative with a small c (he's loosened up a lot since then and is now probably a much more unconventional than average 50 year old). I bought some "officey" clothes and started seeing myself as this conventional officey person. It didn't help that we were by far the first people in our circle of friends to become long-term paired off, and as soon as we became engaged, and even more so when we got married the following year, it felt as if some of our old friends slightly distanced themselves from us, as if they assumed we would only want to be together and not see anybody else any more. Life revolved round shopping and cooking together and cleaning the flat and going out at the weekend to places like Virginia Water. Looking back now, we were like a 40-something couple in a not very funny sitcom.

But we grew up, and in growing up grew a lot younger at heart. A year after we got married we moved to a different town and it was a bit of a fresh start - we both had jobs with a good mix of ages to socialise with, got some new interests that got us outside more, and in the end we had about 6 very sociable and adventurous years before we had DC. I wish I'd known at 22 that my best years were not already behind me!

I was so immature and in actual fact a bit of a nobber

This was definitely me, in fact I'd go further and say I was pretty much a trainwreck at that point. I did get over myself, and actually started to grow up after I left my first marriage when I was 30.
I still don't own real estate of any kind, nor have I ever, and got married for the second time at 36 and had my son at 39.
I've always been a bit surprised to find myself an adult, but imagine I just do it in my own way. Nothing like the stories on here, for sure!

Very. I was a staff nurse at a London teaching hospital. Many late shifts and weekends would see me running a 30 bed acute ward.

Left school at 15, so I'd been working for years and had not long moved into a rented flat with now-DH. Lived off of chippy, chinese, and whatever ready meals were reduced at work. Went out drinking quite often. It was ace.